I left a doorstep caller lost for words yesterday evening. A nice guy handed me a leaflet advocating his firm 'Greensleeves' as the providers of 'Perfect Lawns.'
Looking down at the collection of green stuff mowed flat in my front garden he suggested he could remove the moss, the teasels, the dandelions and the daisies and get the lawn back to its original pristine condition.
I told him I already considered my bio-diverse lawn perfect and could think of nothing he could do to improve it.
A bee buzzed past and offered to buy me a drink. (I speak fluent bee.)