Football Punditry Final Paper

As we come to the end of the season it is time to put your knowledge of football punditry to the test. Attempt as many questions as you like:

1. Name any ground that isn't 'a tough place to go.'

2. Who ate all the pies?
a) Lee Hughes
b) Stephen Warnock
c) Garth Crooks

3. When is it ever unimportant who scores first?

4. How many players would have remained on the pitch at full time if a continental referee had been in control of Sheffield Wednesday versus Crystal Palace?

5. Write one sentence answers on the subject of:
a) Where Liverpool went
b) An inspiring moment involving Wolves
c) The reason for Wigan

6. How many points might Blackpool get in the Premiership? Estimate to the nearest none.

7. Graham Dorrans' omission from Steve Claridge's Championship team of the season is clearly evidence of his madness. Do you agree?
a) Yes
b) Yes

8. Describe a goal:
a) Scored by Route 2
b) Taken badly
c) Put in the front of the net
d) With no aplomb

9. How much would you expect to pay to buy a foul?

10. 'Nobody noticed the Germans and they got to the final.' Discuss nationality, historical repetition and existentialism. Extra marks will be given to candidates who can make a realistic approximation of the amount of football that will be actually played during the concluding match of the Champions League and the amount of camera-time to be occupied by Jose Mourinho.