L2

Storming night at the cafe with a huge crowd of 100+ and great live entertainment. Managed to survive without too many jokes at my expense. Particular acknowledgement to the Undergound Heroes hip-hop act suggesting I had chinos. Actually I did have chinos when they came round the first time and were cool but did drop them as soon as elasticated waists became available. I'll rephrase that. No I won't; can't be arsed.

I now have several bottles of single malt, a copy of the Chap Magazine, a Saga Holidays brochure, enough beer, tokens for books and CDs, some very poignant cards and am off to see the Alabama 3 at Oxford Zodiac. Mrs Tilley is not looking foward to it but has agreed to accompany me (I did go to see The Messiah with her once).

As performed live last night, for perhaps the one and only time, the lyrics of next year's Eurovison Song Contest UK entry are reproduced below:

I tried to write a song for Eurovision

I tried to write a song for Eurovision
I tried to write a song to change the world
I tried to make you people like my country
To see my nation’s lovely flag unfurled

But la la la got in the way
And kettle drums were put on stage
Whistles and bagpipes joined the mess
The backing singers got undressed
And li li li got force fed in
So my sweet song became a din
It isn’t rock; it isn’t rap
It’s not a ballad it’s just that

I tried to write a song for Eurovision
I tried to write a song to change the world
I tried to make you people like my country
To see my nation’s lovely flag unfurled

But that’s no way to make amends
The Brits, the French we got no friends
Doesn’t matter if we’re ravers
Balkan states still vote for neighbours
Cypriots just love the Greeks
Scandinavian votes don’t leek
Whether or not they adore the
Song Spain can still trust Andorra

I tried to write a song for Eurovision
I tried to write a song to change the world
I tried to make you people like my country
To see my nation’s lovely flag unfurled

Just before my song starts to grate
Instrumental time middle-eight

Germany – you lose - we hail yer
Nation States conjoined in failure
Please don’t call my country deranged
Look, I’ll introduce a key change

I tried to write a song for Eurovision
I tried to write a song to change the world
I tried to make you people like my country
To see my nation’s lovely flag unfurled