Driving

As I drive around Nailsea and Backwell in my loaned BMW (become a clergyman - get loaned great cars by nice people) I realise there is something a little strange about arriving here in a vehicle. I didn't spot it for a bit.

What sort of feeling do you wish to engender in the hearts of motorists passing into your village or town? Welcome? Of course. Drive carefully? Probably. Stop and spend your money here? That would be cool. Dip you headlights? Goes without saying really. So what does...

Runner up Britain in Bloom 2005 South-West and Wales region

which welcomes visitors to Nailsea say? Does that conjure up thoughts for you of, 'So what went wrong last year?' Then how do you react to Backwell's...

Winner of the village of the year 1997 South-West and Wales region

It made me feel the way I react to a sticker in a pub window saying, 'We're in the 1995/1998/2001 Good Beer Guide' or whatever. The beer must have deteriorated over the last five years. You search the stickers desperately looking for the latest date.

There should always be a space in the trophy cabinet for this year's awards. If there are none, best keep the trophy cabinet out of sight eh?