Friday, July 03, 2015

Ministry Tips 26-50

26. Don't mess with the flowers.
27. Don't mess with the Mothers' Union. They know people.
28. People who have pet services should be familiar with the juxtaposition of a mop and bucket.
29. You can go to the cinema on a working day.
30. Become a regular in one or two pubs and cafés.
31. Ask people how they like to receive feedback.
32. If children point at you in the street and tell their parents they know you, stop and tell their parents who you are.
33. Read the local free papers. Send them news. Expect it to be mangled.
34. Be decisive on all trivial 50/50 calls - it makes you more friends than prevaricating.
35. Clarification. Even if you're a trained professional florist, don't mess with the flowers.
36. Be vaguely familiar with popular culture
37. Socks, sandals. Same sentence OK. Same leg not.
38. Be sufficiently generalist to know the next question to ask after 'What do you do?'
39. Give your own opinion rarely; ask others theirs a lot.
40. Leave all hired property tidier and cleaner than you found it.
41. Let the bride and groom make their own rings comfortable after the vows. If it don't fit, don't force it
42. Learn a few graces, blessings and ending prayers.
43. 1st joke you thought of won't be original; 2nd not funny. Try the 3rd. Only ignore this advice if you have great comic timi
44. People see more of your fingernails than those of most other professionals. Keep them nice.
45. Carry a handkerchief for your own use.
46. Come to terms with your own mortality.
47. Make your own book of quotes. Nobody else will use those ones.
48. Keep a record of what you preached, on what passage, when and to whom.
49. Have an adaptable talk of the month, ready for when you have to 'say a few words'.
50. Trust your next door neighbours with a key as soon as possible. Then you will rarely be locked out.

No comments: