Coral

Mrs T and I celebrated our coral wedding anniversary last week. At this point the narrative demands she say 'I don't recall breaking five mirrors.'

Anniversary cards arrive from both our mothers. One is correctly addressed including the postcode. It is dated on the postmark with a franked message, 'Always use the post-code.'

The other has an incorrect post-code. It is not franked. Above the sellotaped-shut envelope seal is a note saying 'Posted 4/9/12'. Anyway it arrived on 5/9/12. I always think the addition of sellotape is to draw to the attention of the potential post-thief that there is money inside. It's the stationery equivalent of the half-drawn curtains telling burglars the home-owners are abroad.

My mother has form. She has been the victim of a number of non-deliveries down the years, each of which she has 'taken up' with the Post Office. I am sure an easily diverted, long-winded, hard-of-hearing complainant must consume huge epochs of Royal Mail time. I believe they now have a team of RM detectives following her 24/7. When she posts a letter the box is immediately opened and the letter hand delivered to the addressee (if that person can be readily identified) the same day. It is the only explanation that fits the facts. So thanks Mum. We got the card and the cheque. We won't re-use the unfranked stamp. It wouldn't feel right.