Decorating Vicarages

How much care does the Church of England take over its housing stock? I have lived in tied housing for seventeen years of my ministry so have a few insights.

The quinquennial system, a five-yearly survey, ensures that properties are maintained to a reasonable standard. They are provided unfurnished although some properties include an office/study with some church stuff in it.

We used to be provided with a cooker but I don't think this is the case any more. I will find out soon as my cooker, an intrinsic part of a fitted kitchen, is near the end of its life.

I have found that work identified by the quinquennial is carried out promptly. I have also found that any safety issues are tackled quickly too. Blocked drains, leaning walls and sharp-edges have all been rapidly fixed.

But there are gaps. My vicarage has under-cupboard lights. They kept blowing the bulbs and an electrician advised replacing them. My diocesan property department told me they took no responsibility for such lights. So I replaced them at my own expense, saving me money on bulbs but also investing in a property I do not own. It would be churlish of me to refit the dodgy lights when I leave; but I would be quite entitled to.

And so to decoration. This is left to the parish and incumbent. Generously, local churches often redecorate houses between occupants. Mine had three or four rooms plus the hall etc painted in 2006. The Diocese have a small budget (£60 a year) to cover materials, which is great if the house is occupied by people who have plenty of free-time to decorate.

Three problems:

1. Most parishioner decorating is competent but not thorough. Doors are not sanded and refitted. Radiators not removed to paint behind. Walls not properly cleaned, primed and prepared. My pre-moving-in gang did quite well but they are unusual.

2. Houses with a quick throughput of ministers get redecorated more often than the long-stay versions.

3. A professional quote for hall, stairs and landing has seen three workers in my house for seven days. This cost is outside the scope of most clergy and also involves a substantial investment that cannot be withdrawn on leaving.

So I just wonder if there isn't a way to maintain the interior of a vicarage better without incumbent expense?

Busyness

I think it was the post about Morley that got me there but my mind went back to about 1999 and a few trips round the country with Bob, trying to find a site for our CYFA Venture.

We visited one school where we were told to wait for the bursar in his office. In the 1980s there was a time when a colour scheme was thought more important than a pattern theme so it was not unusual for striped wallpaper above a dado rail to have, say, spotted paper in the same colours, below.

This office was decorated thus and we sat facing a wall of dark blue and white stripes and spots. When the bursar came in he was wearing a blue and white striped shirt and a rugby club tie. The sun through the windows behind us was bright. For the next 45 minutes Bob and I could only see him when he moved and it made us sick. I have tried to forget the experience because it can still bring on a migraine.

We din't use that school. Had the bursar died in post it would have taken several days for anyone to find the body.

Retreat Houses

As Mike and I sat in Morley Rectory this week we took a moment or two to gaze round the room we had been given in which to meet. Since the aim of most people in a retreat house is to get away from busyness it seemed remarkable to us that the room was so, well, busy. Striped wallpaper (I'm not normally averse to blue and white stripes as you know, long-suffering followers) over orange/brown carpets next to three or four differently patterned comfy chairs and sofas. Walls had shelves with an array of old books and some ornaments.

Mike said, rightly, that even if you didn't know where you were you'd know you were in an Anglican retreat house. He's right. We call, jointly (although I haven't told him yet), on retreat houses to declutter.