When I was a young teenager I played music with a couple of mates. We called ourselves the Gravystains. All songs ended with that mash-up of excessive noise until the drummer indicated that we should finish. Sadly we had no drummer. Sid, the guitarist, suggested that I should leave the band so that the title of this post could become a newspaper headline. We never performed apart from in my parents' lounge when they were out and we never made lines let alone head ones.
But I do leave stains a lot. Only the other day, in trying to help Mrs M clear up a minor red wine spill, I exacerbated it into a major red wine incident.
Since the last red wine fight, when redecorating of walls became necessary - it costs to live in a cool, neutral-coloured environment - we have discovered a new product. It is called Wineaway and it does what it says. Carpets, clothes and curtains are all pristine.
If you are as clumsy as us you will wish to invest.