Advent Thought 4

A short break from gripping glimpses of our beautiful home. There are many benefits to being the vicar of a church without a building. But every now and again our home is the only place where something that needs doing co-operatively can be done.

We have been collecting food and small items in order to make a gift of a hamper to all our local CAP (Christians Against Poverty) clients who have been accepting help with debt management. Those who have committed to an austere Christmas as part of becoming debt-free get a little light in their lives. It's a great thing to do.

Tonight our conservatory becomes the hamper-packing zone (I'm out for the night; TCMT is in charge).

Even in one of the wealthiest parishes in the south-west there are folk who need rescue. And they have done the hard thing. They have picked up a phone and said, 'Can you help me; I'm in a mess'. I had to do that once and was treated well. I've never forgotten.

If you're in a mess ask for help. If you can help, help. Harder than it sounds.

(The basket full of corks is nothing to do with this.)

Thought for the Day

As delivered at BBC Radio Bristol this morning. One or two changes on delivery to fit in with daily theme and running joke:

Jesus once told a crowd, in Matthew's version of the story, that they should give to the needy in secret. They should not, he added, seek publicity for their good works.

Charity bobble hats. Friends for parents volunteers. Britton's Big Night Out. Three of today's four key stories involve giving in some way.

How do you decide how much to give away? And to whom do you give it?

Those are, of course, entirely your personal decisions.

I had a letter to our church this week from an organisation we used to support. But we've made a conscious, and I think very good, decision, to give more money to fewer causes. So our money really makes a difference. When the Trendlewood Church Council deliberates on these things we are all very much aware that we are giving away other people's money. And the Church itself is a charity, its Council are the Trustees and we have to act wisely and sensibly. But the letter tore at my heart strings. As do the films on Sports Relief, Comic Relief and Children in Need days.

As someone who feels guilty walking past the Big Issue seller I am not unaware of the issues.

A wise mentor, many years ago, suggested to me that we should all live off 90% of what we earn and give the rest away. If you start early then all you do is take only 90% of every pay rise.

The Bible suggests we should give joyfully. I once read that a better translation of the Greek word there would be 'hilariously'.

So my thought. Hang light to money. Use it to bless others if you can. And try not to show off about it.

Advent Thought 16 and Cash

Share it fairly but don't take a slice of my pie. Yeah, money sure makes the world go round, but can't buy me love (that's three if you're keeping up).

I don't care too much for money. I like having enough to be able to be generous with it. I tend to do that rather than save it for a rainy day so I am not very good at providing for my future at the expense of somebody else's present.

In 1973 my first month's pay-cheque was £63. I noticed that my colleague, who had been at the company two years, got £100. It seemed like a fortune.

I gave some money to my parents for my keep, lived pretty well socially and saved enough for a mortgage deposit in four years. If you had told me that one day my net salary would be £1800 and I wouldn't have risen to seniority at that employer I would have laughed at you.

We moved from Advent hymns to carols yesterday. And we had some Christmas readings.  It is hard to pick the Victorian parenting advice from the theology. Even harder to pick the history from the myth in the readings.

What we can do is dwell on the things put on the lips of the characters by the gospel authors and ask ourselves why. Why does Mary say 'Let it be to me as you have said.' Because the response to God's message at Christmas, angel-deliveroo or dawning realisation, is obedience.

Whatever circumstances you find yourselves in, even as weird as being with child without the fun of conception, accept that it is you, you are here and it is your circumstance. You probably won't be able to move on until you have settled into being the you to whom it must be.

Maybe choose one begger not to ignore today. It could have been you.

And that was much deeper than Monday morning 7.00 a.m. was ever meant to be, I'm sure. Lot's to hold in your heart and ponder. Have a good day.

Thought for the Day

As delivered at BBC Radio Bristol this morning, with answers to the music quiz as a footnote:

1. If I were a wealthy man I wouldn't have to work hard.

2. It's all about the money, money, money

3. Money, money, money in a rich man's world

4. It makes the world go round.

5. Share it fairly but don't take a slice of my pie.

6. Pay the butcher. Pay the baker. Pay the taxman. Pay me later.

Well that's enough shameless demonstration of pop lyrics. I'll blog the answers later. Well done if you got all six.

But today's stories on BBC Radio Bristol are incredibly cash-centric. What should your Council Tax buy? How much should you be fined for parking offences? And where does that money go? How do you raise enough money to say a proper thank-you to a hospital for saving a child's life?

At my local church I try to preach on money no more than once a year. It's at the end of November if you want to avoid it. But then, if people don't respond generously - and I'm happy to say they usually do - it would be remiss of me to wait until next November to mention it. Of course, if I do, someone will say 'You're always going on about money'.

And maybe that's the thing. It is all about the money. About a sensible discussion concerning what my taxes should buy and what I can choose to spend the rest on.

The Bible says surprisingly little about money but it usually describes it negatively aware, as one verse says, that it is a root of all kinds of evil. No. The Bible is more concerned with generosity now and treasure in heaven.

But I still quite like the idea of going to work in a tank.

Massive respect if you got number 6.

1If I Were a Rich man from Fiddler on the Roof

2Price Tag - Jessie J

3Money, Money, Money - Abba

4Money Makes the World Go Round from Cabaret

5Money - Pink Floyd

6It's Only Money (part 1) - Argent 

Thought for the Day

I managed to reference a lot of the stories on the show today and, of course, received the usual feedback I get every time I mention how old I am. This is what I presented at BBC Radio Bristol this morning, amidst tears of laughter for reasons not entirely unrelated to Noel Edmonds telephoning cats:

Today's starter question. In a mature society, what should we pay for? What should be free?

Jesus told his disciples that there was no point gaining the whole world and losing your soul. And he told them if they wanted to follow him to take up their cross. Souls valuable; bodies expendable, we conclude. Tough challenge.

Having time to kill in a big city recently I went into a museum. I was encouraged to make a donation but I didn't need to. It was free.

Wandering around I felt the first twinges of toothache. My thoughts moved quite quickly from the pain and inconvenience to 'I'm glad I pay for a dental plan.'

Museums free.

Dentistry costs.

Nailsea is the first place I've ever lived where town centre car-parking is free. I've reached that peculiarly arbitrary age where prescriptions are free and I can get discounts on travel costs.

Meanwhile people are having to find huge amounts of money to pay for a university education, which I got free, and some have found that it's cheaper to go to the United States to get a degree.

Tax credits have been a brave attempt to make sure that work always pays - perhaps making the point in the process that nothing comes for free.

Meanwhile repairing acts of vandalism is expensive for our city.

So, what should be free? Education? Prescriptions? Dentistry? Museums? Transport? Basic benefits? None of the above?

The job of politics is to work out how to organise services into free, subsidised and fully-charged stuff. The work of the faith community is to remind everyone what is of real value.

A relationship with God has no price tag. It's a free gift. But it has very costly implications.

Quotes of the Day

For those not appreciating this exercise, can I reassure you that we are within two years of the end of the book I am indexing. Two to ponder:

1121. Retribution is of two kinds: first, social, also known as justice; and second, individual, also known as revenge. The mark of a civilised society is that it promotes the messy frustrations and delays of the former over the false and instant consolation of the latter.
(Amol Rajan, theIpaper 19/4/12 on Norway's response to Anders Breivik's court behaviour)

1135. ...there are many kinds of wealth money cannot buy. You can buy education, but you cannot buy intelligence; you can buy designer clothes, but not style; cosmetics but not beauty; sex, but not love.
(A.C.Grayling, The Heart of Things)

Disability and the Minimum Wage

A bit like trying to have a sensible discussion about drugs or rape, to name but two, is the problem of daring to suggest, in this day and age, that different people might be treated differently.

I have only heard the rubbish audio version of the, presumably illegally-obtained, comments by Lord Freud. And, as ever, various easily-smelling-a-bandwagon-to-jump-on people are condemning him. Hold those stones while I tell you a story.

Paul used to help out at my last church. He spent his days at a Day Centre for adults with learning difficulties. They tried hard to find work for people such as Paul. We had him in once a week to hoover the church carpet, deliberately asking our cleaners not to do this and to leave it to Paul.

Paul couldn't easily communicate. He knew my name and would say Steve when he saw me, then 'work' and occasionally mention the names of others he knew. I liked the way he called me my name. Yeve. Yeve.

We paid him £3. The Centre implored us not to pay him any more, for large amounts of money worried him. But he could learn to budget his £3. He was lovely and, I believe, often used his money to buy flowers for a grave of a family member.

Hoovering two carpets was a half hour job. Maybe ten years ago £3 was a fair wage for that. But it took Paul all morning. Maybe he wasn't paid per hour, but to do a job.

I wrote about him once in an old post on this blog.

Now could it possibly be people such as Paul to whom Lord Freud's questioners were referring? And if so, let's have a grown up discussion about that.

I understand where he is coming from, if that is what he was talking about.

Thought for the Day

As delivered at BBC Radio Bristol an hour ago, my thought for Budget Day 2014:

Which question do you find easier to answer, 'How do you feel?' or 'What do you think?'

Most people have a preference.

I hate being asked how I feel. It stops me and makes me er (beat) think. How do I feel? I don't know.

Sports reporting is interested in feelings. Exhausted and strained an athlete will have a microphone thrust under their nose and be asked, 'How do you feel?'

The tired victor might say they are over the moon. An easy, feelingsy statement.

Today's question, 'Do I feel better off?'

The danger with feelings is that I can feel good about the economy for many reasons. Having no more dependent children at home made me feel a bit sad and yet richer. My feelings may buck the trend. A victim of a mugging may not agree that crime figures are down. Even if they are.

To rephrase the question. 'Do I think I am better off?'

The danger with thinking is working out the truth. Today stats will be flung about. £650bn here and £730bn there. In our political world getting at the truth is hard, especially when political opponents are lobbing statistics at each other as if they are opposites when in fact both are correct. They'd argue about a snooker ball. This ball is red. No it's not, it's round. Both true.

No wonder it says, to get right the Bible verse that lots of people get wrong, 'The love of money is a root of all kinds of evil.' Most of the Bible's words about money are couched in the negative.

So, amidst the smoke and mirrors, listen out today for competing truths and beware of your unreliable feelings.

Multiplying Money

In our parish we are living out the parable of the talents. This is in order to stimulate interest in the last push to raise the necessary money to finish our imaginative Trinity Project. The project has involved taking three run down buildings and turning them into the hub a modern church needs for its mission and ministry. Two buildings are completed. One to go, plus the equipping and the striking piece of modern architecture - a sweeping glass foyer roof to link the three together.

Today I have been giving out ten pound notes to people inviting them to use the money to pump prime a business to generate more by Harvest this autumn.

What am I going to do myself?

Well all I have going for me is a bit of writing skill so here's the plan. I am going to invest in some nice paper and a clip-frame or two.

Then, if you tell me the name of someone you would like to give an unusual gift to, I will write a one page story featuring their name, print it, frame it and send it to you. All I ask is that you send a donation to cover the frame and the postage plus whatever you think the writing is worth, or can afford.

Any other details of the name you want me to write about will help. E.g. Bill, loves golf and DIY, hates football and is a terrible loser. That sort of thing.

Contact me on my private email stevetilley9@gmail.com to order a commission. I look forward to a full order book with the optimism of a complete fruit loop.

Quote Book Index 571-580

573. If you would know what God thinks of money, you only have to look at those to whom he gives it.
(Maurice Baring)

Quote Book Index 31-40

32. Most of them had nothing but money, which seemed ... like the cruellest form of destitution.'
(Paul Theroux)

MP's Pay

A bit of an own goal for most of our MPs, answering a questionnaire about their salary aspirations when they must have known the answers would make it into the public domain. Durr. Seems they reckon, on average, they deserve about £20k more a year.

But a contributor to PM on Radio 4 just now suggested that as there was a high demand for MPs posts, more standing for election than could possibly get the job, the salary ought to be lower. Interesting.

Some might say that politics would then fail to attract the brightest minds. Really? Who is the brighter, a politician who gives their life in public service or one who says they will be off unless they get more money?

My own profession has relied for years on providing clergy with just enough to avoid earning their livings. We do it for reasons other than the money by and large but are rapidly becoming one of the few occupations that both live on the patch and do it vocationally.

Anticipating the comment that we get a smart house rent-free, yes I know and this is a bonus. But after twenty eight years in any other profession I guess I might be able to live in my own house mortgage-free.

Vocational Work

At my leaving do from Eagle Star Insurance in 1981 one of my colleagues wished me luck in my new vacation. I'm sure it was a slip of the tongue.

Priesthood is one of the few occupations still seen as vocational. Notwithstanding the impact of Common Tenure, which leaves clergy to be treated, and feeling, more like the salaried than the stipended, most of us do the job because of a sense of calling and feel that the money we get each month, rather than payment for services rendered, is to save us from the necessity of earning our livings.

We may discuss that some other time.

I've wondered afresh recently, especially in the light of the discussion about salaries for CEOs, if there might be such a thing as a vocational banker.

Who else does this? Some teachers, medics and charity sector professionals maybe but the list doesn't extend easily.

By vocational I mean doing the job by hook or by crook regardless of payment.

The argument about bankers' salaries seems to be that no-one would move sideways to help RBS and in the process take a huge salary cut, therefore the bank needs to offer a market rate. Having done that, albeit with a slashed bonus scheme, Stephen Hester has now been pressured into waiving his right to the bonus negotiated.

How about if there were a group of senior financiers who would say this:

We care about markets, wealth creation and monetary security. It has been our lives' work to study it and manage it. We now pledge ourselves to help ailing financial institutions (even if they are countries) for the rest of our working lives at no more remuneration than that which saves us having to work for our living elsewhere.

Go on. I dare one of you to go first. Bankpriests. We need you.

Psychology News

Fascinating article in the Observer on Sunday in which Daniel Kahneman argues, in an extract from his  book Thinking, Fast and Slow, that the evidence clearly shows that successful traders in the money market cannot demonstrate that their success is down to anything but luck. In other words the luckiest ones are seen as the best and faith continues to be put in them on that basis.

He established his theories by trying to assess how well soldiers would do in leadership based on observing their performances in a series of tests. It turned out that there was virtually no correlation between someone taking charge of a log-dragging contest and actual leadership skills in the theatres of war or management. But no-one believed him and continued to run the sort of obstacle courses admired by management consultants the world over.

He explains how, once we see an illusion of skill - a cognitive illusion - we find it very hard to respond in any other way than as if it really is skill. Many of those we revere as successful have simply thrown several sixes in a row. Whilst there may be some advantage in being friends with someone who has just done that we need to be aware that runs of luck are runs of luck and no more.

So, who do you think is good at their job? And are they, or are they just lucky?

Seems Wrong to Me

The best accountant I ever worked with would be able to look at a column of figures and say if something was wrong. Call it intuition if you want, but it was born of years of looking at figures. It was he who taught me what a 'made up' number looked like in an expenses claim. No-one made up a figure of round pounds and they never went forwards always backwards, he said. An odd 90p or 99p or any number ending with 9p made the fraudster think they were going to be spotted and a double number looked wrong so 88p wasn't used. Thus it was that a cheat trying to claim a dodgy £10 would often claim £9.87. So £9.87 appeared on expenses claims more regularly than it should and 'looked wrong.' So it got checked.

Likewise an editor I worked with would see a double space in the middle of two sides of solid A4 or a duplicated word without having to read the whole document. His experience helped him to know what the sheet should look like.

And so it was when I heard the news last Thursday that the Archbishop of Canterbury had called for Sharia law to make its 'inevitable' debut in this country the words sounded wrong. He's too clever to have said that. He would never have said that in isolation.

Whilst I rarely get over-excited about irresponsible journalism I do so now. Four days of argument over something he didn't say. People contributing to the debate before reading what he said. It's a disgrace and nothing less.

More on this later.

Financial Notes

Excuse me. Yes you. Sorry to bother you but do you remember Farepak? That's right the Christmas hamper savings scheme people who went bust and left a lot of the poorest people in the country completely stuffed, unlike the turkeys they no longer had.

Well why, hope you don't mind me asking, did the government not help those people? Yes I know that it would be wrong to set a precedent of bailing out a commercial organisation. Floodgates and all that. People sailing their businesses closer to disaster because there was always a government hand-out if they hit the rocks. I thought you'd say that.

My problem is, what is Northern Rock if it isn't a commercial enterprise which navigated out of its channel? How many millions have they been loaned to keep going? Try to remember. And the queues outside the branches. Would you not have said there was the teensiest little hint, in fashion sense, newspaper carrying and general demeanour that these were people who weren't that badly off? Very unFarepak.

While you're wrestling with that one tell me, is inflation a bad thing? Oh, lots of it is but we need a bit of it because a stagnant economy is bad and a deflating economy is bad. You read that in the Times did you? But house prices? They should go up a lot? Then most of the sorts of people who vote for the government will feel good and do it again. Yes, I am a bit of a cynic. I either need an economics lesson or someone needs to tell everyone else they're stupid.

People talk a lot about consumer confidence. It means that when the going gets tough the people stop shopping (apart from those who use retail as a therapy and we all know what happens to them eventually). But we have built an economy, I reckon, on people finding more and more things to produce and sell which people didn't know they wanted when they didn't exist. It's a bubble and there must be a pin. It's all fake. If you are in retail better make sure you stock a high level of 'necessaries.' Unnecessaries are going to stop shifting, and I reckon sooner rather than later.

Money eh? It's so annoying. I think I'll give a bit extra away today. You?

Mini happiness

Some things bring you more pleasure than they ought to, pro-rata, by size (stop sniggering at the back) or value. I am holding such a thing now (Blenkinsop, wait outside until you have ceased being amused).

It is only the size of a postcard and thinner. It is worth £65.50. It brings me deep and unstoppable joy.

You see it is from HM Assistant Paymaster General and issued by HM Revenue and Customs and it is a cheque for a National Insurance Contribution refund. Get that lovely word. Refund.

I shouldn't get so excited. When I lend you a tenner and you give it me back I only feel a sense of balance and would probably have let you keep it if you really needed it. They are only giving me back my money and they have had it for six to nine months and aren't paying interest.

But as I desperately search for another simile for the rain which beats down on the conservatory roof like a wet thing I can't think of (Blenkinsop - another ten minutes in the corridor please), and the tiredness of the last few days fogs my brain, I have pleasure. I look at the cheque. I smile. Hooray.

Why do we hate taxes so? They are fair by and large. Pray for a tax collector today. It's one of Jesus' mini priorities.

Tax

As if by clockwork a letter from my tax consultants arrives ready for me to deal with 2006/7. Tax is a horrid thing and nobody likes it much.

I met Mintaplan when I was ordained in 1984. They are a Scottish firm of chartered accountants who specialise in clergy and church worker tax matters. I have used them ever year since.

When I joined them they charged me 10% of what they saved me in year 1 and thereafter a retainer which is now £115.15 including VAT and costs. For a substantial discount they will do a spouse's tax too. They still have a fine introductory offer based on savings made; I just checked.

What it boils down to is my tax matters, as long as I keep good records, take an hour a year to do. Brilliant. This was even the case in my four years as a part-time freelance. I commend them thoroughly. One of the accountants sounds a bit like Jimmy Krankie on the phone.

Global Rich List

There's always a moment of disappointment in my heart when somebody, praying grace, asks us to bear in mind the needs of others. Leaves the sort of feeling that I was about to enjoy my meal until they said that.

So visit the above link with caution, but on a day when I have thought more than usual about poverty, read Psalm 146 as a daily reading and noted this post from Finker on the subject it was interesting to get directed thus from Grove Books emailshot and discover that I am very, very rich even before I consider the amount of my wife's salary I also get the advantage of.

Humbling. Back to decluttering.

Thursday Morning

Had a vocal text message on my land-line, allegedly from BT, telling me to phone an 0800 number about recent business on my account. Suspecting a scam I called the main BT line and after talking to a machine and listening to some stirring classical music I spoke to an Asian-sounding woman and then an Irish-sounding man. No scam. They wanted to check that I knew a reverse charge call to Coffs Creek had been made on my account costing £45.96. Why didn't they just phone me?

We're having an austere month to keep costs down before a holiday we can't afford so that blows the budget saved on wine and drives me back in its general direction anyway. Better put the cork back in breakfast, as P.J. O'Rourke said.

Deciding that I need a break from accidentally spending money I don't have I reach for a CD and find that Dr John is singing 'Accentuate the Positive.' So let's have a go. If we had phoned Jon every week since he left home it would have cost that. Under £50 is a small price to pay for the privilege of hearing your son speak to you from t'other side of the world for the first time since February.

Liz's attempt at saving money has gone equally badly as she has saved about £60 in careful budgetting and has been working extra hard so as not to have any spare time to be tempted to spend money on clothes an ting. During this time she has picked up a speeding ticket.

It seems to me that every time in my life I try hard to care about money it all goes tits up. I'm going back to not caring and reminding myself that I'm sitting in about a quarter of a million pounds worth of realisable capital as I write.

Remember the Jesus on Wheels competition is still open as is the opportunity to help me reply to my hate mail.