My former CPAS colleague John Fryer, now a schools' worker, sends me this electronic greeting. I try not to laugh (with John's jokes it's best not to as it encourages him too much) but about half-way through it gets to me. Isn't it strange how you start liking people more and more the less and less you actually have to work with them? I'm sure it's mutual.
Visit his web-site here.
Oh yes, the greeting:
Please accept, with no obligation, implied or implicit, best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter/summer solstice holiday (tm), practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all... And a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2007, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make this country great (not to imply that this country is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "country" in the world) without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual orientation of the wishee. By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms :-
This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is not transferable, it implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.