Thought for the Day

So, after five years and 130 thoughts the gang at BBC Radio Bristol gave me some theme music, although it was in homage to the very poorly Aretha Franklin. Still, I felt welcomed. Today's thought:

Some cyclists and some pedestrians not playing nicely eh? What to do?

Do we heed the advice of the Bible, which calls us to be slow to anger?

Yesterday I was behind a very large lorry which, presumably due to a satnav error, was on a single track road where the passing places were too small to allow anyone by. Through the power of telepathy and reversing lights the whole queue, including the lorry, squeezed back up to allow the oncoming traffic past. In the midst of this one car, without thought for the possible cause of the delay, overtook the whole line of stationary traffic and then had to do a long backtrack of shame, avoiding eye contact with all of us smug drivers who had been patient.

Earlier I had been driving along another lane when I came up behind a pedestrian. My car runs quietly but I was amazed he hadn't heard me. Then I saw the headphones. I contemplated a toot on the horn but chose instead to move closer and rev louder. Vicars really should be good at revving. The guy noticed and stood on the verge. I drove by. We both waved and chuckled.

This is not simply to demonstrate what a fine member of the community I am. Anyway, I have a radio slot to tell my stories, which is one way of not getting angry.

I am telling you this because your anger is in your control. Stupid cyclist / pedestrian or not, never say 'You made me so mad'. They may have irritated you but your anger is not in their gift. And saying it is, is to give the other person too much power.

Thought for the Day

As delivered at BBC Radio Bristol this morning on Breakfast with Emma Britton:

I enjoyed spending some time with my two sons over Christmas. They rarely fail to make me laugh. Don't tell them. We keep our relationship strictly sarcastic. Occasional guests at our Christmas table find our conversation complex. It's rudeness without throwing things and never gets out of hand.

At one point a rather cringe-worthy conversation developed in which Mrs Tilley and I found ourselves having our parenting skills critiqued.

Turns out that, when watching our boys play football, we were embarrassing parents. The summary of our ability to encourage was that we stood on the touchline and shouted, perhaps too loudly, 'Play better'.

Getting advice about your parenting twenty five years too late isn't that helpful, although I pass it on for the benefit of those of you who still have relationships to fix.

Our view of God can be pretty similar. He stands on the sidelines looking at our lives and we occasionally hear him shout:

Do better.

Be cleverer.

Act wiser.

Many of the items in the news today are not things we can do anything about. The weather. Celestial displays. A motorway closure to move a large aeroplane.

But maybe we can react better, cleverer and wiser.

We have finished our annual rehearsal of the great Christmas stories of the Christian tradition. But one theme is worth taking on with us into the new year. How will you react when news is unusual or unexpected?

The year to come will present unique opportunities to strain our patience. If you don't feel up to responding to the challenge, the truth is that God is down to it. And of course BBC Radio Bristol is here to hold your hand on the journey. No pressure Emma. No pressure.

Quote Book Index 200-210

From the late Mark Ashton's Christian Youth Work, a seminal work from the mid-eighties with principles that will never change (although the context of examples is dated). Worth reading for the prophetic nature of some of his writing, and quotes such as this one:

207. Our civilisation is '...creating adults who don't know what to do with delay, discomfort, discouragement and disillusionment.' (Quoting Ronald Hutchcraft)

Appearances, Judgement and Book Preview

A woman stood in front of me at the check-out queue yesterday. She was maybe mid to late thirties. She had a boy of about eight or nine with her. She was not engaging with him particularly. He appeared bored.

She had placed her shopping on the conveyor but not the marker (what is that thing called?) to separate her shopping from the next customer's (mine). She stood in the wrong place so I couldn't easily start unloading my shopping.

'That is a selfish woman' I said to myself. She had given me three examples of it already. I found myself praying for her.

She had brought no bags with her (4). I followed her out (coincidentally, I'm not a stalker) and she was driving a huge gas-guzzler (5).

We pulled out of our spaces at the same time. She drove too fast across the car park (6).

My prejudices affirmed totally.

I recalled I had written this earlier in the week under the heading 'murder.'

... to observe the aggressive, angry, frustrated people we encounter day by day there must be something tragically wrong. Why do we become so intolerant when we get behind the wheel of a car or the guidance system of a supermarket trolley? Do people genuinely think that 'me first' is a more reliable route to a happy life than 'after you?' You would think that 'You shall not murder' had become the only rule with all steps stopping short of it being acceptable.

People tell me I am a patient person. I have many faults but I do manage to stay calm and not rush things by and large. The opposite of patience is not impatience but anger.

At a large supermarket in Arnold in Nottingham the car park, in the 1980s was roof-top. It was above the store. One had no idea how full the car park was without driving up the ramp to find out. The biggest frustration of my life was when, doing the weekly shop, I drove up the ramp in a procession of cars only to discover that it had become full and the queue of traffic to get in now reached back to the ramp. The ramp was too narrow to allow a u-turn so if there was a car behind there was no alternative. You were there for the duration. You had to wait for a space to appear. This could take a long time. I resolved one day when I was particularly stewed about something that I would simply observe, listen and enjoy my car radio, or the space to think. I can't begin to explain how many ideas for sermons I had from that day on in the queue. Problems got solved. Projects were hatched. My blood pressure went down.

There have been several changes in my life since then one of which is to shop daily rather than weekly and to do it on foot if at all possible. That way I maximise the number of people I bump into. It is better pastorally. But it is wonderful to enjoy thinking time provided by a late visitor, a traffic jam or a delayed train. You can't do anything about it so why not settle down into it. Certainly don't harbour resentment against someone who jumps the queue. Let them in with a cheerful wave, pray for them and give thanks for your more enlightened approach to life.

I don't always take my own advice. But I try to.