Wednesday, January 02, 2013

#Mumwatch - The Complete Wisdom

The mystery of the two disappearing packets of tissues; can't believe there's something she forgot. Search those five bags again.

Why is she only six stone she ate a whole cow? At the carvery.

Dropped her special device for picking things up and bent down and picked it up four times in a row.

Seeing item on table: 'Is that a CD?' 'No Mum it's a book.' This woman drives, Birmingham area, weekdays, daylight hours only.

Never in history has one apple been eaten so slowly - walking round with bits of apple in hand promising not to touch anything.

She's having a shower; for the lounge ceiling Lord we pray.

That shampoo she wanted. Doesn't know name or type but the bottle was green-topped three years ago and IT'S NOT FOR DAMAGED HAIR.
Lounge ceiling survived the shower but the toilet roll holder didn't.
'I'm just going upstairs and then I'm coming back down again.'
Cutting up food for someone who hates crusts yet asked for pizza.
Best yet. 'This isn't the man out of Coronation Street.' 'Mum, that's Ken Barlow; this is Gary.'
'Every time I see the Manchester Apollo I think of snooker.'
Right. To Birmingham and back in a hurried patient sort of way.
That's all folks.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

The Gary/ken barlow is the best and deserves to be in your next publication.