It's a week on but it seems a waste of my contemporaneous notes not to share them. Well done to the one country's link person who spotted that the presenters were Will and Grace.
1. Switzerland. Every time I looked up in the first 30 seconds (I looked away a lot) there was a different vocalist. 6 look-a-likes who might have forgotten who they were trying to copy. 'If we all give a little we can dry a million tears.' Donations to Kleenex welcome. Key change.
2. Moldova. When doing high-fives don't smack the mic. Four costume changes a bit excessive for one song.
3. Israel. It is a Eurovison rule that there is a song every year called Together We Are One. This year it was Israel's turn to sing it.
Liz: Why were they wearing snow shelters?
St: You have to wear more clothes if you're ugly.
4. Latvia. A capella pomp rock with a robotty thing. Naturally.
5. Norway. That deadly combination of breasts and violins. Thank you ladies. In with a chance.
6. Spain. You have to dress in red to be called Ketchup and sing a song called Bloody Mary. Key change.
7. Malta. No sorry I've forgotten. And it's still going. Key change. Bring back the fat lass with the red dress from last year.
Tel. 'Don't forget if you want to sing along with any of the songs press your red button and the lyrics and translation will appear at the bottom of the screen.' Is it me or are they getting more desperate to find uses for the red button?
8. Germans with banjos. No good. Can't take it seriously. Key change. That's three in a row.
9. Denmark. They don't know how to twist.
10. Russia. Backing singer only came half-way out of the piano. Otherwise it's gone. Sorry.
11. FYR Macedonia. Breasts and legs.
12. Romania. First 'dance' record with club sing-a-long chorus. Unfortunately in Romanian. Subtly done but still a key change.
13. Bosnia and Herzegovena. Nice tune. Until the key change. What is it this year? It must be really hard to find an attractive, female accordian player when you want one.
14. Lithuania. If you're going to name a race-horse call it The One Without a Rider. It will really annoy the commentators. So if you're going to name a Eurovision song call it We Are the Winners of Eurovision. Laughed until it hurt. Please win.
15. UK. Daz. Bless. Did you need a CRB check to work with those backing singers?
16. Greece. No dancers but there was a key change.
17. Finland. Hell's teeth. Orcs with guitars.
18. Ukraine. I'm sure she sang, 'My panties on fire.' Chorus:
'Show me your love
Gyrate your mother's hair
Show me your love
Irate at Mothercare.'
19. France. Can't sing. Take it too seriously. Try to win. Then lose.
20. Croatia. To summarise:
Li li li li li li li li li
I think she may have been called Semolina.
21. Ireland. A ballad. How quaint.
22. Sweden. The biggest frock off of the night so far. Bucks Fizz have much for which to answer. Key change.
23. Turkey. Dancers made a Star of David in a desperate plan to get the Jewish vote. Could do well. Singer a bit older than she looked; needed helping down the stairs. I've written 'helping'. May mean 'throwing.'
24. Armenia. Key change and puppetry.
Nice to see that the voting had the first seven (low) scores done at once, thus saving time and limiting the amount of numbers being read out by the mutual appreciation society that is TV presenters around Europe ('love your work,' 'great show', 'nice tits' etc) to just the 111.
I love this show. Could I be becoming more gay? I notice people's shoes too. Sorry it's a late post.