Had a call on the church's emergency phone last night. It's my week for duty. This call was from the Science Fiction group who rent a hall room once a fortnight to watch a video for a couple of hours. I don't know why either. Maybe they aren't allowed anything electrical where they live.
They were locked out. Didn't they have any hand-held door phasers? Laser powered anti-lock devices? Apparently not and, judging by the looks I got when I suggested this, no sense of humour chips fitted either.
We don't have many pastoral emergencies on our emergency phone. Only burglar alarms and locked doors.
Someone asked me the other day:
Why don't you have a caretaker any more? (We used to.)
You pay us £50 an hour for a commercial hire and we'll be able to afford to pay a caretaker again.
Another massive sense of humour failure followed.
I'll get me coat.