Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Smug

I can tell.
Hello Big Blogger. Long time no speak. What can you tell?
See. You're being polite.
I'm not, get lost.
Good effort but your heart wasn't really in it.
I know.
You've been doing it again haven't you?
What, had a great night out with friends in Cheltenham at the Festival of Literature hearing John Sergeant and Clive James in one night?
No, and that's showing off and you know it.
So my first ever meeting with 'someone I met over the internet' and he didn't axe me to death or turn out really to be a sixten year old girl (unless the make-up was very good).
No. But wasn't that a bit silly.
No. I checked it out. Serial killers don't buy you coffee in public places. Neither do sixteen year old girls in my experience.
Anyway. Not that.
So is it making two lots of soup out of left over organic vegetables: one carrot and orange one tomato and basil?
No. No. And you know it isn't. Did you say carrot and orange?
Yes.
As in the vegetable and the fruit?
Yes.
Was it nice?
Almost. Needs work.
Surprise. No, I can tell from your little smug face and your little smug pose and your little smug voice. You've been filing.
Can you really?
Oh yes. You smug git. You look as smug as a person would if they'd just done six months filing. Six months. It's no cause for smugness that. It's a disgrace that's what it is.
Be gentle BB. I've been busy.
No you haven't.
I've been on holiday.
You got back three weeks ago.
I've been thinking.
Can't you think and file?
No.
Did you find anything interesting?
Well I got a bit further with thinking about being a new kind of Christian - the kind that ignores God for a bit and thinks about Jesus a lot like Paul did (1 Corinthians 2:2) once.
In the filing, jerk-face?
Oh yes. I found that review of the holiday club I swore blind I'd handed in and the address of that guy who wanted to play Cafe Create and I promised to be in touch with four months ago.
The moral of this story is.
How about, 'If you don't do your filing for six months when you come to do it you can throw most of it away.'
Very poor.
How about, 'If you don't have a filing tray everything becomes a filing tray.'
No. Try, 'Put it in the filing cabinet at once. Then you get up and stretch and you don't lose things.'
I know. I repent in sackcloth and ashes.
Do you know where to find them?
No. Are they in the filing cabinet?

3 comments:

Martin said...

But wait, I thought you were into systematising.

Or are you selectively systematising. Your CDs are in perfect pristine order, as are your books, and several other things that you might find important, and everything else is in a pile on the floor.

It's possible I might (hypothetically you understand) understand this implicitly from experience (hypothetical, of course).

St said...

Martin thank you. A 'selective systematizer' is my self-description of the week. I will post some more about that later.

Kathryn said...

Because the study carpet and the filing cabinet are both grey, I always claim to have mistaken the one for the other. Trouble is that the dogs keep walking all over one of them...