Conversation last night:
Friend: What do you think about X's news?
Me: What news?
Friend: Oh, I thought he'd have told you by now.
Me: No.
(Beat)
Friend: I'm sure he'll want to tell you himself.
(Beat)
Friend: I expect he'll tell you tomorrow.
(Beat)
Friend: It came up when (name) and I met with him at the weekend.
(Beat)
(Beat)
(Beat)
I have made a mental list of good things this news could be. It may be more fun than knowing.
Wednesday, December 04, 2013
Sunday, December 01, 2013
Bath and Wells Clergy Gathering
I was asked for my reflections on why the Gathering (deliberately not called a conference) of Bath and Wells diocesan clergy at Swanwick this week was so good. And you know, it's a hard question to answer.
I can immediately think of one thing that wasn't as good as last time and two things that were dreadfully cringy but somehow these didn't matter. I may not mention them.
Let's have a go at why that was. In no particular order:
Having no diocesan bishop takes the pressure off people to show-off or have someone they are trying to impress. We were told, back in July, that it was hoped our new appointment might be sorted by the time of the gathering so we could at least hear the name used for the first time. This didn't happen and, apart from a few jokes (the absent bishop has been referred to as Bishop Kevin for a while now) was not mentioned. But it does make our diocese a place of hope and expectation.
The organising group went to some trouble to include everyone. There were quiet spaces and discussions, a very noisy multi-media Eucharist and a quiet spoken one, a lively bar (which now has real ale on hand-pump) and a saunter (a solo outdoor prayer walk), many symbolic acts in a closing Eucharist but also a poet in residence all week. We had some simple gifts in our rooms to welcome us and an A4 pad with logo and pen.
A gathering is a different thing to a conference. We met. We shared stories without offering judgement or advice. Lots of the input was affirming and encouraging. By and large we know that our diocese needs some serious strategic leadership and cannot continue with clergy spread so thinly. We didn't need challenging.
We are a diocese with problems but we are at ease with ourselves. There is no constant bickering between the boys in black and the Hezbollah conservatives. Dog collars were not worn on day two. No-one seemed to have any issues sitting next to anyone else.
The boat was pushed out for a last night gala dinner and the Bishop of Taunton put wine on all the tables.
We took coffee in a separate room to our meal each evening with an amusing after-dinner speaker. This kept things light.
John Bell and Timothy Radcliffe were good main speakers full of earthed stories but taking biblical texts seriously enough not to upset evangelicals (I write as one who has largely ditched labels - you watch me for a bit and tell me what you think I am). OK, I heard of one who got annoyed (there's always one) and an archdeacon gave him (it's always him) a good listening to.
There was a flash mob. It included the Bishop of Taunton.
Every time I walk into Swanwick (after my ten years of conference organising at CPAS) I rejoice at not being in charge. I was on the planning group for the last diocesan conference in 2008. The centre is well-run and professional. Rooms are good.
Three gathering group sessions enabled us to share our stories and experiences with a smaller group.
There were no feedback forms to fill in. Feedback was asked for via a graffiti wall.
At three nights and two full days (Monday afternoon to Thursday lunchtime) it was long enough to get to know a few people and not feel guilty at sitting by them twice.
Most of the things were voluntary. If you want to refresh a gathering you have to be willing to let the gathering set the agenda and not impose one on them. No-one likes to be told 'Here is how you're going to relax.'
All this feels a bit thin by way of reasoning but that may simply mean the success is down to act of God, which wouldn't exactly be a bad thing.
The organising committee got one of the longest, and most heartfelt, rounds of applause I have experienced in thirty years of clergy conferences.
I can immediately think of one thing that wasn't as good as last time and two things that were dreadfully cringy but somehow these didn't matter. I may not mention them.
Let's have a go at why that was. In no particular order:
Having no diocesan bishop takes the pressure off people to show-off or have someone they are trying to impress. We were told, back in July, that it was hoped our new appointment might be sorted by the time of the gathering so we could at least hear the name used for the first time. This didn't happen and, apart from a few jokes (the absent bishop has been referred to as Bishop Kevin for a while now) was not mentioned. But it does make our diocese a place of hope and expectation.
The organising group went to some trouble to include everyone. There were quiet spaces and discussions, a very noisy multi-media Eucharist and a quiet spoken one, a lively bar (which now has real ale on hand-pump) and a saunter (a solo outdoor prayer walk), many symbolic acts in a closing Eucharist but also a poet in residence all week. We had some simple gifts in our rooms to welcome us and an A4 pad with logo and pen.
A gathering is a different thing to a conference. We met. We shared stories without offering judgement or advice. Lots of the input was affirming and encouraging. By and large we know that our diocese needs some serious strategic leadership and cannot continue with clergy spread so thinly. We didn't need challenging.
We are a diocese with problems but we are at ease with ourselves. There is no constant bickering between the boys in black and the Hezbollah conservatives. Dog collars were not worn on day two. No-one seemed to have any issues sitting next to anyone else.
The boat was pushed out for a last night gala dinner and the Bishop of Taunton put wine on all the tables.
We took coffee in a separate room to our meal each evening with an amusing after-dinner speaker. This kept things light.
John Bell and Timothy Radcliffe were good main speakers full of earthed stories but taking biblical texts seriously enough not to upset evangelicals (I write as one who has largely ditched labels - you watch me for a bit and tell me what you think I am). OK, I heard of one who got annoyed (there's always one) and an archdeacon gave him (it's always him) a good listening to.
There was a flash mob. It included the Bishop of Taunton.
Every time I walk into Swanwick (after my ten years of conference organising at CPAS) I rejoice at not being in charge. I was on the planning group for the last diocesan conference in 2008. The centre is well-run and professional. Rooms are good.
Three gathering group sessions enabled us to share our stories and experiences with a smaller group.
There were no feedback forms to fill in. Feedback was asked for via a graffiti wall.
At three nights and two full days (Monday afternoon to Thursday lunchtime) it was long enough to get to know a few people and not feel guilty at sitting by them twice.
Most of the things were voluntary. If you want to refresh a gathering you have to be willing to let the gathering set the agenda and not impose one on them. No-one likes to be told 'Here is how you're going to relax.'
All this feels a bit thin by way of reasoning but that may simply mean the success is down to act of God, which wouldn't exactly be a bad thing.
The organising committee got one of the longest, and most heartfelt, rounds of applause I have experienced in thirty years of clergy conferences.
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Poems with Matt's Help
At our diocesan clergy conference we have the wonderful Matt Harvey as poet in residence. In workshop he taught us the Norse art of kenning - describing a physical object in terms of its properties, abilities, attainments or effects. So the sea becomes the whale-road; blood is battle-dew.
This allows you to write a descriptive piece where the identity of the thing being described can be a riddle; a slow reveal. My first effort, slightly refiined and re-ordered this morning is:
Wake-up bomb
Sleep's sworn enemy
Dawn cheek slap
Mainly future compost
Vitamin transport device
Controlled acid attack
Ornamental bowl-filler
Cowardly citrus
Big brother to that pipsqueak lemon
Best wild but
Tamed by sugar
Secondly he demonstrated biographical poetry. Statements about your past build up a picture of who you are today. This could be very long but editing it to a few lines makes the gaps interesting. So mine is work in progress but:
I come from...
A Victorian house with a derelict top floor
An untidy play room and an accusation that I break everything
A family where university hadn't yet happened
Reading on the bedroom floor to be nearer the disappointing electric heater so
Under an eiderdown
I come from...
Grandma's mantelpiece ornaments
A punch in the face on the way home from school
Aunty Brenda lived with us
Don't you have an Aunty Brenda?
I come from...
A garden with two apple trees as goalposts
And a potting shed full off disuse but playful possibility
Creativity launched by broken garden tools re-imagined
And the garage had a pit
I come from...
107, Oakfield Road, Selly Park, Birmingham, Warwickshire, England, Europe, The earth 3rd planet from the sun if this book should chance to roam box its ears and send it home
I come from...
A house with no music
But they bought me a piano and let me paint it blue
This allows you to write a descriptive piece where the identity of the thing being described can be a riddle; a slow reveal. My first effort, slightly refiined and re-ordered this morning is:
Wake-up bomb
Sleep's sworn enemy
Dawn cheek slap
Mainly future compost
Vitamin transport device
Controlled acid attack
Ornamental bowl-filler
Cowardly citrus
Big brother to that pipsqueak lemon
Best wild but
Tamed by sugar
Secondly he demonstrated biographical poetry. Statements about your past build up a picture of who you are today. This could be very long but editing it to a few lines makes the gaps interesting. So mine is work in progress but:
I come from...
A Victorian house with a derelict top floor
An untidy play room and an accusation that I break everything
A family where university hadn't yet happened
Reading on the bedroom floor to be nearer the disappointing electric heater so
Under an eiderdown
I come from...
Grandma's mantelpiece ornaments
A punch in the face on the way home from school
Aunty Brenda lived with us
Don't you have an Aunty Brenda?
I come from...
A garden with two apple trees as goalposts
And a potting shed full off disuse but playful possibility
Creativity launched by broken garden tools re-imagined
And the garage had a pit
I come from...
107, Oakfield Road, Selly Park, Birmingham, Warwickshire, England, Europe, The earth 3rd planet from the sun if this book should chance to roam box its ears and send it home
I come from...
A house with no music
But they bought me a piano and let me paint it blue
Saturday, November 23, 2013
Language and Victims
Rape is rape. The rapist is to blame. Don't blame the victim.
I became embroiled, although I probably embroiled myself, in a conversation about rape. The only question I wanted to ask was whether those advocating that victim blaming should stop - discussions about rape, they allege, almost always end in blaming the victim - felt that there were steps people ought to take to minimise the possibility of the crime of rape.
Rape is rape. The rapist is to blame. Don't blame the victim.
I don't feel that the emotive nature of the subject led to a sensible discussion. But I did feel that those women who took part wanted, in effect, to say that any conversation about taking steps to minimise the possibility of rape is victim blaming. They may be right. I don't know.
Rape is rape. The rapist is to blame. Don't blame the victim.
It feels as if the only possible contribution to this discussion as a man is to keep repeating:
Rape is rape. The rapist is to blame. Don't blame the victim.
With the possible addition of 'Men, don't commit rape.'
Is that true? Don't get me wrong. I don't buy the argument that any behaviour by a woman contributes to the crime. No, is no. Whenever delivered. Stop means stop. Go away means go away. I get that.
Rape is rape. The rapist is to blame. Don't blame the victim.
But is it possible to have a sensible conversation about steps people ought to take to minimise the possibility of the crime of rape without being accused of victim blaming? It feels like it isn't.
We are getting to a dangerous state in our public life. It is not easy to have a realistic discussion about drugs unless you denounce them every other sentence. You are seen as a dangerous liberal. Likewise after any tragedy you'd better start your response with a statement of condolence for the victims, even if that means we have to waste half our discussion time with a repeated message of sympathy from every contributor.
Is it not possible to take it as read that I condemn rape and rapists, want to ensure the safest possible life given the presence of drugs and offer my condolence and respect to victims and sufferers without having to repeat these things as a mantra every time I open my mouth?
I am probably, although hopefully accidentally, racist, sexist and just about every other 'ist going. Might you help me by having a conversation with me without immediately condemning me? Fact is that saying 'Don't commit crime' hasn't really worked out. It doesn't mean you should commit crime but can we have a chat about it without the opprobrium that often hangs around?
Rape is rape. The rapist is to blame. Don't blame the victim.
I drafted this a few days ago but have just heard a talk in which Timothy Radcliffe said, of leadership, that '...if you never do anything that can be misunderstood you will never do anything remotely interesting.'
Being misunderstood recently has been very hard to bear, but it seems that is the tax to be paid on being involved in the world rather than seeing it as spectator sport.
I became embroiled, although I probably embroiled myself, in a conversation about rape. The only question I wanted to ask was whether those advocating that victim blaming should stop - discussions about rape, they allege, almost always end in blaming the victim - felt that there were steps people ought to take to minimise the possibility of the crime of rape.
Rape is rape. The rapist is to blame. Don't blame the victim.
I don't feel that the emotive nature of the subject led to a sensible discussion. But I did feel that those women who took part wanted, in effect, to say that any conversation about taking steps to minimise the possibility of rape is victim blaming. They may be right. I don't know.
Rape is rape. The rapist is to blame. Don't blame the victim.
It feels as if the only possible contribution to this discussion as a man is to keep repeating:
Rape is rape. The rapist is to blame. Don't blame the victim.
With the possible addition of 'Men, don't commit rape.'
Is that true? Don't get me wrong. I don't buy the argument that any behaviour by a woman contributes to the crime. No, is no. Whenever delivered. Stop means stop. Go away means go away. I get that.
Rape is rape. The rapist is to blame. Don't blame the victim.
But is it possible to have a sensible conversation about steps people ought to take to minimise the possibility of the crime of rape without being accused of victim blaming? It feels like it isn't.
We are getting to a dangerous state in our public life. It is not easy to have a realistic discussion about drugs unless you denounce them every other sentence. You are seen as a dangerous liberal. Likewise after any tragedy you'd better start your response with a statement of condolence for the victims, even if that means we have to waste half our discussion time with a repeated message of sympathy from every contributor.
Is it not possible to take it as read that I condemn rape and rapists, want to ensure the safest possible life given the presence of drugs and offer my condolence and respect to victims and sufferers without having to repeat these things as a mantra every time I open my mouth?
I am probably, although hopefully accidentally, racist, sexist and just about every other 'ist going. Might you help me by having a conversation with me without immediately condemning me? Fact is that saying 'Don't commit crime' hasn't really worked out. It doesn't mean you should commit crime but can we have a chat about it without the opprobrium that often hangs around?
Rape is rape. The rapist is to blame. Don't blame the victim.
I drafted this a few days ago but have just heard a talk in which Timothy Radcliffe said, of leadership, that '...if you never do anything that can be misunderstood you will never do anything remotely interesting.'
Being misunderstood recently has been very hard to bear, but it seems that is the tax to be paid on being involved in the world rather than seeing it as spectator sport.
Thursday, November 21, 2013
Rape is rape; the rapist is the problem not the victim
Publicity for the new campaign, that the rapist is always responsible and to blame for a rape, was widespread today. I agree with it utterly and wholeheartedly but wondered if, notwithstanding this, there was any discussion to be had about taking steps to minimise risks.
The Twitter discussion which followed, which I set out below, is one from which I have now withdrawn as I feel I may accidentally say something which will cost me my job or jeopardise my ability to do it well.
Some of the comments really hurt but I'm vulnerable and open to feedback on the correspondence. I learn best if disagreements are phrased gently and on the basis that I am trying to learn, not that I would dream of telling anyone how to comment:
8.16
@EyeEdinburgh @bbcrb absolutely agree. But is there never wisdom in taking action to keep yourself safe?
8.29
@s1eve @bbcrb Unfortunately, there is no reasonable action a woman can take to ensure she is never in the presence of a rapist.
@s1eve @bbcrb You see, while perhaps only one in twenty men are rapists, rapist men look exactly like other non-rapist men. #rapeculture
@EyeEdinburgh @s1eve @bbcrb so, I assume we should close all banks because they’re just begging to be robbed…
@sarahluv81 @s1eve @bbcrb this is the key. Women trust men who believe this shît, so it’s the MEN’S attitude that has to change
@s1eve @EyeEdinburgh @bbcrb unfortunately, there is no magic solution to that. Never leave home? Rapes happen there too.
@EyeEdinburgh @bbcrb this is all very helpful. Thank you. Is there any 'reasonable' action a woman can take to minimise the danger?
@s1eve @bbcrb Sure. Tell men like you to stop talking as if women are to blame for being raped. That's reasonable, isn't it? #rapeculture
@s1eve @bbcrb The unreasonable action that every woman knows about it that we assume every man is a potential rapist. http://kateharding.net/2009/10/08/guest-blogger-starling-schrodinger%E2%80%99s-rapist-or-a-guy%E2%80%99s-guide-to-approaching-strange-women-without-being-maced/ …
@s1eve I accept you didn't mean it, but talking as if it were up to us to avoid"risk of rape"not men to avoid being rapists is victimblaming
The Twitter discussion which followed, which I set out below, is one from which I have now withdrawn as I feel I may accidentally say something which will cost me my job or jeopardise my ability to do it well.
Some of the comments really hurt but I'm vulnerable and open to feedback on the correspondence. I learn best if disagreements are phrased gently and on the basis that I am trying to learn, not that I would dream of telling anyone how to comment:
7.02
Is a victim of rape ever to blame for being attacked? Posters put up around Bristol from today say they're not. pic.twitter.com/z3zhaKGl94
7.42
If you leave your car unlocked and an iPad is stolen from the back seat the theft is not your fault but you could have prevented it. @bbcrb
7.58
Women are not cars or iPads. Rape is a crime of violence, not theft. The attacker, not the attacked, is to blame. @s1eve @bbcrb #rapeculture
8.16
8.29
8.30
9.02
9.19
9.21
9.29
9.47
9.49
9.51
10.22
10.34
2.48
Put my head above the parapet of a #rapeculture discussion earlier. Very tough place to hang out given the subject but found it helpful.
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
A Twitter Discussion
Yesterday morning Bishop Pete Broadbent posted a Twitter link to a blog post he had written which included a paragraph - twenty quick fixes the Church of England could do now. I read it and thought it was rather good. I re-tweeted it.
I then spent the day, on and off, in a discussion with some people who didn't think it was very good. I've been struggling to understand their position ever since. You will see from the correspondence, which I am going to have a go at transcribing below, that at one point I got a bit frustrated and gave a silly answer to a silly question.
If you want to follow it you really have no choice but to read the Broadbent post first. It is here and point eight is the key one with the twenty ideas listed. If anyone wants any of the initialisms explained please leave a comment. BMO is Bishop's Mission Order.
@therevsteve Really? I didn't feel bashed by it. What hurt?
@s1eve Comments more than article, but @petespurs handed out the ammo with remark on "under performing" clergy needing to be got rid of.
@therevsteve @petespurs you want to keep the under-performers?
@s1eve you point them out to me and then let's discuss it... @petespurs
@therevsteve @petespurs I am not in a position to review clergy performance. But a bishop is.
@s1eve I don't think a Bishop has any more idea of what "performance" means for clergy than I do, except by the crudest measures @petespurs
@therevsteve @s1eve @petespurs Oh I expect there'll be lots of 'performance markers' like running Alpha courses and Messy Churches
@revpamsmith @therevsteve @s1eve @petespurs How about celebrating the Eucharist, baptizing people, and preaching sermons? #parish
@liambeadle Yes, but *good* sermons or poor ones? We are judging *performance* here, not just activity... @revpamsmith @s1eve @petespurs
@revpamsmith @therevsteve @petespurs I think knickers are being twisted here. If you take an ontological view of priesthood OK. I don't.
@s1eve I take a very *un*-ontological view! Still don't think clergy performance can be measured meaningfully. @revpamsmith @petespurs
@s1eve Yes, you can measure *activity* but anything beyond that is either subjective or spurious @revpamsmith @petespurs
@therevsteve @revpamsmith @petespurs hope it isn't me making you angry, but ontological view cannot easily be counted. Functional can.
@s1eve No, not you! What measures of clergy performance would you use & how assess contribution of congregation(s)? @revpamsmith @petespurs
@therevsteve @revpamsmith @petespurs anything that can be counted. It's all we got. 360 performance review and detailed report & discussion.
@s1eve @therevsteve @petespurs Measuring performance indicators ALWAYS makes people skew workload towards what's being measured
@s1eve @therevsteve @petespurs So in this model an 'activist' concept of ministry takes precedent over any other form of priesthood
@s1eve @therevsteve @petespurs That may work if you can afford to pay for absolutely all ministry, if you can't, it's cloud cuckoo land
@revpamsmith @therevsteve @petespurs you measure as much as possible. Maybe 'more people seeking opportunities for quiet and sacred space.'
@s1eve @therevsteve @petespurs Measurements like that are fairly easy to game (sic) - saw it in prison chaplaincy where regime hours are measured
@revpamsmith @therevsteve @petespurs Pam is there any sense in which you feel people should be held to account? Professionals or volunteers?
@revpamsmith @therevsteve @petespurs You have had to cope with a lot of review in your life and have been wounded by it?
@s1eve @therevsteve @petespurs Do you normally assume people who disagree with you are either ignorant or psychologically unstable?
@revpamsmith @therevsteve @petespurs but reading back through today I haven't disagreed with anyone, just asked questions.
@s1eve @therevsteve @revpamsmith @petespurs I'm going to wade in. There are more ways to evaluate than counting the quantifiable.
@s1eve @therevsteve @revpamsmith @petespurs we've known the value of qualitative, narrative evaluation for long time in youthwork.
9.12
@s1eve @therevsteve @revpamsmith @petespurs appraisls and reviews drew heavily on case study, story, 'distance traveled', not just counting.
I then spent the day, on and off, in a discussion with some people who didn't think it was very good. I've been struggling to understand their position ever since. You will see from the correspondence, which I am going to have a go at transcribing below, that at one point I got a bit frustrated and gave a silly answer to a silly question.
If you want to follow it you really have no choice but to read the Broadbent post first. It is here and point eight is the key one with the twenty ideas listed. If anyone wants any of the initialisms explained please leave a comment. BMO is Bishop's Mission Order.
'Twenty quick hits to change the #CofE' by Bp of Willesden, Pete Broadbent @petespurs. #strategic
http://bishopofwillesden.blogspot.co.uk/2013/11/twenty-quick-hits-to-change-cofe.html …
http://bishopofwillesden.blogspot.co.uk/2013/11/twenty-quick-hits-to-change-cofe.html …
12.12
12.15
12.27
12.51
1.34
3.06
3.08
.@s1eve The clergy role is simply not one to which the word "performance" applies in any sensible way @petespurs
3.08
3.11
3.11
(I think this means 'Which bishop is in a position to review? - ed)
3.12
3.13
3.15
3.16
4.12
(Ontological meaning it is more about being than doing, the opposite of which would be a functional view - ed)
4.17
4.20
4.24
4.30
4.34
6.00
6.01
6.06
6.14
7.26
7.32
(Her bio on Twitter says:)
Virtual vicar. Ex prison chaplain, teacher, health service. Into politics, TV, socmedia. Will follow back, but don't auto follow. I unfollow trolls.
7.54
8.00
8.12
8.13
8.21
It's hard to follow Twitter streams without a hashtag. Later I will the (sic) to transcribe yesterday's conversation and post it to blog for you.
8.40
9.03
9.10
9.12
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