Hour at the Cross

Some years ago I used to curate an alternative hour at the cross, based at Holy Trinity, Nailsea. The hour consisted of three or four pieces of music, three readings, three prayers and three periods of silence. I enjoyed doing it greatly.  It was one of the things I have done in the course of my ministry that proved most divisive. I received comments that the silence was too long, the music inappropriate and my favourite ’Did anyone else see the Holy Spirit walk out?’ I also received an equal number of appreciative comments. Marmite worship, I guess.

The whole point was to answer the question, ‘Would you wait and pray with me for an hour?’ Despite any feelings you may have about the music. I almost hoped that people would not like one or two of the pieces. In any case, some of the juxtapositions were meant to grate a little.

But it occurs to me that we’re all volunteers in cyber space so here is another hour at the cross. You can take an hour, a day or twenty minutes over it. I’ll never know. The music links are from Spotify. An account costs £9.99 a month. A free account is available but you’ll have to listen to an advert every third track.

Hour at the Cross 2020

First Reading: Matthew 16:21-26

Opening Prayer

We adore and magnify you, O Lord our God, that in Christ crucified you reveal that the very essence of your nature is a love that will go to the uttermost lengths for everyone: for the lost, the lowest, and the least; for each and every one of us here as we kneel at the door of the cross today. Amen.
(Frank Colquhoun, New Parish Prayers - adapted)

Music: Hayes and Cahill - The Windswept Hill of Tulla 

Silence

Second Reading: Matthew 22:23-40

Second Prayer

Eternal God,

in the cross of Jesus

we see the cost of sin

and the depth of your love:

in humble hope and fear

may we place at his feet

all that we have and all that we are,

through Jesus Christ our Lord.

(Church of England- Common Worship)

Music: Daughter - Made of Stone

Silence

Third Reading: Matthew 27:45-56

Third Prayer
Lord God,
you are attentive to the voice
of our pleading.
Let us find in your Son
comfort in our sadness,
certainty in our doubt,
and courage to live through this hour.
Make our faith strong
through Christ our Lord.
Amen.

(Nursebuff)

Music: Dusted - Under the Sun

Silence

‘Build a shrine to credibility and then bow.’

Well?

Do you?

Wait and See.

Music: The Faith Brothers - Secret Heart

Slow Down

Saying Morning Prayer (some call it 'The Office') has been an increasing blessing to me. It began as a curse. The wrong time to leave a woman with two small sons alone.

It grew to informality. I'd pray with people but not follow the set service. Last thirteen years or so I have been back to the beginning:

O Lord open our lips

And our mouth shall proclaim your praise

The words of my college doctrine tutor and tutor-group leader in year two, the late Tom Smail, come back to me from time to time. 'How wonderful not to have to be spontaneous at 8 o'clock in the morning.' And he was the man who, almost single-handedly, reinjected the Church of England with Holy Spirit Theology in the 1970s.

I start the liturgy (in my little church I am blessed with the company of two or three others most days) and my favourite bit is this:

The night has passed and the day lies open before us. Let us pray with one heart and mind.

(Silence may be kept)

As we rejoice in the gift of this new day, so may the light of your presence, o God, set our hearts on fire with love for you; now and for ever. Amen.

No matter how slowly I started, after the silence I continue slower. No matter what cares of the day I had woken with two hours earlier they begin to fall into line. I stack and rack as I take some control over the traffic of my life.

What reminds you that the day doesn't need to go as quickly as you think it does?

Thought for the Day

As delivered just now at BBC Radio Bristol's Breakfast with Emma Britton:

Friend used to work for a bank. He was paid to anticipate the future. He looked at political, social and international trends and the value of investments. When we first met he was taking a five to ten year look at a relatively stable market. Then the crash of 2007 happened. We had a little joke:

'When's the future John?'

'About half past three.'

John's retired now. I bet today he'd have trouble predicting the future more than thirty minutes ahead. I had three goes yesterday evening at a thought based on a General Election and democracy - things moved on so quickly I had no idea how to get it to be relevant for this morning.

We're also having trouble with the past. In a city built, to some extent, on the profits of slavery we're trying to work out how to own that with appropriate repentance. Plus, we were trying to build at a bus depot when we found a bomb from 78 years ago.

We may have finished with the past, but the past's not done with us.

Tomorrow many churches will be open for those who find the current political uncertainty worrying and need a place of quiet space. Perhaps prayer. If your attitude to an election is depression and your uncertainty about the future is draining why not set aside time to find something deeper? Maybe find a truth from the past, for now and to take into the future.

You might ponder the beginning, where the Bible speaks of deep truth that was there at the start; the middle where it is revealed in the man Jesus and the end where every tear will be wiped from our eyes. Bigger than Brexit. You betcha.

Advent Thought 17

I don't spend much time on cards but I do spend a ridiculous amount of time on our Christmas letter.

A lovely friend here was spied out of the bedroom window a few years back. He was in the road opposite with a sketch pad, although at the time I didn't know if he had responsibilities as a surveyor or recorder of social information.

A few days later all became clear as a personalised, hand-drawn Christmas card arrived. This has been happening for ten years and we display the set, trying desperately to arrange the story in chronological order.

One of the cards even includes an exact depiction of my dressing gown, which is worrying. But we love the investment of time, in us, that the cards represent.

Advent is a funny time for remembering people. Having just worked my way down our Christmas card list I have had several moments of wondering if we have been sending a card to the wrong address for a number of years in some cases. How do people tell you of their change of address these days? So many possible ways.

So, practical Advent thought; if you get an update on family details, note the info down now in your Christmas card file (tell me you have one, please).

And spiritual one. Spare a payer for all those you send cards to, and all you receive them from.

Quote Book Index 81-90

89. I have been driven many times to my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I have nowhere else to go. (Abraham Lincoln)

750 Words

People who follow me - @s1eve - on Twitter will be greeted, most days by a post such as today's:

I wrote 767 words in 21 minutes (3 day streak): http://750words.com/entries/share/2318875 …

I have explained a bit about this before. The idea of 'Morning Words', for that is what the exercise is, is that a brain dump of the first things you want to say without a great need to worry about style or typos will be of benefit. You can also try and capture your dreams.

If you follow the link to my stuff my sharing preferences will tell you things such as how many words I wrote, how long it took me, how many days in a row I have managed and a list of the most common words in each entry. I will not let you read my work and sometimes, if the list of words has a dead giveaway, I don't share at all. You would worry if my most common words one day were church, warden and brake-pipes. They aren't.

Having done a couple of months I have subtly tweaked how I use the tool. For years I have suffered that slight evangelical guilt that a daily 'Quiet Time' to read the Bible and pray is a good thing. I have never found it easy, or good. Indeed the more I read the Bible the less I found the necessity to read it every day as biblical.

So, as someone who spends a great chunk of his day with a Bible open, I don't need an extra ten minutes at the beginning of the day on an unconnected passage. I don't do that dualistic thinking that it is not quite Quiet Time if you are preparing something. And I find the Bible is enthusiastic for me to pray continually - to involve God, as I understand God, in all I do and say.

So I have decided to make my 750 word exercise my prayer. For what is prayer but blurting your heart out in faith? And in those gaps where I know not what to write? Well surely that is listening for the still small voice - inner or outer - to inspire me.

After many years I have made the connection between the ability to type fast and the desire to take time out at the start of the day to think, reflect and wait in hope.

And, of course, you can all know if I am keeping it up.

Works for me.

(That was post 2,500. Thanks for reading.)

Praying?

A wise army chaplain once remarked that there were no atheists in foxholes. The late Tom Smail quoted the philosopher Bertrand Russell describing the view from his coastal home, 'I have to hang onto the gatepost to prevent myself having a spiritual experience.'

The terrible plight of Bolton Wanderers footballer Fabrice Muamba, who collapsed during the Spurs v Bolton FA Cup tie on Saturday, has left many of his fellow players remarking that they are praying for him.

I wonder if popular culture is now ready for a course on prayer as an evangelistic strategy? People who are praying but do not know the one they are praying to may need some help. Something drives many people to prayer when crisis knocks on the door.

We ought to be better at talking about why.

To Pray or Not to Pray

I notice that Bideford Town Council, who were challenged in court about beginning their meetings with prayers, have lost their case. The case was brought on the basis that the human rights of non-Christians were being breached. The case was actually won on an obscure point of legislation. No breach of human rights was found.

Read the BBC report here.

I suspect that many Christians will feel disappointed by this judgement. I don't. It is a matter of common courtesy, one which I offer people regularly, to ask permission before you pray. I extend this courtesy to all those I meet pastorally at weddings and funerals. Baptisms are different because the people concerned are seeking to make a Christian connection.

When one of our sons turned against our Christian routines we stopped saying grace.

It is not as if Christian Councillors will be unable to pray. They may have to do it quietly. I know of no scripture that tells me audible prayer is more effective than silent.

The sooner we identify our country's constitution as secular the better the Christian message can compete fairly in the market place of ideas.

Spirituality

I was at clergy meeting the other day at which a guest speaker talked about spirituality. I think, and I lost concentration at about sentence two so I may be wrong, that we were being encouraged to make time for our own spirituality in order to sustain ourselves in our demanding roles.

I used to do a job training youth leaders. From time to time this involved talking to clergy about youth-work. I discovered, quite early on, that if I talked specifics I often got the reply 'That won't work here mate and I'll tell you why.' Not always so politely. So I spoke in general terms and principles and allowed others to do the application to their local situation. This had some success.

I think this is what our guest speaker was doing the other day although her precise generalisations (can't believe I wrote that, sorry) were hard to pin down. Elusive wisps of thoughts and ideas came and went, every one of them, sending my mind off on a journey to a better place. Maybe this is what a spirituality adviser should do. But the result was that when we were asked to respond to what she had said I had no idea what the question was. It seemed that most others in the room, with the exception of some of the more recently ordained clergy, knew what to talk about at this point.

The more they spoke the more I thought I wouldn't because I would seem weird. I get this a lot. So I wrote a bit. This usually helps. Just now I found my notes. It occurs to me that discovering others who saw the world my way might be an encouragement. So here, with a bit of tidying, is what I wrote:

What sort of spirituality do you identify with?
Which do you prefer? I do not engage with life as a series of preferences. My life is not especially binary, digital. If given a series of choices I will often make one, but not out of long-term established principle; merely then and there. Tea or coffee? Chips or mash?  Bath or shower? Silence or company? Read or write? Mercedes or VW? (That one's real, current and hard.)

If given a choice of yellow and any other colour, yellow will usually lose. But asked to choose between any other two colours I will probably not have a favourite.

Our speaker just said, 'If I am not astonished (by the world) I am not paying attention.' What has astonished me this week? Nothing. Some people find this question easy. I am not often shocked (although I don't like horror movies so tend to avoid trying to be shocked) and the opposite is also true. I am rarely astonished. Being astonished has just been equated with paying attention. I think I am permanently curious but rarely astonished. The world has a consistency about it such that only the miraculous and street magic (trickery) astonishes me. Since 'astonished' is such a wrong word for me I find the question hard.

So I won't usually hate a week but neither will I instantly and clearly be able to tell you what was the best bit. I wonder if seeing the world in terms of being rather than doing (which I be) makes it peculiarly difficult to identify the best doings of the week. What was the best bit of last week? Being me. It was great. I have eyes and opposable thumbs. Ain't that the dogs?

So what is my response to questions such as, 'What sort of spirituality do you identify with?' It's difficult. All of them. None of them.

If there are any people out there who understand this and would like to talk about it please get in touch. Use the comments box, tweet @s1eve or pick any other way you know.

And nobody mentioned Jesus, once.

A Bit of Dissonance

My head has been in a bit of a spin today. It started with a vague feeling of I don't-know-whatness at Morning Prayer and it hasn't gone away. I'm not ill or stressed; it's just that there's a thought trying to fly.

It may come from having had my notions of order challenged and being invited to embrace the conflict (see Monday's post and comments) but I seem to be more than usually aware of the bigness of God and the smallness of humanity.

It is also a time where many are discussing the future of the church, especially the Church of England, in the light of the TV programme Rev (tonight 9.00 p.m) and also a few articles being Facebooked and Twittered (some quite old) about the decline in the church. Others are renewing their spleen-venting over disestablishment and literal understandings of the Bible. I'm with them on both counts so they may as well save their spleens when in my company.

In Psalm 76 this morning we were invited to ponder a view of God that was enormous:

You are resplendent with light,
more majestic than mountains rich with game.
Valiant men lie plundered,
they sleep their last sleep;
not one of the warriors
can lift his hands.
At your rebuke, O God of Jacob,
both horse and chariot lie still.

This human view of God's majesty was that creatures were attractive because they were food and defeat in battle was all part of God's mighty, all-encompassing command and control. When he says die, you die.

Some say that they dislike the bloodthirsty God of the Old Testament. In fact it is the people who were bloodthirsty. The psalmist suggests that God is bigger than all this.

The Old Testament contains a lot of history and, as we all know, history is often written by the winners.

Then we started the Book of Zephaniah. He prophesied during the reign of Josiah. Josiah is always lauded as a good king who preserved Israel's sacred religious traditions and instituted reforms on that basis. He listened to the prophets and obeyed them. But the words of Zephaniah fly in the face of that. Here's a guy who proclaims death and judgement while things are improving and being renewed. It looks as if Josiah and he may have shared a great-grandfather (King Hezekiah) so that may be how Zephaniah managed to avoid becoming lion food. He is not mentioned in the parallel accounts in the historical books of 2 Kings or 2 Chronicles.

Then we had that little passage in Matthew where Jesus gets his and Peter's temple tax paid by doing a magic trick with a fish. It smacks of folk-tale to me, an invention of Matthew to keep Jews paying their taxes after the fall of Jerusalem.

We (there were four of us at Morning Prayer) often have a short discussion about the readings but today we sat in silence and I enjoyed my own discussion.

During a pastoral prayer meeting a little later I pondered on the simple faith of some of those prayers. At one point I jotted this down, addressed to those who rubbish the church:

The God you mock, the one who intervenes from time to time, occasionally doing our will, is too small. The God  I think I recognise, and know, always intervenes and my prayers are a way of seeing my unique issues in an eternal context.

This thought, not quite fully-formed enough to write down but what-the-hell, wants to suggest that in getting to grasp the fullness of the wonder of God, literalism can be a real hindrance. Sometimes it doesn't mean quite what it appears to says. That doesn't mean it ain't truth. We may need to search harder to find what is. None of these passages, experiences or events will reveal its meaning alone.

Collecting Symbolic Stuff

Do you have a problem with cards? Someone sends you a thank-you card. When do you throw it out? What about a love letter? Do you keep it? I have some old ones stashed away but I have never re-read them and probably never will.

I am pretty much a minimalist now. I chuck stuff away without sentimentalism. This creates a slight tension with the working style of one of my colleagues - everything he does seems to need to have a symbolic take home item.

I thought of this just now when a small polished stone fell out of my bag. It was the souvenir of a symbolic act of worship or dedication or something we did last week. Trouble is I can't remember what it was meant to be symbolising.

My study was becoming full of written on bricks, named stones and sloganed stakes of wood. I've just put them all in the bin. Felt good.

Not for nothing did Jesus do an eat this drink this rather than a keep this piece of symbolism. Clever chap. I hate clutter.

Niggly Verse

A verse from our leadership team Bible study this week has been annoying me. It has been following me around since last Tuesday, pulling at my coat and saying, 'You don't get me do you?' It's this:

'I tell you, though he will not get up and give him the bread because he is his friend, yet because of the man's boldness he will get up and give him as much as he needs.' (NIV Luke 11:8 - Jesus speaking)

Jesus' disciples have asked him to teach them to pray, '...just as John taught his disciples.' We don't know anything about how John taught his disciples to pray.

Jesus then taught the prayer we now know as the Lord's Prayer. Many have wondered over the years, and books have been written, as to whether Jesus intended to teach a prayer for repetition or a pattern as aide-memoire. It's another 'don't know' I'm afraid. We use it in both ways.

Then, according to Luke, Jesus says this:

'Suppose you have a friend, and you go to him at midnight and say, ‘Friend, lend me three loaves of bread; a friend of mine on a journey has come to me, and I have no food to offer him.’ And suppose the one inside answers, ‘Don’t bother me. The door is already locked, and my children and I are in bed. I can’t get up and give you anything.’ I tell you, even though he will not get up and give you the bread because of friendship, yet because of your shameless audacity he will surely get up and give you as much as you need.'
Luke 11:5-9 (New International Version, ©2010)

Notice the new translation in the excellent NIV 2010. But it still seems as if, if we decide who is who in this parable, God will tell supplicants to bog off because he is sleeping. Surely not?

I think, after a week's ponder, that those of us who occasionally ask God to do things for us, are being told that we have a special relationship. Although most people will not be gladly disturbed after midnight when the light is out for the night our friends will be OK with this. Tired? Yes. Irritated? Possibly? But aware that friendship carries responsibilities that other relationships do not? Exactly.

We can approach God as a friend. 'Hey God - it's me, your mate St. Could you...?'

Well I thought that on Thursday but it's not what the passage says. In effect the passage says your friendship counts for nothing. That won't get God out of bed. It is your boldness, your shameless audacity that has him put his trousers back on and raid the larder. He had already told his friend to go away (presumably the friend didn't but stood nagging).

What on earth are you doing God? Get up. I need the bread now.

Next time it falls to me to lead a prayer time we are going to have a go at shameless audacity.

Abbots Pool

This is Abbot's Pool at Abbot's Leigh (yes the hymn tune is named after the place). The monks built the dam in order to have a source of fresh fish for the monastery. It is a beautiful tranquil place for a bit of a ponder. Has a certain spirit of wandering monkishness.

Prayers for Healing

Here's the problem. I have a torn cartilage in my right knee and am on a waiting list for simple, effective day-surgery. From time to time it hurts like blazes; on other occasions - sometimes a few days in length - it is symptomless.

Last Sunday I had a good gym session and felt fine afterwards. During the periods when my knee feels better it is my prayer that I might know clearly whether this is healing or respite. I don't want to go for surgery if I don't need it. But almost the only way to find out if I need it is to have my knee opened up. Torn cartilages are notoriously difficult to see but they can be diagnosed easily enough with a pain-response to particular movements. Which I have.

I go to the gym to keep fit and to keep my back symptomless. Since I tore my cartilage back in February I have had to avoid running, rowing and lower-body weights but I've got by and the back's been OK with one minor tweak.

In my bedroom, removing my trainers, (the showers at the gym have been out of action for a wee while) I jolted my leg and a terrible pain tore up it. I have to say that I was disappointed but also happy. If you take an annoying car-noise to a mechanic it is dreadful when the squeak don't squeak.

So last night someone had a 'word' that there was a person to pray for with a right knee problem and a left elbow problem. I asked if this was thought to be two problems in one individual but they weren't sure. I tend to dismiss 'words from the Lord' if a statistical analysis would give me just as much chance of a hit. So I had hoped this 'word' was about one person. That would be less likely to be down to pure chance in a room of 30 or so people.

So they asked about me and I explained about my knee and that even if it was healed I wouldn't know without the surgery so I would be going ahead with the operation anyway so if they didn't mind I'd rather go home (it had been a two and half hour meeting at which I'd been taking notes as secretary most of the night) and cuddle the wife for ten seconds before bed. I had a feeling (forgive me) that these people would not be able to pray short-windedly.

Lack of faith or renewed mind? Your call.

Dirk

My literary hero is not one of the colossi of the classical canon but the late Douglas Adams' creation Dirk Gently. Dirk is a holistic detective. He believes in the ultimate inter-connectedness of all things. If you haven't read the eponymous first book or The Long, Dark Tea-Time of the Soul then leave now and come back later when you have. It will help you with this blog. Trust me. Dirk believes that following any car is as good as following that car. Why am I telling you this?

There is something about doing something else that is always helpful. Whilst I start my day with prayer and meditation I also start it with a number puzzle. Not too demanding but as the correct answers to a killer Sudoku drop into place I somehow find my day drops into place. I leave just enough grey matter unoccupied to work out how the day will happen whilst exercising the rest of it. Works for me.

I have cleared the best part of the next three weeks day-time to finish a book ('I'm a very slow reader' - Frank Muir). The act of writing anything will get me up to speed. I'll probably blog stuff when I'm blocked about the main thing.

In a world that is the work of one creator it should not be surprising that things are connected. When you are stuck, doing something else will fix the thing you are meant to be doing more often than not. That final crossword clue can be solved after a break. A holiday restores your mind as well as your body.

Maybe that's why, when the disciples told Jesus that everyone was looking for him (because healing was required and there was a queue), he said, 'Let's go somewhere else' (Mark 1:38). Not only because his priority was preaching over healing but that somehow this would solve both problems. Just a thought for the day, only more chit chatty. Don't go mad. Douglas Adams died on an exercise bike aged 49, The Salmon of Doubt, the third Dirk novel, frustratingly uncompleted. Laters.

Appealing

The church/congregation I look after is a twenty year old plant in the parish of Holy Trinity, Nailsea. For newish readers, we meet in a school and provide a Christian presence on an estate with few public buildings and little sense of community.

The parish church a couple of miles away houses three other congregations and the parish offices. It is old and in the medieval part of the town. Next door is a Georgian, grade two listed rectory and a tithe barn.

There is a tri-incidence of needs. The Trinity Centre (the parish hall attached to the church) needs updating, the Tithe Barn needs renovating and the diocese of Bath and Wells, who own the Rectory, want to sell it. As it is part of the church's historic footprint and we have set a target of numerical growth over the next few years it seems ludicrous not to buy it.

So all this means that in a time of economic downturn we are launching an appeal today to raise enough money to do all three things which will be a cool million give or take.

On the one hand this seems crazy. On the other, if you want to walk on water...

Let's see.

Disgraceful

I once heard this grace:

In a world where many are lonely, we thank you for our company.
In a world where many are hungry, we thank you for our food.
In a world where many have no hope, we thank you for the good news of Jesus Christ.
Amen.

It works in a Christian community but, one day, searching for a grace to use at a wedding, I adapted it to:

In a world where many are lonely, we thank you for our company.
In a world where many are hungry, we thank you for our food.
In a world where many find conversations hard to start, we thank you for the wine.
Amen.

It got a laugh, avoided the minister sounding too pious, adopted the spirit of Cana and now I use it all the time. I need to stop, so I'm publishing it. Use it for free and I'll have to think of another one. Thanks.

Quiet Days at Home

One or two people have asked me about these with a view to setting up something elsewhere. Delighted to share the franchise. Here's how it works in Nailsea.

I am fortunate to live in a large, comfortable house in a quiet area.

I advertise through local churches that I will be holding quiet days, usually about nine a year. I don't do them when church life gets hectic which means missing December and April. I try to do them in blocks of three successive months but it doesn't always work out like that.

I place a maximum of 12 on participants. This is because, if it is wet, there is room in my house for about 12 people to find a bit of space. I make two bedrooms available by leaving the doors open and ask people to close the door when they are using it.

Quiet Days have evolved into a more ecumenical thing than I expected. Today I had ten guests from two Anglican churches, two free churches and one non-church member with whom I have spoken about whether we are her church. We may be. We are certainly her Christian supportive community.

The programme is simple:

1000 Coffee and welcome
1030 Bible study, sharing expectations, house rules
1115 Quiet for reading, praying, walking
1300 Simple lunch (not in silence). Soup and bread in winter; salad in summer
1400 Bible study 2 (shorter) and sharing
1430 Quiet slot 2
1530 Tea and chat

I put on some music at the end of the quiet periods and during food and drinks. I tell people when my next appointment is so they know if they can stay and talk to me.

When I started I decided we would read through Mark's gospel, a chapter at a time, not with full exposition but dipping in from time to time with thoughts. I don't do much more preparation than reading the passage and a commentary, but I chose Mark because I know it best of the Gospels. Today we read Mark 14.

At first I spoke a lot in the studies but now we have a lot of inter-action. If I throw out a textual question for consideration normally someone will read a commentary and report back.

There is no set liturgy, singing or open prayer. I leave a pile of devotional books, various Bible translations and commentaries on the dining table. I keep quiet myself but tell people where they can find me if they want to talk to someone. Today I fell asleep after lunch, which tells you how relaxed it is.

Quiet day would be cancelled if there was only one other participant and they were female. People understand this.

I try to make sure each year has one or two at half-term or school holidays for the benefit of teachers.

Ask me to say more about anything unclear.

Mini happiness

Some things bring you more pleasure than they ought to, pro-rata, by size (stop sniggering at the back) or value. I am holding such a thing now (Blenkinsop, wait outside until you have ceased being amused).

It is only the size of a postcard and thinner. It is worth £65.50. It brings me deep and unstoppable joy.

You see it is from HM Assistant Paymaster General and issued by HM Revenue and Customs and it is a cheque for a National Insurance Contribution refund. Get that lovely word. Refund.

I shouldn't get so excited. When I lend you a tenner and you give it me back I only feel a sense of balance and would probably have let you keep it if you really needed it. They are only giving me back my money and they have had it for six to nine months and aren't paying interest.

But as I desperately search for another simile for the rain which beats down on the conservatory roof like a wet thing I can't think of (Blenkinsop - another ten minutes in the corridor please), and the tiredness of the last few days fogs my brain, I have pleasure. I look at the cheque. I smile. Hooray.

Why do we hate taxes so? They are fair by and large. Pray for a tax collector today. It's one of Jesus' mini priorities.