Felt dreadfully sorry for the woman who phoned Radio 5 Live today. Whilst trapped in Stockholm she thought that one way to get back might be by ferry from Rotterdam to Hull. She purchased tickets then discovered she couldn't get from Stockholm to Rotterdam. 'Now,' she said, 'we're going to have to take an extra holiday in Holland in May to use the ticket.' Is there no end to her suffering?
For reasons of political balance, having slammed UKIP, I need to be rude about the other candidates at the General Election. So I own up to being the one who stole Dr Liam Fox's laptop. I have the names of all his friends in the Conservative Party and for a small remuneration I will sell you them both.
Let debate fever commence. I'm well excited.