Learning Things Too Late

I should have known that. People who are genuinely honest with themselves will say this more often than they put up a fight to defend their ignorance. It is an attitude that takes joy in discovery. I commend it. Here are two things I learned too late in my ministerial career.

Hearing Lady Hale on Desert Island Discs reminded me of her most splendid piece of teaching. In dealing with the massive matter of whether it had been against the law to prorogue Parliament she read a verdict which broke this complexity down to four simple questions:

1. Is this a matter on which we are able to rule?

2. What is the relevant law?

3. Has it been broken?

4. What should be the remedy.

For the last few years I have adapted and applied this to almost every meeting I have been responsible for when setting an agenda and leading a discussion to a conclusion:

1. Is this anything to do with us?

2. What are the parameters of our discussion?

3. What do we need to put right or improve?

4. What needs to happen now?

The second is like, namely this. I met a wise old priest who taught me to avoid the self-importance that comes with assuming that when someone shares something with you it is down to you, and you alone, to deal with it.

Given that pastoral problems normally lead to talking he used to reply, when confronted with such, by saying something along the lines of, 'That must be really difficult for you. Do you have someone you can talk to about it?' On many occasions the answer turned out to be 'yes' at which point he would pray for the relationship and commend it with thanks.

In effect he was praising the sharer for the good judgement they had made so far. This also sorted out the folk only he could help.

I tried it a few times. It worked and was well received.

Virtual Meetings

At a recent meeting someone made the point that virtual meetings were OK but if we really wanted the buzz of creativity we had to have a face-to face meeting and look each other in the eye?

I find trading ideas by email quite stimulating and certainly no worse than looking people in the eye. It also means a brainstorm can happen without us all being in the same place at the same time but, say, over a day when we are all up and down from our desks or out of our offices for chunks of time.

Anyone else?

Meetings, Bloody Meetings

Excuse my language but that was the title of an excellent John Cleese training film made in the 1970s and remade in 1994. It looked at the skills required to make the most of meetings, not the alternative to real work but a genuine, if used well, way to achieve more.

For those who wonder what their clergy do all day, in addition to my regular duties, I have been to four meetings this week.

• Deanery Chapter (25 people: 2 hours) on funeral ministry.
• Deanery Synod (45 people: 2.5 hours) on the Diocesan Structure Review.
• Local Ministry Group Ministers' lunch (5 people: 2 hours) on local organisation.
• Churches Together (20 people: 2 hours although I ducked out early to get to meet with a few people about something else) on about a million different things.

That's 212.5 working hours used in meetings. Although some useful work was done and some decisions made, none of them felt satisfactory. The result of that is feeling (feelings mind, not necessarily reliable) that the time could have been used better, and thus, in a busy week, slightly stressed.

I love meetings when you walk out with the feeling that time has been saved not lost. The one hour meeting I had at the end of the last one, with three other people, saved me three one-to-ones doing briefing, encouraged me to keep going with a task that I had lost a bit of faith in and sent me to bed feeling better than any night this week.

If any chairs of meetings have not seen the film I commend it.

Butterflies

Belt up. No all of you. This is going to be one hell of a ride. You won't make it. You can't hack it. You haven't got the staying power. Straps on.

Let's start with services. If it's the principal service and communion we need a gospel. If it's the second service and not communion we only use the first two but not Baruch because that's apocryphal. As there are two baptisms then A can hold a candle for one family and B another for the other. C can lead from the first hymn to the Peace. We need someone to preach at a communion for six on the 14th (The Rev X invites you to a communion at St Hiddenaways on the 14th - 6.31 for 6.30 bring a bottle) - it shouldn't take much preparation.

During this item we discuss the new by-pass, the destruction of the trout farm, druidic sacrifices, new old people's homes (not to be confused with traditional hospital maternity units - old new people's homes) and the building of a Tesco Metro. Back at the services item (which I believe is item 1 but I may have missed something) we are reminded about seasonal doo dahs which many of the inexperienced miss and someone with an ear, nose, throat and something else infection 'There's a lot of it about' all repeat 'There's a LOT of it about' which suggests we have segued into ill people could this be item 2, please tell me it's item 2 before I turn into Michael Bywater and in summary meetings here are butterfly central. Sometimes we scare a few of them into the air at once and then talk them round and down. My kingdom for an agenda.

Like a bolt from the blue the words, 'I don't want to go into a discusion but just think there's something to take away on this one,' hit me. I love that sentence. It's a lovely gambit designed to make a controversial point without hearing the rest of the arguments. I don't want to go into a discussion but our church should close.

We were still on services but had simply got distracted by the sick. We learn that the new Common Worship seasonal material can be downloaded from the Church of England web-site which is better than paying Amazon £20 or the Church £30.

We break into an item of general feedback. News from Chapter. Come to Evening Prayer on Wednesdays. The population of Clevedon is 40,000 (I confess I asked the question). Here are some things you 'don't know' nudge nudge wink wink.

As those of you with email addresses should know the heater timer is kaput and the heating needs to be switched on at the white switch which looks like a light switch between the dial and the two blower thingies in the clergy vestry.

'The Council for Ministry was very interesting' is not something I ever recall hearing before in 22 years of ordained life.

'Is anyone going to the Agora (I think) meetings?'

I did hear John Humphrys talking to religious leaders.

Every ten years each Israeli man and woman has to do nine months in the army for the whole of their life. I am learning so much stuff here but have no idea why.

They contribute to the arms trade in W. The swine.

Anyone got anything else they want to talk about?
Are we doing people?
Would you like a quick rattle through people?

We list more sick people.

We pass round sheets of paper and a stapler to join them together, read the contents and then a discussion breaks out for 30 minutes or so of importance and interest and I wanted it to go on and it might be the trigger to changing the church and then it stops and we go home.

Should I click on 'publish?' Please help me decide.