I don't read these all through very often but absolutely love the style and grammar of this latest Nigerian fishing trip. Hood-lumps is my new favourite word. And I intend, forthwith, to embark on a strategy to remit sanity. Not enough sanity has been remitted recently.
INDEPENDENT CORRUPT PRACTICE COMMISSION - MAITAMA-ABUJA, NIGERIA
FROM THE DESK OF INVESTIGATION DEPARTMENT,INDEPENDENT CORRUPT PRACTICE COMMISSION
This management is hereby to inform you that, out of our records, for the year investigation, it is dawn to us that you have been victimized by the men of underworld (Pretenders). However, the management has been dutifully empowered by the Investigation bureau office of the President and Commander-in-chief of the Armed Forces of Federal Republic of Nigeria to curb all illicit transaction and workload of this perpetrators.
In line with the Anti-corruption crusade of the presidency, Good luck Jonathan GCFR), you are by this Email notification to stop any contact regarding this illegal transaction with this Hood-lums. Out of our finding, the image of this country has been dented internationally during the past administration of the Federal Government of Nigeria. Presently, we have employed a strategy to remit sanity, and vow to terminate the activity of this fraudsters, by consolidating our security Network all over the country in view to monitor all outgoing and incoming communication to enable fish out and avert all illegal and suspicious transaction both domestically and internationally respectively.
Moreover, it occurs that some of our Financial Institutions (Bank) serve as a conduit pipe by which this fraudsters use to perpetrate the undo crime. We have signalized all these financial institutions to implement scrutinized investigation before carrying any transaction. Any bank found culpable of breaching the law, must have their operational license revoke.
In accordance with the criminal and other related offense act, 25 of 1999 constitution, we have been officially compelled by Senator. A. Aminu (JP), Chairman, Senate committee on Foreign Affair to mapped out billions of Dollars from the Annual Budget to compensate all defrauded victims as part of the ongoing National Reform Scheme of the presidency, and means to radiate immunity for criticism.
In view of this, we have been informed that you are still dealing with those hood-lumps in all your attempts to secure the release of your fund. We wish to advise you that such an illegal act has to stop if you wish to receive your payment since we have decided to bring a solution to your problem. Do be informed that we reserve the right at our discretion to sue you for damage on recognition of further contact with this people.
You have been approved US$850,000 (Eight Hundred and Fifty Thousand United States Dollars) as a compensation funds. Therefore you are required to contact the Verification department for proper evaluation into your file. Be informed that your file security code is PA9877BR67NG. You are to quote these file number for proper identification when contacting this office. Contact the Head of the Verification Unit::
Name: DR.YASITA TADINMA
You are to contact this office upon receipt of this notification immediately to enhance proper consideration and immediate release of your approved compensation funds as the defrauded victim.
Our Vision is to fight corruption to a standstill and restore Nigeria to the enviable standard of respectability and dignity within the comity of nations.
JUSTICE EMMANUEL AYOOLA(Chairman, Independent Corrupt Practice Commission,( ICPC.)