Remember that there is
no difference between real and apparent care. The parishioners need
to know that you care. The best way to do this is to really care but
cultivate the skill of apparently caring for those days when you
don’t.
14b) Infinitives may be split when necessary.
5 comments:
The difference between real and apparent care is called integrity.
I understand why you say that, but I think Steve is simply saying we will feel more positive towards some people than others. That shouldn't determine the quality of care and attention they receive. There is a huge price to pay pastorally and relationally for always showing exactly what we feel.
And if we nurture our relationships with those we don't instinctively warm to, it's both professional, and opens the possibility of 'real' care.
I agree with you Mike and I clearly understand that there will always be days when you have to be professional when you don't feel like it - when drained and worn out , knowing you can never be everything to everyone all of the time and we as parishioners need to understand that. But in our hearts we know all the difference between real and apparent care. It is a challenge for the church not just the leaders. I think we all do it probably more than we would like to admit in all sorts of ways. It may be understandable , necessary to survive but I am uncomfortable with calling it the same in case we get too comfortable behind the mask.
I remember once in a sermon hearing Luther quoted as having said: 'I kiss my daughter because I love her, but I also kiss my daughter in order to love her.' No idea if that's really what he said, but there is a truth here: sometimes going through the motions leads to the real thing. There is a big difference between sacrificial service given when feeling nothing, and putting on a mask to look good. Typical St, though, to phrase a truth to shock.
Caring for people (in action) when we don't feel especially caring toward them is called being ruled by our promises, not our feelings. And it's an essential character trait of faithful ministers.
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