From time to time I set a football punditry examination. Anyone can play but the aim is to do at least as well as, if not better than, the pundits themselves. The previous one was here.
1. Place in order of ball speed:
A) Drill it
B) Ping it
C) Drive it
D) Put your laces through it
2. 'He has every right to go down there.' Discuss Andy Townsend's concept of human rights.
3. 'He left his leg in and that is nasty.' Discuss Alan Shearer's understanding of limb removal.
4. Name any football ground in the top four tiers of the pyramid that has ever been described as 'An easy place to go.'
5. 'He got something on the ball.' Does this adequately summarise Robbie Savage's knowledge of the rules concerning a tackle?
6. 'Football is a non-physical contact sport but the nature of the game is that some physical contact is inevitable.' To what extent would today's pundits be surprised by this early clarification of the principles of Association Football?
7. Indicate, using diagrams and marked timings, the precise way to shake hands with Mark Hughes after a game. Try to ensure your answer finds a balance between being dismissive and patronising.
8. 'He done brilliant.' To what extent does Michael Owen grasp:
A) The past tenses
B) Adverbs
9. 'Forearmed is forewarned.' List any proverbs Steve Claridge has reached for successfully.
10. 'Ridicule is nothing to be scared of.' What reaction to Adam Ant's lyric might we expect from:
A) Portsmouth
B) Coventry
C) Wimbledon
D) Sheffield
Time allowed 90 minutes.
1 comment:
Football doesn't have rules, as any fule kno.
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