For the benefit of those not on Twitter here is the feed from Saturday night:
Ukraine 'My heart is like a dodgem singing underground.' Hamster wheel but no hamster.
Belarus have a tune and good hair. Boy banned.
I always find a trapeze adds a lot to a song.
Norway. This guy has piercings and tattoos. Probably had his soul pierced.
Welcome to the first key change of the evening. Should have decided which key to change to though.
So that's where all the depleted uranium went.
I expected the line 'You'll be wondering what I've done with your singer.' Montenegro
Marks deducted for ice skating.
You only get a point if you keep the national dress on for the whole song.
This is a Carry-on film matron. Poland.
Does bearded lady count as circus skills? #inappropriate Austria
Quick bass lesson - hold down at the top, pluck at the bottom. (A Twitter bass-player took issue with this, but they missed the point.)
Coda of German song was her Voice audition.
Apparently Sweden was a great song well performed. What do I know?
Le Jedward. France.
Conjoined hair. Unlucky. Russia.
Italy. O Remus negative
Iceland winning in the room so far.
Is there such a thing as gratuitous contortion?
The Spanish monsoon season has influenced this highly.
Switzerland. Quite like this.
Breathy vocal. Running, running, running. Asthmatic.
The Danish IT crowd. I love you, you're a peachy baby.
Every step you take.
Bond chord change. Nobody does it better.
The results of the Vynes Way jury. It looks bad for Poland.
Poland came last in the room with -11. Iceland won with 9
We voted for you. Please don't invade.
The whole country just shouted 'France has a point.' First time for everything.
Every time the camera catches the Austrian performer we deduct points retrospectively for fake tears.
Planning the Viennese food for next year.
Weird dream. Ice skating hamsters singing out of key backed by bearded lady on a circular piano, playing a bass upside-down.