The Twitter discussion which followed, which I set out below, is one from which I have now withdrawn as I feel I may accidentally say something which will cost me my job or jeopardise my ability to do it well.
Some of the comments really hurt but I'm vulnerable and open to feedback on the correspondence. I learn best if disagreements are phrased gently and on the basis that I am trying to learn, not that I would dream of telling anyone how to comment:
7.02
Is a victim of rape ever to blame for being attacked? Posters put up around Bristol from today say they're not. pic.twitter.com/z3zhaKGl94
7.42
If you leave your car unlocked and an iPad is stolen from the back seat the theft is not your fault but you could have prevented it. @bbcrb
7.58
Women are not cars or iPads. Rape is a crime of violence, not theft. The attacker, not the attacked, is to blame. @s1eve @bbcrb #rapeculture
8.16
8.29
8.30
9.02
9.19
9.21
9.29
9.47
9.49
9.51
10.22
10.34
2.48
Put my head above the parapet of a #rapeculture discussion earlier. Very tough place to hang out given the subject but found it helpful.
3 comments:
Of course there is a place for discussing how people can stay safe, but perhaps easier to talk about general safety than specifically about not getting raped. There are reasonable actions we can ALL take which slightly reduce the risk of being hit by a car, being left in a ditch, mugged etc.
When people talk specifically about avoiding being raped, the problem is people use really hurtful arguments (e.g you wouldn't leave your valuables on display in a car, so women should cover up) which re-enforces the view that women are commodities to be enjoyed, and it is only social compliancy that stops men from doing what they want.
Well done for sticking your neck out. People can be very emotional and defensive about this subject, but it's hard not to be, because victim blaming is so prevalent and horrible. However, you were not victim blaming, you were asking a question, in the interests of starting a discussion that might help people be safe.
I think the example of iPad and car was a bit clumsy and I should have talked about dark alleys and muggers or something more to do with offences against the person. Interestingly I would never make the 'cover up' argument. I gather that recent stats showed that relatively scruffy jeans were the most common clothing of victims of sexual assault. Skimpy garments had little to do with it.
I think you asked a reasonable question. There are plenty of other questions to be asked too - e.g. do high profile women who market themselves as sex objects (Miley Cyrus, Rihanna etc.) encourage men to objectify women and encourage 'rape culture'. Asking the question doesn't mean you're excusing the perpetrators.
Post a Comment