Two mallards in a hotel room getting amorous when the female says to the male, 'Did you remember the condoms?'
'No,' says the male, 'I thought you said you'd bring them.'
'Well pop down to reception and buy some from the shop.'
So the male mallard goes down to the shop and asks for some condoms. 'Certainly' says the assistant, 'Shall I put them on your bill?'
'No way' says the mallard, 'What do you think I am, some kind of pervert.'
Radio 4, mid-afternoon, Wednesday. What is the world coming to?