Wednesday, April 05, 2006

People Who Make My Day 2

People Who Make My Day 1 was intended to be the beginning of a series of posts every few weeks. Maybe it is an insight into the way my mind works that Part 2 now appears six months later. Anyway it is 8.40 a.m. and I am cleaning my teeth. There is a knock at the door. I have a doorbell, which works, but there is a knock at the door. Thinking it may well be the postman I rinse my teeth under the tap and head doorwards.

Postman is a nice guy, punctual, friendly, always asks me how Ron is. No idea who Ron is but it's been going on so long I daren't admit it. I look forward to seeing him. The postman; not Ron.

At the door is a short, slightly overweight man dressed in crimson T-shirt and trousers plus a white jacket and shoes. React-a-light glasses have reacted to light recently so I can't see his eyes properly.

He has wild curly hair and is some age between 45 and 60. This is Francis. For some reason upon which I can't precisely put my finger I quite like Francis. He comes across as several synapses short of a brainwave though and I tease him something terrible.

Francis: Are you going to the big funeral today?
St: Which funeral is that? I thought it was tomorrow?
Francis: Graham Smith's.
St: Oh that one. That will be at St Marks' I think.
Francis: Yes. He was a fine Christian man. Are you going to offer your condolences?
St: I didn't know him very well.
Francis: Bob's (my closest mate) going.
St: Bob and I don't always go to the same funerals.
Francis: I thought you'd want to pay your respects.
St: Francis if I went to all the funerals in Leamington of people who deserved respect I'd spend all my life at funerals.
Francis: I've been talking to Pam and Mark about the music.
St: What music? Who are Pam and Mark? (I think I know but felt it better if he didn't know I knew.)
Francis: The music group at St Mark's.
St: And?
Francis: We've got to get the young people off this rap stuff.
St: Why?
Francis: (Bursts into doorstep rendition of 'When the Music Fades' - surprisingly good voice but a bit scary) All this head banging nonsense it's not good for them.
St: Oh you ought to go and listen to some Roots Manuva or Kanye West. It's not all head banging nonsense.
Francis: (Sings 'It's all about you Jesus' chorus)
St: I think there may be some people still in bed Francis.
Francis: (Continues singing)

I shut the door.

Later at our staff meeting I am told off for leaking to Francis that there is another big funeral tomorrow.


Simon said...

You crazeee Christians.

Martin said...

who said "Christians are Weird"?

Jonathan Potts said...

Francis - is that the guy with the pork-chop sideburns who's appointed himself God's ambassidor to the Archbishop of Canterbury (or something like that)?

Clearly mad - but you can't fail to have some sort of twisted admiration for the guy.

St said...

You have the man Jonathan. We ought to write song called Twisted Admiration.

Jonathan Potts said...


Anonymous said...

I had the pleasure of hearing this man speak on sunday. he was trying to inform Bob of the disgrace going on in hospitals around the nation in which dead people are being cut open and their body parts looked to determine why they died.

i decided not to inform him i was a medical student.