Never Work With...

I recruited a child to help me in church today. The job was to pick up an old book and tell us as much about it as possible. The book was my old school dictionary. I asked if there was any clue as to who it might belong to and, as hoped, the name in the front 'J.S.Tilley' confused him.

I explained that it was me and did he have any idea what the 'J' might stand for?

Clear as a bell everyone heard him say 'Well we know it can't be Jesus'. And somehow everyone was looking at me and they knew why it couldn't be and it was nothing to do with nomenclature.

Laughter subsided after about ten minutes.

The point of the illustration is no longer relevant.

Out of the Mouths...

They say that when you are least equipped to do things yourself is when God can use you. I'm not sure I'd work that up into a thesis for lack of preparation. But yesterday, after losing my entire planning day on Saturday for family medical reasons (friends will find the answer on Facebook), we had one of the best Andy's services ever.

Andy's is a monthly congregation plant; a co-operation between Trendlewood Church and St Andrew's, Backwell. It is aimed at families, at people with no faith, some flickering faith or lapsed faith.

Yesterday we were launching a new style using Scripture Union's Explore Together material. We had the highest attendance since we launched in 2014. There were 50 adults and 27 children. This is a fabulous ratio and many churches would be envious.

Andy's is always slightly chaotic and that is what gives it character. We went through an hour of worship, prayer, learning in groups and feedback. We launched the Alpha Course starting on 25th January. We used four of the suggested groups:

• Listen (in which I preached - surprisingly popular)
• Chat (a discussion group)
• Quiet (wander and ponder)
• Busy (in which we respond to the passage with drawing, modelling and building, chatting the while)

It felt extraordinarily warm.

We had a lovely moment at the end. After the notices I asked if anyone had anything else important to say.

Now, over Christmas, Andy's people made a nativity scene which was placed in a disused phone box. It got a little media attention. The children made sheep using the materials with which teachers will be familiar. They were squashed together in a box now. I had invited anyone who had made anything they wanted to keep to go and get it after the service.

So one of our younger members said this:

'I made a sheep before Christmas and I want it back but I don't know which one it is.'

'What a a brilliant question' I said, stalling for thinking time.

Eventually we decided that anyone who could identify a sheep they wanted should get it within ten minutes of the end of the service after which my enquirer could choose her favourite one to take home. Everyone was happy with this. They didn't teach the wisdom of Solomon at vicar school; this stuff takes thirty years of ministry.

 We re-united a baby Jesus with its donor family, which felt right and proper.

If you live in the Backwell area and fancy joining in with this slightly unusual way of doing church, we meet at the school Sixth Form Centre on the second Sunday of the month. Why drive ten miles to go to church when there is one down the road?

Go on-line to sign up for Alpha.

Thought for the Day

As delivered on BBC Radio Bristol's Breakfast Show an hour ago:

When I moved to the area ten years ago I realised that I had spent a lot of my previous time with younger adults. Most of my friends were my juniors.

It came as a shock to the system to mix with people my age. I found it a bit dull at first.

In the Book of Deuteronomy in the Hebrew Bible; what Christians call the Old Testament, we read:

'Remember my words. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.'

But later we read of a young man called Elihu, in the Book of Job. He says:

'It is not only the old who are wise, not only the aged who understand what is right.'

I was interested in the story about children from Beckett Hall Nursery regularly visiting Osborne Court Care Home. In fact I am interested in any gathering where we manage to avoid generational groupings.

Churches are pretty remarkable places for this. There are some that have lost touch with younger members but many have not and good dialogue between young and old happens week by week.

At Trendlewood Church in Nailsea, where you find me most Sundays, our youngest member is six months old and our oldest over eighty. At Andy's Church in Backwell, a new project I am involved in, last Sunday's attendance was 30 adults and 34 children.

Remember from your childhood the adult who was always pleased to see you, never judgemental and a huge support in all you did. They were probably called Grandma or Grandpa.

So lets see if we can increase the opportunities for young and old to mix and build on the imaginative work of one nursery and one care home. Well done.

Off with my head...

Forgive me but...

Would it be a great stretch of the imagination to guess that somewhere on the Mediterranean today, in a crowded boat of asylum seekers, a woman gave birth to a baby, salty water the only aid to hygiene.

And maybe in some deprived inner-city area across the world the words of Elvis remain true as child number six arrived:

For if there's one thing that she don't need
It's another hungry mouth to feed
In the ghetto

And perhaps somewhere on a Nepalese mountainside a mother gave birth to a healthy daughter just days after she lost her other children, crushed under rubble.

And also, somewhere on the continent of Africa, a child was born with HIV because the retroviral drugs necessary were simply not available to a family of their means.

And the world's press concentrates its energy on a child the least likely, of any child born anywhere in the world today, to come to harm.

I wish the royal family and new daughter well, but really...

Quote of the Day

1186. We think the purpose of a child is to grow up because it does grow up. But its purpose is to play, to enjoy itself, to be a child. If we merely look at the end of the process, the purpose of life is death.
(Alexander Herzen, quoted by Edward St Aubyn in 'Mother's Milk')

Quote of the Day

I love the late Frank Zappa. He produced a huge range of styles of music and thus has a back catalogue it is almost impossible to tire of. What is less well known is what an interesting interviewee he was, once he was pinned down to a proper conversation:

966. The more boring a child is, the more the parents, when showing off the child, receive adulation for being good parents - because they have a tame child-creature in their home.
(The Guardian, 'Family' 29/7/06)

Monday Thoughts

The late, great John Arlott was commentating on a cricket match towards the end of the day and was becoming grumpy at his co-commentators constant reminder that the sun was setting in the west. Arlott announced, 'The ball is taken by the wicket-keeper, there's no run, the sun continues to set in the west and, should it choose to set in any other place, you dear listeners will be the first to know.'

It was a reminder of the first rule of journalism - it is a story only if it is out of the ordinary. Man bites dog is far more interesting than dog bites man.

The second rule of journalism is to check sources. Which is why it is a joy and delight to learn that the story in the Church Times last week about church jumble sales not being allowed to sell product in re-used jam jars, turns out (due to Andrew Graystone's work checking) to have been a delightful spoof.

'Church takes a while to get appointment of Archbishop right' is a current non-story out of which some people are trying to get news. Sometimes, the Bible tells us, there should be nothing better to do than wait, hope, rest and pray.

But here is some news to ponder. A chat with a friend at a party the other night threw up this conundrum - is it OK to go off with a stranger if you are a child? If it is not (and tragically it seems that April Jones went off with someone she knew) then why was it OK, when the hunt was still for a missing girl, for thousands of strangers to turn up to help look for her? How do we work out the rules to teach our kids?

A jumble of thoughts today. Probably because it's last week's day off taken a bit late. Chill time.

CRB checks

I totally approve of CRB (Criminal records Bureau) checks and have become very good at filling in the documentation accurately. Working for a local church, CYFA and Ventures I have become used to more and more forms to fill in as the years progressed.

This year, with several job applications to pursue, I have broken my annual record for form-filling. Many dioceses of the Church of England get all applicants to fill in the forms and then promise to shred the papers of the unsuccesful.

No problem. But then I thought back a few weeks. Remember this post?

I ws invited, by a friend, to help run writing skills classes for 7-9 year olds. The workshops were all run in the company of two or three teachers, but at lunchtime, as all the children sat on a sunny, grassy bank watching the entertainment, I went and spoke to them. Now I have nothing to hide. I like children and it seems to me that on a day helping children with writing it was good to get to know them, chat to them and eat my lunch with them.

As I am aware of the need to be open I made sure teachers saw me doing this.

But I didn't have to and it would have been so easy, had I been so minded, to accompany children who were separating themselves from the crowd for whatever reason (say going to the toilet). Did I have to fill out a CRB check to do this day? No. And I have been asked back.

We may be in danger of filling in the cracks and overlooking the holes.

The Kings Club

Well it was great. Brilliantly organised and well run. Children all seemed really happy and I even saw one of our chief rascals, lad with the concentration span of a whatever, help someone up when they fell down. This was the same lad who found the only sticking-out nail in the whole of the church complex on Tuesday and cut himself on it. We reckon he must have been upside down under a pew when it happened.

But where do we stand on the whole teaching children the faith thing? For me my faith is such an amazingly wobbly journey that I feel very uncomfortable when we teach children biblical stories as certainty. I kept quietish about my qualms whilst at CPAS out of respect for Penny Frank and her Children's Evangelism Campaign. She will say children have just as much right as adults to hear the truth of the gospel. I don't think they should be told it is truth until they are old enough to understand what sort of truth it is.

And what about the fact that when they remember this holiday club they will remember the Mediaeval Castle not the King of it. This despite:

Who is the king?
Jesus.
There's nobody there; they must have gone home.
Who is the king?
Jesus (plaster flakes, dust descends from ancient rafters)
No, I still can't hear. Who is the king?
Jesus (apocalyptic foundation shaking and severe damage to hearing).
Oh, Jesus.

One lad told me he had enjoyed our Detective Agency (2 years ago) and our Pirate Adventure (last year). That was what he remembered.

Will a little deception hurt him? As one leader said to me, if all they remember in a few weeks time is that church is a fun place to be that will be fine by him. Amen to that. Let's not worry too much about saving those who are not yet lost.