Last week, at a retreat house, I encountered a lavatory. On top of the cistern was this note:
Absolutely nothing except toilet paper to be put down this loo
I ignored the note and had a wee.
Absolutes are a trap aren't they? In a local church there is an upright piano in the hall. On top of it is a sign on folded card saying:
Absolutely nothing to be left on top of this piano
I keep moving the notice but someone keeps putting it back there.
But death? Oh yes. From Chester-le-Street Parish Centre circa 1992:
NO EXIT ONLY IN THE EVENT OF FIRE
Embrace bad punctuation or burn, my friends. Or should that be:
Embrace bad punctuation or burn my friends