Wednesday, March 30, 2011
The Wire Revisited
theipaper has no web-site yet but can be followed on Twitter if you click the link. On Monday the paper shared a link to a site where a blogger has reimagined cult TV series The Wire as a Victorian Dickensian comic booklet series. What do you think? Find out here.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Humility
I was having a bit of a think about humility today. About time too I hear you say, and you'd probably be right.
I was once part of a team who devised and used a training game in which different qualities an ideal youth worker might need were printed out on cards and priced. It was a small part. I edited the rules. Participants were given a certain amount of money to equip themselves by purchasing qualities. The game was called Fruit.
If you want a taster, consider this list and ask yourself which three you might take if you could only have three:
Approachability
Bible Knowledge
Commitment
Communication Skills
Dynamism
Encouragement
Enthusiasm
Evangelism
Experience
Gentleness
Healing
Humility
Leadership
Music
Pastoral heart
Prayer
Servant heart
Sporty
Trendiness
Vision
Vulnerability
If Godstuff has got its act together (a long shot but it may happen one day) then you will be able to purchase the game from their web site http://www.godstuff.org.uk/. It look as if this link takes you straight to the game but whether or not they have any available is anyone's guess. It's best learned by playing anyway.
During one session of playing the game with a group of leaders we heard someone shout out, quite loudly, 'Humility? What would I want that for?' And we all knew, in a moment. Did any of you choose it?
In the world's slowest journey through Luke's gospel our leadership team, after reading it for a year and a bit, have reached chapter 14. Jesus, in a piece of parallelism from chapter 13, once again heals on the Sabbath but then starts to question his company's humility, for they all take the best places at the meal table.
Being a healer puts you in quite a prominent position and makes it inevitable that people will watch you. Jesus' approach to humility is not to step back and allow others to lead but to take control, heal and speak about the significance of what he has done. Then he lectures the prominent Pharisee's guests on a true humility - take the lower places at table and allow others to move you higher if they deem you worthy. Throw dinner parties for those who won't invite you back.
Later in that meeting it was suggested by a colleague that I might consider tutoring a mission course. A guest from the diocesan evangelism department said that if I wanted to do that I should submit a pro-forma of my skills and experience.
Humility dilemma. I don't want to submit an application to do more work. I want others to notice areas where I might be useful and invite me to contribute. I think Jesus demonstrates that a true humility is found in being aware of your own areas of expertise and yet being willing to wash feet. Or perhaps in assuming that someone more important than you is bound to turn up yet not missing the opportunity to speak on a subject you know something about. I found myself thinking this:
I worked as a professional trainer for ten years. I have been the guest of this diocese as the main speaker at a training event on more than one occasion. I have run training the trainers sessions. I am possibly the most experienced trainer in the room. And you want me to submit my CV? Do you not know? Have you not seen?
And of course at this point I get quite Messianic and humility skulks out through the obviously imaginary cat-flap.
I have never wanted to be photographed with a celebrity or sports star unless the reason we were in the same picture was absolutely genuine and not forced. This is a totally arrogant position because it means what I want is to be the one people want to be photographed with. Down boy.
I want to be famous but not by doing reality TV shows or pushing myself forward but by being noticed humbly getting on with my day-to-day ministry alongside people and making a difference in their lives. I am a mess. I want to be a great author but not to self-promote. I know my book is for sale on the side-bar but you won't know how hard it is for me to do that.
To summarise. I am not humble in all circumstances. I am in some. In others I don't know what a humble person would do.
You?
I was once part of a team who devised and used a training game in which different qualities an ideal youth worker might need were printed out on cards and priced. It was a small part. I edited the rules. Participants were given a certain amount of money to equip themselves by purchasing qualities. The game was called Fruit.
If you want a taster, consider this list and ask yourself which three you might take if you could only have three:
Approachability
Bible Knowledge
Commitment
Communication Skills
Dynamism
Encouragement
Enthusiasm
Evangelism
Experience
Gentleness
Healing
Humility
Leadership
Music
Pastoral heart
Prayer
Servant heart
Sporty
Trendiness
Vision
Vulnerability
If Godstuff has got its act together (a long shot but it may happen one day) then you will be able to purchase the game from their web site http://www.godstuff.org.uk/. It look as if this link takes you straight to the game but whether or not they have any available is anyone's guess. It's best learned by playing anyway.
During one session of playing the game with a group of leaders we heard someone shout out, quite loudly, 'Humility? What would I want that for?' And we all knew, in a moment. Did any of you choose it?
In the world's slowest journey through Luke's gospel our leadership team, after reading it for a year and a bit, have reached chapter 14. Jesus, in a piece of parallelism from chapter 13, once again heals on the Sabbath but then starts to question his company's humility, for they all take the best places at the meal table.
Being a healer puts you in quite a prominent position and makes it inevitable that people will watch you. Jesus' approach to humility is not to step back and allow others to lead but to take control, heal and speak about the significance of what he has done. Then he lectures the prominent Pharisee's guests on a true humility - take the lower places at table and allow others to move you higher if they deem you worthy. Throw dinner parties for those who won't invite you back.
Later in that meeting it was suggested by a colleague that I might consider tutoring a mission course. A guest from the diocesan evangelism department said that if I wanted to do that I should submit a pro-forma of my skills and experience.
Humility dilemma. I don't want to submit an application to do more work. I want others to notice areas where I might be useful and invite me to contribute. I think Jesus demonstrates that a true humility is found in being aware of your own areas of expertise and yet being willing to wash feet. Or perhaps in assuming that someone more important than you is bound to turn up yet not missing the opportunity to speak on a subject you know something about. I found myself thinking this:
I worked as a professional trainer for ten years. I have been the guest of this diocese as the main speaker at a training event on more than one occasion. I have run training the trainers sessions. I am possibly the most experienced trainer in the room. And you want me to submit my CV? Do you not know? Have you not seen?
And of course at this point I get quite Messianic and humility skulks out through the obviously imaginary cat-flap.
I have never wanted to be photographed with a celebrity or sports star unless the reason we were in the same picture was absolutely genuine and not forced. This is a totally arrogant position because it means what I want is to be the one people want to be photographed with. Down boy.
I want to be famous but not by doing reality TV shows or pushing myself forward but by being noticed humbly getting on with my day-to-day ministry alongside people and making a difference in their lives. I am a mess. I want to be a great author but not to self-promote. I know my book is for sale on the side-bar but you won't know how hard it is for me to do that.
To summarise. I am not humble in all circumstances. I am in some. In others I don't know what a humble person would do.
You?
Friday, March 25, 2011
Garage Sale
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Gentle Racism
I want to have a bit of an explore of the subject of racism again and may, because that's the only way to do it, risk getting it a bit wrong in order to see if I am right. I'll explain.
Last night George Kovoor, Principal of Trinity College, Bristol, spoke at the Nailsea Churches Together Lent Course. There is a recording of what he said available at the Methodist Church if this post prompts anyone to want to listen.
George is Indian. Proudly Indian. He reminded us of the multi-cultural melting pot that is India and the mixture of people of major faiths in his country. Even the minor faiths have millions of adherents.
He told a couple of gentle, fun-poking jokes about Indians. He said that it was OK for him to tell them but if we told them it would be racist. One was so old that I think I told it in the school yard before I knew what racism was. He gave testimony of the appallingly ignorant way he was treated by a Church Warden in a Midlands Church. No way to treat a Chaplain to the Queen. Mind you he describes himself as The Chaplain to the Queen which suggests he is the only one. There are many.
He told us India was mentioned in the Bible, although anyone looking in the Book of Ruth, as he suggested, will be disappointed. It's in Esther.
Now in this context he said one or two things, in a jokey way, about English culture. Why don't we smile more? Why do we boil potatoes and serve them without spices? Is the former a useful corrective or a failure to understand a culture? Is the latter a massive generalisation in a country that is learning to cook better?
Now one thing about being a mature ethnic grouping is the ability not to care terribly much if someone takes the piss out of us. We recognise stereotypes when we hear them knocked and laugh too, because we know we're not all like that but we can be or have been.
Here's the punchy bit. We have stopped telling jokes like that ourselves because we know that other, less mature ethnic groupings take offence as part of the state of coming to maturity. Is that a fair thing to say?
His subject 'A God for All Faiths?' was not treated the way we expected but was treated fascinatingly and grippingly. He is one of those speakers who leaves you hanging on his every word because you are convinced he is about to say something outrageous. That he never quite does is a matter of brilliant technique to keep an audience listening long. I have no problem with 75 minute talks if they are like that. I have some problems with dull 10 minute talks.
It was a great, thought-provoking talk on many levels and revisited quite a few texts which white, Anglo-Saxon Caucasians may have misappropriated.
Now, I wonder whether being a church with a reputation for a bit of gentle craziness will be an antidote for the 'boring' tag with which the church in this country has been labelled. Time to write that Press Release.
Last night George Kovoor, Principal of Trinity College, Bristol, spoke at the Nailsea Churches Together Lent Course. There is a recording of what he said available at the Methodist Church if this post prompts anyone to want to listen.
George is Indian. Proudly Indian. He reminded us of the multi-cultural melting pot that is India and the mixture of people of major faiths in his country. Even the minor faiths have millions of adherents.
He told a couple of gentle, fun-poking jokes about Indians. He said that it was OK for him to tell them but if we told them it would be racist. One was so old that I think I told it in the school yard before I knew what racism was. He gave testimony of the appallingly ignorant way he was treated by a Church Warden in a Midlands Church. No way to treat a Chaplain to the Queen. Mind you he describes himself as The Chaplain to the Queen which suggests he is the only one. There are many.
He told us India was mentioned in the Bible, although anyone looking in the Book of Ruth, as he suggested, will be disappointed. It's in Esther.
Now in this context he said one or two things, in a jokey way, about English culture. Why don't we smile more? Why do we boil potatoes and serve them without spices? Is the former a useful corrective or a failure to understand a culture? Is the latter a massive generalisation in a country that is learning to cook better?
Now one thing about being a mature ethnic grouping is the ability not to care terribly much if someone takes the piss out of us. We recognise stereotypes when we hear them knocked and laugh too, because we know we're not all like that but we can be or have been.
Here's the punchy bit. We have stopped telling jokes like that ourselves because we know that other, less mature ethnic groupings take offence as part of the state of coming to maturity. Is that a fair thing to say?
His subject 'A God for All Faiths?' was not treated the way we expected but was treated fascinatingly and grippingly. He is one of those speakers who leaves you hanging on his every word because you are convinced he is about to say something outrageous. That he never quite does is a matter of brilliant technique to keep an audience listening long. I have no problem with 75 minute talks if they are like that. I have some problems with dull 10 minute talks.
It was a great, thought-provoking talk on many levels and revisited quite a few texts which white, Anglo-Saxon Caucasians may have misappropriated.
Now, I wonder whether being a church with a reputation for a bit of gentle craziness will be an antidote for the 'boring' tag with which the church in this country has been labelled. Time to write that Press Release.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Very Short Stories
A long, long time ago, possibly when I was still a child, someone told me the world's shortest ghost story. It went like this:
The last man on earth sat in a room.
There was a knock at the door.
Does anyone else know any examples of the world's shortest (genre) story?
The last man on earth sat in a room.
There was a knock at the door.
Does anyone else know any examples of the world's shortest (genre) story?
Monday, March 21, 2011
Amazing Flexibility
I was sitting on a bench outside Holy Trinity Church whilst waiting for something else to happen and my twelve year old self sat down next to me for a chat. This happens from time to time.
The train of thought had begun a few hours earlier when a candidate just back from a Bishop's selection conference for the ministry had been chatting to me about the constant stream of texts from home which had arrived while she was there. Encouraging and yet also, in a strange way, distracting.
I went to my Selection Conference at the same place as her in 1979. I queued at the telephone kiosk for a once-a-night call home.
My twelve year old self is interested that I appear to be making words appear on a screen. I explain that I am updating a web-site using a Nokia x6 mobile phone. Then I have to explain what a mobile phone is, what a web-site is, who Nokia are and, because I was quite dumb aged twelve, what updating means.
Can you believe how much we have done since 1967? My twelve year old self would have no idea what half the things on my desk today do. As inaccessible as the uses of his grandfather's woodworking tools, which were from a previous century and sat on a work bench in neat order.
A moment's pause for thought to remember to stop taking things for granted.
The train of thought had begun a few hours earlier when a candidate just back from a Bishop's selection conference for the ministry had been chatting to me about the constant stream of texts from home which had arrived while she was there. Encouraging and yet also, in a strange way, distracting.
I went to my Selection Conference at the same place as her in 1979. I queued at the telephone kiosk for a once-a-night call home.
My twelve year old self is interested that I appear to be making words appear on a screen. I explain that I am updating a web-site using a Nokia x6 mobile phone. Then I have to explain what a mobile phone is, what a web-site is, who Nokia are and, because I was quite dumb aged twelve, what updating means.
Can you believe how much we have done since 1967? My twelve year old self would have no idea what half the things on my desk today do. As inaccessible as the uses of his grandfather's woodworking tools, which were from a previous century and sat on a work bench in neat order.
A moment's pause for thought to remember to stop taking things for granted.
Friday, March 18, 2011
A Bit of a Clean Up
As promised some months ago I am retiring off the blog name Mustard Seed Shavings. My book of that title is published today. What do you mean you didn't know? Click on the sidebar link at once to buy two copies (one to give to a seeking friend). It's relatively cheap, short, easy to read and contains a joke.
Thanks for the cards and champagne Mrs Mustard. She's a scream. What shall I call her now?
So I pondered for a while and chatted to a few people. One day I will call something The Third Thing I Thought Of which is currently my favourite title for anything. I explained why here. But for the next phase of its life I wanted another metaphor for someone grasping for the raw stuff of faith in a material world.
Please welcome the new look and strapline with your usual aplomb.
Thanks for the cards and champagne Mrs Mustard. She's a scream. What shall I call her now?
So I pondered for a while and chatted to a few people. One day I will call something The Third Thing I Thought Of which is currently my favourite title for anything. I explained why here. But for the next phase of its life I wanted another metaphor for someone grasping for the raw stuff of faith in a material world.
Please welcome the new look and strapline with your usual aplomb.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Odd One Out
Every now and again I notice how the bathroom products resemble things our ancestors would have hunted or gathered so, eyes down, which is the one I made up? No googling now:
Cassia Energy Sport Hair and Body Wash
Sweet Peel Compote Exfoliate
Refreshing Mint and Apple Catalysing Shampoo
Foaming Rice Cleanser
Bracing Silver Burch Body Wash
Olive Thyme Mandarin Facial Wash
Cassia Energy Sport Hair and Body Wash
Sweet Peel Compote Exfoliate
Refreshing Mint and Apple Catalysing Shampoo
Foaming Rice Cleanser
Bracing Silver Burch Body Wash
Olive Thyme Mandarin Facial Wash
The Dangers of Labelling
This follows on from my post a couple of days ago about not belonging to Christian sub-groups. If you missed that you might find it helpful to go here first.
We have had a lot of discussion over the last few years about packaging. Where was your shirt made? What is it made of? How many calories are there in it and will it contain anything hypo-allergenic. My shirt contains a single nut but let's not go there.
In a world where everything is labelled (cue the movie-trailer voice) one man refuses to put his story on the packaging.
You see as I grew into this whole Jesus-following, truth-seeking business I discovered that people, knowing the church which had brought me to discover shavings of mustard seed in the first place and my journey through training, would ask questions. Are you an evangelical? Are you a conservative evangelical? Are you a charismatic? Are you sound? Are you thoroughly biblical? Do you denounce liberalism and all its ways?
The answers to these have changed over the years and have all, at one time or another, been yes, no and not sure.
I was talking to a Bishop I know on Monday. The bishops of Bath and Wells visit all the clergy in their diocese during Lent over a three year period. Good work. Thanks. In reference to my evangelical credentials I was asked 'You tick all the boxes don't you?' Do I? Three days later I realise I avoided the question.
So part two of my plan for the last ten years of full-time ordained ministry, my second conclusion in my continuing journey of faith is this. I'm going to take the labels off my garments. Labels can be for other people. You watch me and if it helps to decide what I am called then call me it. I won't self-designate any more. It won't be that hard; I've virtually stopped anyway.
I recall my dislike of my school nickname of Willy. I could, with a concerted effort, have become incredibly unpopular by telling everyone who ever used it that I didn't like it and would like it changed, getting teacher support (as if, in those days) if I dared. It would have been like turning back a tsunami.
I am, from now on, seeking to express my conviction that Jesus is worth following, in the freshest words I can find for each person I meet. You may attach labels if you so wish. Hopefully not Willy.
We have had a lot of discussion over the last few years about packaging. Where was your shirt made? What is it made of? How many calories are there in it and will it contain anything hypo-allergenic. My shirt contains a single nut but let's not go there.
In a world where everything is labelled (cue the movie-trailer voice) one man refuses to put his story on the packaging.
You see as I grew into this whole Jesus-following, truth-seeking business I discovered that people, knowing the church which had brought me to discover shavings of mustard seed in the first place and my journey through training, would ask questions. Are you an evangelical? Are you a conservative evangelical? Are you a charismatic? Are you sound? Are you thoroughly biblical? Do you denounce liberalism and all its ways?
The answers to these have changed over the years and have all, at one time or another, been yes, no and not sure.
I was talking to a Bishop I know on Monday. The bishops of Bath and Wells visit all the clergy in their diocese during Lent over a three year period. Good work. Thanks. In reference to my evangelical credentials I was asked 'You tick all the boxes don't you?' Do I? Three days later I realise I avoided the question.
So part two of my plan for the last ten years of full-time ordained ministry, my second conclusion in my continuing journey of faith is this. I'm going to take the labels off my garments. Labels can be for other people. You watch me and if it helps to decide what I am called then call me it. I won't self-designate any more. It won't be that hard; I've virtually stopped anyway.
I recall my dislike of my school nickname of Willy. I could, with a concerted effort, have become incredibly unpopular by telling everyone who ever used it that I didn't like it and would like it changed, getting teacher support (as if, in those days) if I dared. It would have been like turning back a tsunami.
I am, from now on, seeking to express my conviction that Jesus is worth following, in the freshest words I can find for each person I meet. You may attach labels if you so wish. Hopefully not Willy.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Big Blogger
St
Strewth you surprised me. How long you been in that cupboard?
BB
Not as long as some of the rubbish you have in here. Malta uses the Euro now you know.
St
Yeah, yeah good point. I expect you'll be nagging me about the state of my study too.
(Beat)
OK, the silent treatment. I'll de-clutter it.
BB
See that wasn't so bad. The longest of journeys starts with one step and all that.
St
Thing is I need more than a one step programme. I need to join de-clutterers anonymous. My name's St and I've been putting things down when I should throw them out for years.
BB
Why do you do that?
St
I don't know BB. I often put left-over food in the fridge for three days before chucking it. Likewise I put ex computer hardware on a shelf for three years for similar reasons. And of course some stuff just demands to be kept because one day it will become a training activity.
BB
Bag handles?
St
Same to you. But yes, bag handles come under that heading.
BB
That can't be the whole reason though.
St
You're right. In fact the busier I get the clutterier I become but in a minimalist household a lot of clutter gravitates towards my rooms.
BB
So, ten lines in and we get to the bottom of it. You're too busy.
St
I guess so. I hate to admit it but in my line of work it's a bit cyclical. To get things done, from time to time you have to be too busy. The knack is to accept the quieter times and relax rather than to go looking for things to do.
BB
Wise words St. If only you listened to them.
St
Ouch.
(Beat)
I love the way you just let the pain hurt rather than hugging and stuff.
BB
Hugging would make me feel better but it might stop you acknowledging your problem.
St
I also love the way we share a view of the world.
BB
So you can sing in harmony with the voices in your head. Don't be that proud.
St
Ouch
(Beat)
Ouch
(Beat)
Ouch
BB
Better?
St
Yes thanks.
Big Blogger is St's imaginary friend who pops along and puts him through the mincer every now and then when he needs to acknowledge his sins in public in order to change.
Strewth you surprised me. How long you been in that cupboard?
BB
Not as long as some of the rubbish you have in here. Malta uses the Euro now you know.
St
Yeah, yeah good point. I expect you'll be nagging me about the state of my study too.
(Beat)
OK, the silent treatment. I'll de-clutter it.
BB
See that wasn't so bad. The longest of journeys starts with one step and all that.
St
Thing is I need more than a one step programme. I need to join de-clutterers anonymous. My name's St and I've been putting things down when I should throw them out for years.
BB
Why do you do that?
St
I don't know BB. I often put left-over food in the fridge for three days before chucking it. Likewise I put ex computer hardware on a shelf for three years for similar reasons. And of course some stuff just demands to be kept because one day it will become a training activity.
BB
Bag handles?
St
Same to you. But yes, bag handles come under that heading.
BB
That can't be the whole reason though.
St
You're right. In fact the busier I get the clutterier I become but in a minimalist household a lot of clutter gravitates towards my rooms.
BB
So, ten lines in and we get to the bottom of it. You're too busy.
St
I guess so. I hate to admit it but in my line of work it's a bit cyclical. To get things done, from time to time you have to be too busy. The knack is to accept the quieter times and relax rather than to go looking for things to do.
BB
Wise words St. If only you listened to them.
St
Ouch.
(Beat)
I love the way you just let the pain hurt rather than hugging and stuff.
BB
Hugging would make me feel better but it might stop you acknowledging your problem.
St
I also love the way we share a view of the world.
BB
So you can sing in harmony with the voices in your head. Don't be that proud.
St
Ouch
(Beat)
Ouch
(Beat)
Ouch
BB
Better?
St
Yes thanks.
Big Blogger is St's imaginary friend who pops along and puts him through the mincer every now and then when he needs to acknowledge his sins in public in order to change.
Diocesan News
A few years ago I decided not to join any Christian organisation except the Church of England. It seemed to me that every time someone had a beef about anything a pressure group was being formed. And all extra-curricular activities were being run by separate organisations rather than churches.
ABWON, MORIB, EGGS, Reform, FIF, New Wine, Eclectics and others all sought my membership or support at some time or other. Bonus mark if you can remember what they all are.
One of the troubles with all this is that organisations set up to support the Church of England ended up setting up parallel structures and programmes, then left you feeling guilty if you didn't do their thing. This is a bold statement from an ex-employee of CPAS but trust me when I say I never, in my ten years helping churches with youthwork, lost sight of the fact that it was the churches' agenda which was leading us; not vice versa.
So I am excited about Holy Trinity and Trendlewood's vision to be a hub of help to other churches in the south-west. Our Trinity Project is not about buildings but about collecting together plant, kit and expertise that can resource others if they want it.
In that context it is important that we tie ourselves into a bigger structure and that structure should be the Church of England. So I really want to encourage my local followers to be enthusiastic readers of Diocesan communication - e-bulletins, Connect, Manna (the magazine) all do a discreet job and will be the better if we engage with them. Swamp the diocesan communications office with correspondence.
You might start with the diocesan web-site. Click here to give it a viewing and tell them what you think. Don't mince words. We're all pretty thick-skinned. We? Yes, I have a bit to do with all this and can't think of any way of making it better other than getting quality feedback.
ABWON, MORIB, EGGS, Reform, FIF, New Wine, Eclectics and others all sought my membership or support at some time or other. Bonus mark if you can remember what they all are.
One of the troubles with all this is that organisations set up to support the Church of England ended up setting up parallel structures and programmes, then left you feeling guilty if you didn't do their thing. This is a bold statement from an ex-employee of CPAS but trust me when I say I never, in my ten years helping churches with youthwork, lost sight of the fact that it was the churches' agenda which was leading us; not vice versa.
So I am excited about Holy Trinity and Trendlewood's vision to be a hub of help to other churches in the south-west. Our Trinity Project is not about buildings but about collecting together plant, kit and expertise that can resource others if they want it.
In that context it is important that we tie ourselves into a bigger structure and that structure should be the Church of England. So I really want to encourage my local followers to be enthusiastic readers of Diocesan communication - e-bulletins, Connect, Manna (the magazine) all do a discreet job and will be the better if we engage with them. Swamp the diocesan communications office with correspondence.
You might start with the diocesan web-site. Click here to give it a viewing and tell them what you think. Don't mince words. We're all pretty thick-skinned. We? Yes, I have a bit to do with all this and can't think of any way of making it better other than getting quality feedback.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Five Year Service
I received an interesting email this week. It was from the Diocesan Office and said:
Your Quinquennial is due this year and I would like to arrange for the Surveyor to visit you on Thursday 6 October at 10 a.m. to carry out the Quinquennial.
Please would you kindly let me know if this is convenient, if not would you let me know what dates and times after that date would be more suitable.
A quinquennial is a five year check. Of course I wrote back immediately and asked if the surveyor would be doing the house at the same time, which was confirmed. But wouldn't it be brilliant if all clergy were required to undergo a thorough five year assessment to see if we were still fit for purpose and what cracks have appeared that need fixing?
Your Quinquennial is due this year and I would like to arrange for the Surveyor to visit you on Thursday 6 October at 10 a.m. to carry out the Quinquennial.
Please would you kindly let me know if this is convenient, if not would you let me know what dates and times after that date would be more suitable.
A quinquennial is a five year check. Of course I wrote back immediately and asked if the surveyor would be doing the house at the same time, which was confirmed. But wouldn't it be brilliant if all clergy were required to undergo a thorough five year assessment to see if we were still fit for purpose and what cracks have appeared that need fixing?
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Spring in the Air Vicar
I have never really been S.A.D although there are times over the last few weeks when I have felt, unusually for me, that I wasn't completely happy. Not being given to extremes of emotions means I am rarely particularly up or down; just chugging along. It is why I don't look pleased to see you. I'm not, especially. That and the facial injury I got aged fourteen which caused the visual interface to malfunction, as a friend kindly puts it.
Anyway I got a bit more cheerful in the last few days and as the sun has been out a bit I wonder if it's that. You have to be very wary of arguments from coincidence. It can't be that West Brom beating Birmingham, England beating South Africa and pancakes being great could have that much significance.
On Tuesday I sat in a different seat to normal at our monthly wider leadership team meeting. I usually let guests have the comfy seats but on Tuesday one was left vacant. It then happened that the agenda for our meeting was more than usually relevant and engaging for me. When I get wrapped up in a discussion a switch goes off and I become louder, creative, ruder and generally the meeting gets a bit of craic. Some then complain afterwards that I was obnoxious. Not unreasonably since most creatives have this evil intern living within.
Thing is, some were saying it was the seat. Whilst getting a different perspective on a group of people by not always sitting in the same chair is good, saying that it caused all the change is not much different to lucky pants syndrome.
At one point I was accused of mellow subversion. I loved that, although I'm pretty sure she was a backing singer in a jazz combo I used to know.
I told a mate. Great he said. I'll do recumbent anarchy and we'll make a great team.
Introducing mellow subversion and recumbent anarchy. If you want to join us you must have a great name. Good morning.
Anyway I got a bit more cheerful in the last few days and as the sun has been out a bit I wonder if it's that. You have to be very wary of arguments from coincidence. It can't be that West Brom beating Birmingham, England beating South Africa and pancakes being great could have that much significance.
On Tuesday I sat in a different seat to normal at our monthly wider leadership team meeting. I usually let guests have the comfy seats but on Tuesday one was left vacant. It then happened that the agenda for our meeting was more than usually relevant and engaging for me. When I get wrapped up in a discussion a switch goes off and I become louder, creative, ruder and generally the meeting gets a bit of craic. Some then complain afterwards that I was obnoxious. Not unreasonably since most creatives have this evil intern living within.
Thing is, some were saying it was the seat. Whilst getting a different perspective on a group of people by not always sitting in the same chair is good, saying that it caused all the change is not much different to lucky pants syndrome.
At one point I was accused of mellow subversion. I loved that, although I'm pretty sure she was a backing singer in a jazz combo I used to know.
I told a mate. Great he said. I'll do recumbent anarchy and we'll make a great team.
Introducing mellow subversion and recumbent anarchy. If you want to join us you must have a great name. Good morning.
Tuesday, March 08, 2011
Tell Me About Yourself
Postman Pete is missing this week. He's an experienced and delightful postie so I reckon he probably always books census week off. Let some young whippersnapper have the hernia eh? By the way does anyone else know if whippers always snap or if they can be folded or creased?
So I just read the census through. I love the way the world of the internet has meant that everyone has to be sent a wad of paper thick enough to cover six members of the household, yet it can be completed online.
We have time to think. Although a challenge for some of the more cluttered households the census must be left until March 27th and then we all get to complete it at the same time. Obviously it is designed to take a view of the nation at a precise moment so it is all about one day and how many visitors you had, how much work you did and how many children you had, on that precise day.
Last time (2001) I recall a lot of discussion about the religious question. Some people discovered that if enough similar answers were sent in then a religion would have to be recognised. Agreed on 'jedi' did they as the silly answer of choice.
The interesting question this time is number 17. Tantalisingly it dangles a mystery in front of the reader. 'This question is intentionally left blank ... Go to question 18,' it says, or asks. Is that an ask? Do you now want to scream 'Why?' Is there anyone out there who fails to feel like a bull at a convention of red material shakers? The box demands to be filled.
We need to agree on an answer to question 17 for it is clearly a test of the state of the nation's corporate sarcasm. We must rise to the occasion. How about:
Who cocked up? Have they been fired?
This answer is left intentionally vague.
The answer is 10. I am a jedi. I know what you want.
In case you care:
One might imagine that the term *(whippersnapper) derives from the understandable temptation among more productive citizens to 'snap a whip' at sullen layabouts, but such ne'er-do-wells were originally known as 'whip snappers' in the 17th century, after their habit of standing around on street corners all day, idly snapping whips to pass the time. The term was been (sic) based on the already-existing phrase, 'snipper-snapper,' also meaning a worthless young man, but in any case, 'whip snapper' became 'whippersnapper' fairly rapidly.
(www.phrases.org.uk/bulletin_board/7/messages/783.html).
Aren't you glad you dropped by? Share your suggested answers using #censusq17 on Twitter or in the comments box and I'll pass on the good ones.
So I just read the census through. I love the way the world of the internet has meant that everyone has to be sent a wad of paper thick enough to cover six members of the household, yet it can be completed online.
We have time to think. Although a challenge for some of the more cluttered households the census must be left until March 27th and then we all get to complete it at the same time. Obviously it is designed to take a view of the nation at a precise moment so it is all about one day and how many visitors you had, how much work you did and how many children you had, on that precise day.
Last time (2001) I recall a lot of discussion about the religious question. Some people discovered that if enough similar answers were sent in then a religion would have to be recognised. Agreed on 'jedi' did they as the silly answer of choice.
The interesting question this time is number 17. Tantalisingly it dangles a mystery in front of the reader. 'This question is intentionally left blank ... Go to question 18,' it says, or asks. Is that an ask? Do you now want to scream 'Why?' Is there anyone out there who fails to feel like a bull at a convention of red material shakers? The box demands to be filled.
We need to agree on an answer to question 17 for it is clearly a test of the state of the nation's corporate sarcasm. We must rise to the occasion. How about:
Who cocked up? Have they been fired?
This answer is left intentionally vague.
The answer is 10. I am a jedi. I know what you want.
In case you care:
One might imagine that the term *(whippersnapper) derives from the understandable temptation among more productive citizens to 'snap a whip' at sullen layabouts, but such ne'er-do-wells were originally known as 'whip snappers' in the 17th century, after their habit of standing around on street corners all day, idly snapping whips to pass the time. The term was been (sic) based on the already-existing phrase, 'snipper-snapper,' also meaning a worthless young man, but in any case, 'whip snapper' became 'whippersnapper' fairly rapidly.
(www.phrases.org.uk/bulletin_board/7/messages/783.html).
Aren't you glad you dropped by? Share your suggested answers using #censusq17 on Twitter or in the comments box and I'll pass on the good ones.
Monday, March 07, 2011
(Peter's Poem) Transfiguration
I heard the voice of Jesus say
A load of stuff to ponder
I found him a perplexing place
My mind began to wander
I looked at Jesus one fine day
I saw him fresh and clear
I proudly said 'You are the Christ.'
He didn't give a cheer.
Instead he stated teaching
To prevent me getting cocky
He said he'd build his church on me
I got a nickname - Rocky
And then he said he had to die
'No way' I said - 'that's mad'
He looked at me - the way he does
And told me I was bad
I heard the voice of Jesus say
'Take up your cross and walk'
I found it a distressing way
For a Messiah to talk
I went with Jesus, James and John
We had to climb a mountain
And at the top he sort of changed
Which made us all start shoutin'
'Let's build a tent for you three guys
For Eli, you and Moses'
I wonder - how to shield my eyes
From quite how bright his clothes is
And then I heard the scariest thing
Since Jesus did his healings
A deep and thunderous voice
Which spoke directly to my feelings
'This is my son he ain't half bad
Why don't you duffers listen?'
And Jesus, he just stood there
And his face began to glisten.
'Fear not 'said Jesus 'Don't be scared
Get up it's time to go
And try to keep your mouths shut
As I want no-one to know.'
I heard the voice of Jesus say
This mystery is a secret
I found it an exciting day
I hope he helps me keep it
(St - Nailsea - 6/3/11)
A load of stuff to ponder
I found him a perplexing place
My mind began to wander
I looked at Jesus one fine day
I saw him fresh and clear
I proudly said 'You are the Christ.'
He didn't give a cheer.
Instead he stated teaching
To prevent me getting cocky
He said he'd build his church on me
I got a nickname - Rocky
And then he said he had to die
'No way' I said - 'that's mad'
He looked at me - the way he does
And told me I was bad
I heard the voice of Jesus say
'Take up your cross and walk'
I found it a distressing way
For a Messiah to talk
I went with Jesus, James and John
We had to climb a mountain
And at the top he sort of changed
Which made us all start shoutin'
'Let's build a tent for you three guys
For Eli, you and Moses'
I wonder - how to shield my eyes
From quite how bright his clothes is
And then I heard the scariest thing
Since Jesus did his healings
A deep and thunderous voice
Which spoke directly to my feelings
'This is my son he ain't half bad
Why don't you duffers listen?'
And Jesus, he just stood there
And his face began to glisten.
'Fear not 'said Jesus 'Don't be scared
Get up it's time to go
And try to keep your mouths shut
As I want no-one to know.'
I heard the voice of Jesus say
This mystery is a secret
I found it an exciting day
I hope he helps me keep it
(St - Nailsea - 6/3/11)
Thursday, March 03, 2011
The Football League Show
I do love watching all the goals from the Championship and the Football League each week. It is such a contrast with the days when football was first televised and I was allowed to stay up to see Match of the Day which might have found itself broadcasting two goalless draws. These days it is a disappointment to miss a single goal in all four divisions.
That said the format of the Football League Show has made the punditry so dull. Typical comment:
Manish: (Name) has done an excellent job at (Club); that's three wins and a draw, ten points out of the last fifteen. He's really turned them round.
Steve Claridge: Yeah, no, I mean, fair play to him he's got them playing and instilled some confidence.
Manish: How has it changed since you played for them?
Then Lizzie reads out some emails and texts from fans who either say their teams is great or rubbish and the manager has to go or stay.
Brighten up please.
Although not for the faint-hearted this spoof bio of Claridge is hilarious.
That said the format of the Football League Show has made the punditry so dull. Typical comment:
Manish: (Name) has done an excellent job at (Club); that's three wins and a draw, ten points out of the last fifteen. He's really turned them round.
Steve Claridge: Yeah, no, I mean, fair play to him he's got them playing and instilled some confidence.
Manish: How has it changed since you played for them?
Then Lizzie reads out some emails and texts from fans who either say their teams is great or rubbish and the manager has to go or stay.
Brighten up please.
Although not for the faint-hearted this spoof bio of Claridge is hilarious.
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