Thanks Darren for reminding me I never completed the Lloyds saga. Highlights of the reply from Martin Orton, the Manager at the Customer Support Centre in Birmingham include:
'It did make us smile (which I hope was your intention)...'
'I have examined our records and can see that a 'no marketing material' has been placed on your account. I have to admit that I am not sure how long this has been there...'
The bank had previously spent several hours trying to track down the leaflet I sent them back because another customer (aged 85) had asked them about the rewards offer as she wanted to buy her grandson a turbo-remote car (one of the offers). The Customer Support Centre, '...were actually unaware of the offer at the time...'
So the bank sent my returned leaflet to the 85 year old woman who then bought the car for her grandson and I inadvertently helped.
'As a small gesture of our thanks, and in accordance with your request, I have arranged for a donation to be made to ... the Marie Curie Foundation.'
So to summarise, nobody in Lloyds Customer Services is aware of the special offers they make; despite my account saying 'no marketing material' they still sent some; they find it hard to recognise if their customers are joking; they do not say how much they sent to charity.
Bit dull really. I might write to Mr Orton and offer my services in replying to customers with a sense of humour with a sense of humour. Then again...