Revisited Quotes 2

You can't wish away a historical movement with a couple of soundbites. There isn't a constituence 'Broadcasting House North'... a system that doesn't meet people's needs will be rejected.

Tony Benn, Third Way, September 1996

Revisited Quotes

One of the reasons I like recording quotes is to revisit them some years on:

One of the problems with charismatic Christianity today is the way it is spawning a whole generation of believers who are only capable of finding God in the extraordinary rather than in the ordinary.

Mark Stibbe, Church of England Newspaper, 23/2/96

Up in the Air

What's the job no-one likes? Firing people. So Ryan Bingham, (George Clooney) in this smart movie, plays a nation-circling businessmen who has the job of doing the job no-one likes. And he does it well. He fires people for a living, telling them just the right words to calm them down but never getting emotionally involved. He is aiming for an award from the airline he frequents for miles travelled. On one plane journey he is asked where he comes from and he looks around and says, 'Here.' He spends over 300 days a year away from home. His flat looks emptier than a hotel room. His family don't really know him.

Natalie (Anna Kendrick), a young, female employee straight from business school, joins his company and comes up with a plan for Skype-firing people. This puts Bingham's job on the line but he persuades his boss that she needs to go on the road with him to learn the ropes. She appears more emotionally detached even than Bingham but is looking for love in her private life and has followed a boyfriend to her current home town. Bingham falls for another globe-trotting executive, Alex (Vera Farmiqa), as a casual relationship turns serious.

This is a serious movie (from Jason Reitman, the Director of Juno) with great observation about life, some funny moments and many ponderable quotes. Bingham's firm does well in a recession but we see lots of interviews with those who have lost their jobs, wondering what they are going to do, how they will tell the kids etc. Some of the more poignant moments are simply shots of rooms full of unwanted desks and chairs, or open plan offices where work stations have been removed.

At a time of crisis everything can go up in the air. Bingham asks his interviewees, not particularly sincerely, 'Are you going to make this the start of your dreams?' He promises support and follow-up but then disappears as quickly as possible. He knows it's a hollow promise.

All he wants is their desks cleared and their passes handed back.

One interview leads to disaster. When Bingham is asked if he can remember anything unusual about it (we can) he says no. Is this his genuine memory? Has he so distanced himself that nothing strikes him as extraordinary as he delivers the news that wrecks lives? Or is he covering?

What is the value of a human being?
Where do you come from?
How do you handle crisis moments and turning points?
If you are to be made redundant, how would you like it to happen?
From what do you emotionally detach in order to do your job?

Five star first act; four star the rest. See it.

Wordle

It's difficult to manipulate a wordle (oo er missus) so trust me when I say that I don't have the ability to make it highlight what it currently does:

RIGHT WITHOUT CONSERVATIVES NOW

I couldn't possibly comment.

The Wordle is that word cluster to the right of this text on the sidebar. It makes a cloud of the commonly-used, recent words on the blog.

Customer Services

My email to M&S Customer Services Department:

Thank you for providing four delicious cakes for a birthday party at the weekend. The quality was good and the iced lettering excellent.

It may interest you to know that it is impossible to order four similar birthday cakes through your web-site, with different wording and ages, at the same time without paying for each one separately. We had three birthdays to celebrate at once but had to settle for a generic wording rather than making the cakes different. Thought you'd like to know as we can't be the only people to celebrate a double or triple birthday.

Steve Tilley

Their reply:

Dear Mr Tilley

Thanks for contacting us about ordering cakes with messages on it.

I'm sorry to hear that you had to order it with a generic wording and for any upset or disappointment that this may have caused you. I can advise you that this isn't up to our usual standard of service.

I've looked into your query and can advise you that I've passed this onto the relevant department and they're certainly looking into it. Whenever there's a problem like this we're committed to putting it right and improving our customer services.

Thank you for getting in touch and I hope that you and your family had a great party and best wishes to those who celebrated their birthdays.

If we can be of any further help, please feel free to contact us on ...

Kind Regards

Did we successfully answer your question?

If yes, click here:

If not, click here:

Help. Apart from the disappointing grammar, did they? I'm really not sure that an answer of yes or no even begins to do justice to this question.

Volunteers

A recent tweet, it may still be hanging around, asked the question, 'Why is the church hopeless at looking after its volunteers?'

Now my initial reaction was to be sad. That sort of question normally means, 'Why haven't you looked after me?'

I suspect that is not the case here. Firstly I know the person, who will probably be one of the first people to read this, and he is not a moaner. Secondly he is, although a volunteer himself (after a number of years on the other side of the fence as a paid church employee) more a looker-afterer than a look-after-me sort of person. So the question, I'm guessing, has an element of self-criticism. Morning Dennis by the way. Let's not pretend that anonymity stuff is going to work here. If you don't want people to know you asked the question you shouldn't tweet it.

So, to the question with haste, and first the assumption. Is the church hopeless? And do we mean the universal, catholic church or our church?

A friend walks into your home nursing bruises and asking to borrow some money to get home because he's just been mugged for his wallet and phone. What do you reckon will be his reaction to the news that violent crime is down? Thought not. Two of you with black eyes now.

I have worked in churches as a volunteer and as an ordained member of staff for thirty five years now. As a volunteer I never felt neglected, although if I had I knew I could pick up the phone and have a chat to, or call and see, the clergy or my line-manager.

Since ordination I can count, on the fingers of one hand, the number of people who have stood down because they said they felt uncared for. Fewer than twenty ever picked up the phone and asked for an appointment to discuss the task for which they were currently volunteering. I did the chasing. Maybe there was a small army of the silently-seething out there who I missed. By and large I have been told over the years that I am good at getting the best out of volunteers and supporting them although I appreciate that one angel doesn't mean we are over-run with spiritual support. No, I wasn't calling myself an angel there, just moved from the particular to the general without stopping the flow.

If you feel unsupported you will probably jump to the conclusion that everyone does. Steady now.

My point, for the moment, is no more than this. Clergy are not mind-readers. No-one ever moaned that the doctor didn't visit when they were ill if an appointment hadn't been sought. If you are a volunteer and you are feeling pissed off and uncared for please tell. I am not good at 'hearing the vibe' as it were so I use a pastoral group of three people who tell me what is going on and advise me if a visit or intervention from me would help. Tell us if you want help. We would like, to quote the only management question worth asking, to find out how to help you do your job better.

Of course we can't wave wands (although prayer is good and works). Listening to you may not mean we will be able to do what you want. I am currently over-working my children's volunteers because no-one will come forward to help. I care for the over-worked. Desperately. I have thought long, hard and even creatively about how to help solve the problem and still am. The lack of a solution does not mean I don't care.

Recently, in a church near mine, a volunteer who ran a major ministry, resigned retrospectively with a week to go before the start of a new term's programme. I wonder who cares for the carer who has that done to them?

As a representative of the church I pledge to try and do better in future. One way might be to hold volunteers to account more thoroughly, to discipline if performance is sub-standard and to require that all volunteers tell their line manager how they are doing, by appointment, on a monthly basis. In return we will give nothing but love. Will that cause a steady rise in the number of volunteers? Is a volunteer any less than an employee without a salary?

You may not know that I often start conversations by stating things a bit more bluntly than they actually are. Let's talk, not fight.

Political Strategy

I have spent the last month not thinking politics but tracking down politicians. We have now succeeded in getting some of the candidates at the forthcoming election (March 25th or May 6th, according to those who have had rooms booked by the Council for polling stations) to answer questions, individually, from church members. It is now fixed and this slightly less adversarial/confrontational approach will see the Labour and Lib Dems at the Trinity Centre, Nailsea on 7th Feb and UKIP and the Conservatives at Nailsea Methodist Church on March 7th.

I have now started wondering. Everyone says that the government is doomed. Everyone may be right but I think the current bunch have been politically clumsy, rather than philosophically misguided, by and large.

Here's what I'd love to see them do. The key issue for voters is going to be rebuilding our economy after a difficult recession. The government took the decision to borrow substantially against the future, to ease the current difficulties. The Conservatives would not have done quite so much. They might have overseen a deeper recession with fewer lasting consequences. The issue remains how to pay that money back and over what period.

So why not tell us, Labour Government, precisely what savings you would plan to make if re-elected, and where? Lets talk about cuts. That's what we mean, not savings. No funding for the arts? Cancel the Olympics? Halve the RAF? No new schools for ten years? Privatise more of the NHS? What will it look like?

The Conservatives response, unless they change their spots, will have to be, 'No, it will be far worse than that.'

Then we'll have ourselves an election. Duck Houses, moats and wisteria clearing will all be forgotten.

Well?

Lottery

When our friends were very broke they devised a system. By and large they reckoned that for the next six months, until a grant cheque arrived, they could afford to pay one bill a month. They produced a form letter:

Dear Sir/Madam,

If you persist in sending unpleasant reminders concerning your unpaid bill, which we confirm we have received, your utility/organisation will not be placed in the lottery for payment next month. We are mature students; we have two small children. We will be paying you eventually.

Yours faithfully

Amazingly, although not all got the joke, one or two organisations played along. It was mainly the ones without automatic, reminder-generating software.

I thought of this today. I have a stinking cold. It is my second cold in eight weeks and the first lasted five weeks. What gets done this week will be a bit of a lottery. Speaking engagements will get priority and there are three of those - tonight at Alpha, Wednesday night with the Baptists and Thursday at a quiet day.

Admin stuff will be tackled as fast as I can. If you are expecting some output from me this week praying will be better than nagging.

Well now

A few days without a post usually only means one thing - when the one thing I try and do without fail every day goes missing I am probably not organising my life right. This post is a displacement activity between preparing a seminar for this evening and some preparation for Sunday. It's not even going to be very interesting but just a quick hello, I haven't forgotten you, and then back to work. Will try and be interesting within the next few days but I have a dose of the blogger's occasional problem - the things I wish to talk about can't be posted honestly without identifying others. Others who haven't chosen to go public with the things I want to talk about. Will work it through and see what I can say. Laters.

Poetry Challenge

Last night's poetry challenge was to write a poem about a bunion including the words:

Fracture
Gordon Brown
Turnip
Ouch
Origami
Defenestration
Venice

Written in about 45 minutes here is the result:

How Not to Deal with Bunions

My foot has developed a lump
More of a bump than a hump
I'd like it excised
While it is small-sized
And remains a leg-length from my rump

It won't go by defenestration
Perhaps I could try legislation
I'll ask my MP
To law-make for me
An anti-carbuncle oblation

I laze day-by-day on the couch
Because when I walk I go ouch
Three feet from my right hip
The size of a turnip
I'd love it removed now I vouch

With a nice gondolier called Dennis
The surgeon is on leave in Venice
Instead of foot cutting
He's swimming and putting
Or playing the odd game of tennis

I wonder if I might make bold
And encourage my big toe to fold
But no joy, no rapture
A snap then a fracture
I've broken my foot now I'm told

Immobilised from the knee down
I feel a bit of a clown
Lower limb origami
Was clearly quite barmy
You know who I blame? Gordon Brown

Cafe Create Tonight

Cafe Create is a pre-evangelism event for those who might engage with life through the arts and performance more than science and lecture. Given the nature of the arty community it requires a huge amount of trust, faith and patience to see if any local live acts want to give it a go. We tend to be a last minute bunch. No make that last ten seconds. The danger is of putting on a performance event at which no-one performs and my solo career as a comic/poet/story-teller/musician gets more attention, frankly, than it deserves.

Tonight seems to be a bit of a breakthrough night in Nailsea. I think I have four music acts including some solo fiddle jigs and reels and three guitar-based turns including local musicians some of whom have played together before but not all. This is what it is meant to be like. Plus a guest DJ, a poet and whatever I do to fill the gaps. Bound to be beyond compere.

In my dreams this bi-monthly event has a team who have particular responsibilities and who never meet but simply exchange emails. We have met once but next time we may become virtual in preparation.

Snowball down a hill is a good, and timely, metaphor for this. It needs a momentum. I think, just gently mind, that it is getting it. Do come along and support it if you can.

Christmas 1999

With this one the archive 1985 to date is complete. Read it here.

Right Place; Wrong Time

I've just been listening to the Very Best of Dr John, a wonderful album. It kicks off with a track called Right Place; Wrong Time and for those unfamiliar with the man (put it right soon, there's a love) the lyrics are:

I been in the right place
But it must have been the wrong time
I'd of said the right thing
But I must have used the wrong line
I been in the right trip
But I must have used the wrong car
My head was in a bad place
And I'm wondering what it's good for

I been the right place
But it must have been the wrong time
My head was in a place
But I'm having such a good time
I been running trying to get hung up in my mind
Got to give myself a little talking to this time

Just need a little brain salad surgery
Got to cure this insecurity
I been in the wrong place
But it must have been the right time
I been in the right place
But it must have been the wrong song
I been in the right vein
But it seems like the wrong arm
I been in the right world
But it seems wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong

Slipping, dodging, sneaking
Creeping hiding out down the street
See me life shaking with every who I meet
Refried confusion is making itself clear
Wonder which way do I go to get on out of here

I been in the right place
But it must have been the wrong time
I'd have said the right thing
But I must have used the wrong line
I'd a took the right road
But I must have took a wrong turn
Would have made the right move
But I made it at the wrong time
I been on the right road
But I must have used the wrong car
My head was in a good place
And I wonder what it's bad for

Don't worry for the moment that it sounds like a load of hippy gumbo. He is from New Orleans. It's not meant to make that much sense. Here him perform it here.

My job has three parts. Two are really interesting and one is necessary but doesn't butter my muffin as much as the other two.

I love being the minister in charge of the Trendlewood community and its congregation/church. I enjoy having the freedom to experiment which comes with promoting Fresh Expressions of faith/church/ministry in the whole town and surrounds. Especially the freedom to try and fail. I have done that very successfully.

It looks as if, by the end of my fourth year here, I will have helped to cover two sabbaticals and two vacancies in three benefices. In other words, the full team in which it was imagined I would do my job, will only have been there for 22 out of 48 months. And the full team has reduced by half a member in the last year too.

As a consequence it is too regularly the third part of the job 'acting as a fourth full-time experienced priest in the team' to which I am pulled. And of course, when a vacancy or sabbatical looms, it is unwise to plan to take on too much new stuff.

I am in the right place. I know that. It's maybe still not the right time, yet.

Christmas 1998

Is now published here. Teenagers with personalities; where they come from?

The Opposite of Meaning

I dug up a technique from the past last night. It is an idea so old I really do forget who taught it to me. If it is actually an original thought then I delight in taking all the credit. I fear it is not.

We were in a meeting and read a sentence in a report that caused some people to have a gut 'that's wrong' reaction. The sentence was phrased cautiously. It included the phrase 'It is questionable...' But it got to people and made them angry. No matter how hard I tried to suggest that it was a cautious opinion rather than an absolute we got a bit entrenched.

Here's the idea that sometimes breaks the log jam. If those who insist a statement is absolutely wrong will not budge then put it to them that in that case the opposite of the statement must be absolutely true.

An example.

It is questionable whether Bill will ever be fully able to do his job as long as Ron remains employed by this company.

'That's outrageous' scream the critics. 'Ron shouldn't be sacked. It's not his fault.' They miss the point. No-one is calling for Ron's sacking, but simply suggesting that Ron's very presence, for whatever reason, makes Bill's life difficult. But they don't get it.

So let's try the opposite. They should, if their argument holds, agree with that:

It is obvious that Bill will become fully competent at his job if Ron is dismissed.

Is it? Perhaps not. It is possible, but there may turn out to be more to it than that. It is certainly not obvious.

If the opposite is not completely right then the original premiss cannot be completely wrong.

There is still some work to do to find the exact truth but the two warring factions may have been moved a little closer to each other.

It's effective. It helped us move on last night.

2009 in Facebook Status

Sunday Coming

For anyone from Trendlewood Church who drops in here please pop over to Trendleblog for important information about tomorrow re parking and travel.

Leaving Church

I've been hearing, directly and indirectly, from quite a few people who are thinking of leaving church or changing churches. I found this post by Pastor Tim Stevens and I thought it was excellent. I live in the real world. I know it is difficult to discuss leaving your church with your minister. But it is worth it. Especially if it is a small church and you will be missed.

Christmas 1997

Christmas letters turn a bit surreal with a spoof version followed by a real one and a bit of a mix up in the date/time continuum between Friday and Saturday in senior son's life. Read it here.

Ornithology Corner

Gulls notoriously dislike confined spaces. They need quite a bit of room to take off and land so will very rarely land in a small, fenced or walled garden.

But they will risk it when they are cold and hungry. Fifteen black-headed gulls and one immature common gull have just finished fighting over some old bread and cake I soaked and threw out on the lawn. Feeding frenzy doesn't begin to describe it.

Nice pair of blackcaps on the bird feeder though.

Christmas 1996

A letter from the whole family with the signs of blossoming sarcasm skills in the next generation. So proud. Read it here. Parenting teenagers was fun. I kind of miss them.

Jesus on Wheels

A reminder that JoW is looking for far-off places to visit in 2010. Email me and tell me when you are going somewhere and I will get him to you. All I ask is a digital photo or two as evidence.

Nice picture of Gozo here. Sigh. Five more months. No snow there.

Come to think of it it doesn't have to be that far off. He may as well visit this country too.

More shots with different arm positions please. If you've got it, why not flaunt it.

Margaret Pippen RIP

Had quite an eventful funeral today. I needed to get a lift to the crem in the undertaker's 4 wheel drive. My attempt to drive out of my road failed at the first bend and I only just succeeded in reversing back into my drive.

4 x 4s were also the method of transport for all the mourners, as limousines were unusable today. And the coffin. With a stoical spirit we got to South Bristol crem on time and then returned to Nailsea for a memorial service.

Margaret's daughter had emigrated to Australia and Margaret's favourite song was John Farnham's The Voice. It was a big 1980s song and has such production values (OTT) but as an end to the memorial service its intro was very powerful. Hear a version of it here where Farnham joins Coldplay on stage in Australia to perform it.

Over a few drinks after the service I met a delightful selection of longstanding Nailsea folk (most people here don't come from here) for a great natter.

I also take away with me an interesting question. Someone asked if I knew the whereabouts of the grave of an unnamed stillborn baby, buried in our cemetery in the 1950s. The only evidence available is an undertaker's fee including a minister's charge for burial. The question had remained unasked for 50 years. I am the same age as that child would have been.

False Community

In a series of talks on popular culture in the 1990s Bishop Graham Cray (then just the Rev'd) was fond of talking about the new phenomenon of 'False community.' He noted that people loved crowds but would travel to massive events in small groups, join with the thousands in holding their lighters (later mobile phones) up in the air, then leave with their friends having never engaged with anyone outside the small community with whom they arrived.

Last night on BBC 2 part 1 of 'The History of Now; the Story of the Noughties' was aired. It took this idea one step further. Some rock journalists noted that during the Led Zeppelin re-union gig at the O2 Arena, and in the middle of Stairway to Heaven no less, many people were more engaged in ordering drinks from passing sales staff than with the most anthemic rock song ever, probably being performed live for the last time.

The commentators observed that the point of such events now was no longer to enjoy them but to say that you had been there and got the video capture or stills. And they noted that audiences will spend huge amounts of money on this. I have written previously about my frustration at the background chat during quieter moments of gigs by sensitive artists such as Elbow or Zero 7.

Yet the programme continued to say that the amount of money younger people are prepared to pay to purchase music (download or hard copy) is, wait for it, nothing. Why should they, it was figured, when they can make an outstanding dub-step tune in their own bedroom and post it on YouTube within minutes. So Prince gives away his latest CD with the Mail on Sunday (that's right, I said the Mail on Sunday, how weird is that, they were surely slagging off his on-stage antics some years ago?) and follows it up by selling out twenty-one nights at the 02 Arena and makes squillions of pounds in the process.

What does this say to those of us who go to a lot of trouble to make the worship experience in our churches a great event? Will we find it easy to get newcomers to a special event but increasingly difficult to get them to listen, watch or take part? Should we sell them souvenirs but allow them to take pictures? Should there be an entry fee for Sunday but a free, downloadable course to engage with the content? Maybe at a wedding we should point people to a web-site that includes discussion questions and marriage MOTs, rather than preaching.

Interesting programme. Got, as you can see, me thinking. It's a three-parter. Catch it.

Heading for Epiphany

You turned up late with presents. Made up for your lack of punctuality with gifts but then clawed back the goodwill by making the gesture symbolic. You followed the stars; more Russell Grant than Patrick Moore in those days I'd warrant. Three gifts but not necessarily three of you.

How real were you? A poor Jewish family gets gold and it makes no difference? Gets no further mention? Come on. Nothing elsewhere in the Bible; just a Matthean construction to make Isaiah 60 truer? Who knows.

Let's just take the story and live with it. Shepherds tell us Jesus is good news for the poor, uneducated scumbag. Wise men tell us he is good news for the rich and learned, for the time being, until they realise he wants his hands on their cash.

If he has appeared to you, ever, what have you given him back? Now that's the question. Live with it. Jesus is not an easy option.

Christmas 1995

Anyone wanting tips on how not to parent teenagers should read the next exciting instalment of our Christmas news letter cunningly disguised as a play. It's here.

Christmas 1994

The latest instalment is now published here. Cynicism getting less and less healthy, children increasingly the subject of abuse and yet the readability seems to be improving. Five years to complete the archive.

Crumbs of Comfort

I didn't hit him, apart from in my imagination, but I found myself getting very irritated by a guy who parked in the disabled space at the local shop this lunchtime. Until this thought occurred to me, that is.

If someone is so lazy that they park in a disabled space rather than enduring the 30 metre walk from the other side of the car park, then it is almost inevitable that this will render them more likely to be disabled in later years due to an over-sedentary lifestyle. At that point they will probably become quite irritated themselves at the selfish behaviour of the generation they bred. Tough titty. May their hips ache unto death.

I resolve that this will be the year I make a set of sticky labels to keep in my wallet saying 'I am a selfish git and park in disabled spaces when I am in a hurry.' I will attach these to offending vehicles.

Thank you. I feel better now.

The Clangers

Since we were sitting under the bell tower it seemed an apt name for our quiz team. Two couples, one with their three children made our seven strong squad. And although the point of this is not to brag about our one point, coming up on the rails, victory, it is worth saying something about every member ministry. Oh yes; it's a sermon point.

If child T hadn't known precisely which Harry Potter film the still was taken from. If child T2 hadn't watched so many episodes of the Simpsons. If child C hadn't seen many animated movies. If adult L hadn't recalled the name of the only woman to join the Red Arrows. If I hadn't a ridiculously thorough knowledge of World Cup host nations then all the genius and knowledge of adults A and J would have come to nothing.

Do your bit. Help the team win.

We won by one point. Did I mention that? Chocolates will be available to all at church on Sunday.