Thought for the Day

As delivered at BBC Radio Bristol a few minutes ago:

The General Synod of the Church of England continues to meet in York. Later today it votes once again, hopefully definitively this time, on the Women Bishops Measure. Personally, I hope it passes. My own little church has sponsored two women through ordination training recently and has a third in the pipeline. We value women's ministry and leadership. I'd love one of them to reach the top.

The journey to this point has required great patience on the part of many faithful women who feel called to leadership. But also great diplomacy on the part of the current leadership, in drafting legislation that will accommodate those who, in all conscience, feel that tradition or biblical scholarship point to a male priesthood. Keeping a variety of views as complementary rather than contradictory has always been one of the skills of my broad church.

In a previous role I used to travel the country training Church of England youth leaders. Wanting to impress the importance of the task upon some hard-pressed volunteers, who were often working with small numbers, I used to quote the late Mark Ashton:

'Jesus', he said, 'met many people in his life, but he seemed content to make a significant impact in the lives of just a few.'

Adding my own spin to that I would say, 'You may have just a few members but one of them may be a future Archbishop of Canterbury.'

After a dramatic pause for effect I would then say:

'...and I hope you're looking after her.'

It either got a laugh or a wince (it was twenty years ago).

But maybe that will get a little closer to being prophetic in a few hours time. Hope so.

Upper Case Ws and Slow-Moving Vehicles

There comes a time, I believe, when you have to resign on principle. Perhaps the organisation you belong to no longer represents your views and you cannot, in all conscience remain a member. Or the company you work for has embraced a business model you wish to have no part of. Apologies for misplaced prepositions but it's only a blog.

So, last night, our Parochial Church Council was faced with two motions to debate:

1. Are we as a Church in favour of the ordination of Women as Bishops?

2. Are we happy that this legislation is the best that can be achieved and that it sufficiently honours the promises made to provide an honoured place for those who do not agree?

Item 1, as might be expected in a church such as ours, sailed through. There was one vote and speech against but it was of the 'I haven't had enough time to think about it' variety (18 years since women were ordained priest) rather than the 'I disagree on principle.' We are now, as a PCC, in favour of Women as Bishops, although I fail to understand if this is substantially different to being in favour of (lower case) women as bishops.

Item 2 was a bit stranger. I felt that the wording was difficult for me because I'm not sure that the legislation is the best that can be achieved, nor that it sufficiently honours promises made, but I don't care. I would never have made such promises. You can't easily make promises to safeguard dissenters in a democracy. The best you can promise is a vote on the matter in future (cf alternative vote 'promises' and the outcome recently).

I have all along felt that those who cannot accept women as priests should do the honourable thing and leave the C of E. The chair told me if that was the case I should vote yes.

After a truly unimaginative discussion in which no argument seemed to sway opinion especially and no one speaker fervently disagreed with any other and no strong will emerged we took a vote.

I voted in favour of the motion. Everyone else either voted against it or abstained. Everyone else.

I refer to Tom Baker's loony sea-captain in one of the Black Adder series:

Black Adder: Don't you need a crew on a ship as big as this?

Captain: Opinion is divided on the matter. All the other captains say you do; I say you don't.

Christians are rubbish at taking any decision that might hurt anyone even if not taking it will hurt more people, more often and for longer.

I work in the Church of England. Is there any other body out there that moves slower?

Why Women Confuse Me Part 467

St: Shall we try and get up and out in 40 minutes now?
Mrs M: When are we timing that from?

Visual Impact

Since most of us don't, as Val Doonican's Dad urged, 'Walk tall, walk straight and look the world right in the eye,' we tend to encounter legs first as we wander around. Am I a leg man? Only in the sense that they are what I notice first.

There is nothing quite so disappointing as encountering a pair of shapely legs on high heels and to work up through a proportionate and gorgeous body only to arrive at a face with learning difficulties.

This disappointment is as nothing compared to the sense of guilt which follows as, once again, a person of the opposite gender had been judged only by appearance.

There is, come to think of it, another weird feeling, although I have only encountered it a couple of times in my life, when the eye-journey from feet north arrives at a clearly male head.

Anyway to those with good legs, fine bodies and attractive faces, male and female, I thank you. You brighten my day.

Women's Ministry

The whole Wycliffe Hall business, which made page three of the Guardian this week, is quite sad. Back in 1979 Wycliffe was one of the theological colleges at which I considered training. Good point was that we stayed in the Principal's massive house as his personal guests and he, a little man called Jim Higginbottom (not sure of spelling), carried our luggage personally. Bad points were compulsory chapel at 7.30 a.m. and the impossibility of affording property in Oxford. There was no problem over theology.

According to the Church Times today the current Principal, the Rev'd Dr Richard Turnbull, has '...made public his belief that women should not teach men.' What? This man who has lived a stretch of his life through a female Prime Minister, sworn an oath of allegiance to the Queen and, I'll bet a penny to a pound, learned at least some of the things he knows due to the competence of some female primary teachers, does not believe that women should teach men.

'Forgive me father for I have sinned, today I accidentally learned something from a woman.'

'Say three Hail Marys (a woman who may well have accidentally taught Jesus a thing or two by the way) and try not to be so easily influenced next time.'

I sort of get the anti-women's priesthood argument from the Forward-in-Faith bunch. It's a load of old lingerie but at least the argument has an internal consistency. But not letting women teach men? The arrogant stupidity of it all. If we are to believe the resurrection accounts in the Bible we would have had no good news at all if the female witnesses hadn't taught it to some men. On behalf of all reasonable men everywhere (which might be quite a small number) I apologise.

Women Seeking Men

Number of women advertising in the 'Women seeking men' section of the Independent whose age, geographical, interests, height and smoking requirements I was able to meet. Nil.

I was very bored last night.

Cold Day 7

A moment arrived in the bath last night when my head cleared. I wasn't better, but I could think again. I could imagine the possibility of one sentence logically following on from another one. Considerable improvement, my ruder readers cry, in the style of the 'Will I be able to play the piano after the operation, doctor', joke.

As the evening passed I began to feel well and although, one day on, I am still coughing and my temperature guage is a bit wonky, I have provided my family with a cooked meal, changed a bed and am even now contemplating the ironing basket.

I am not particularly sexist, in fact marginally less so than most men, but I have to say that when you are male, and ill, there is no acceptable way of behaving. If you stay in bed you are seen as a complete waster who can't cope with the slightest hint of pain. If you soldier on you are just unable to admit defeat and typically male. If you give voice to your feelings, as often encouraged to, and explain how ill you are, you are told, mainly by looks and gestures, that it's nothing compared to a monthly period pain and childbirth and you should stop moaning. If you keep quiet then the looks and gestures suggest, ' How can I know how to help you unless you tell me what's wrong.' Mates. You gonna lose this one. You gonna lose it all your life so submit to it. Do what the hell you want and take the flack. If you get tea in bed out of it you did well.

Only women know the correct way to behave in the face of illness.

Honourable mentions in the 'comforting me when I was ill' stakes go to:

Underworld. Their albums are very long and don't require too many visits to the CD player.
The Ladykillers. A better Coen Brothers movie than anyone said. You have to remember that what they do is make cartoons with real actors.
Soft choice mansize tissues.
Hot baths.
Lemsip Max strength capsules. The SAS of cold remedies.