Monday, December 10, 2018

Advent Thought 8

The first entry in my first proper journal begins 'Finished POT for good.' This was 1987. POT is Post Ordination Training, known affectionately as potty training in the clergy club. It takes a further forty years or so to realise that you know nothing and trusting God is all there is.

I am now on volume four. I think I've got the magnification of the image right but some clever person may be able to work out how to read it. I am giving you a thin chance to read some details and asking you not to.

On a school trip to France in 1968, aged 12, my diary was discovered by my alleged friends. They entertained each other greatly by reading it to each other in my presence and laughing. It was another small step into the real world for a sheltered kid and put me off writing personal thoughts down for the next twenty years or so.

I have journaled regularly, but not daily, since 1987. The deal is this. My family know I do it. They can read it if they want to. I would prefer they didn't. It works on trust, as indeed does my life. Even though people are going to be stupid I trust them not to be. So I am trusting you all.

The existence of the journals is a picture of this in some small way. I work out what I think and feel by writing it down and living with it. Consecutive entries can contradict each other. I also record what I read, gigs I go to and movies/ podcasts and box-sets I see.

Who knows you as you really are? I don't think I even know myself very well. Now we see through a glass darkly; then we shall see face-to-face.

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