Security

I have had some calls from Orange over the last few days since I upgraded my phone. All these calls have begun with 'Is that Mrs ...' I was a little paranoid at first that the truth was getting out but call centre operatives rarely hear the first words uttered by the 'phone answerer so I forgive them. I am often tempted to say 'Yes' and see what happens.

So many years ago I have lost count, Mrs Mustard's mobile phone became mine when she was given a work one to use. We have never changed the contract details and she continues to pay the bill, bless.

All the operatives have asked when Mrs M might be in so they can ask her a security question. My explanation that she is never in has not put them off and they have continued to call at regular intervals at the specific time I have explained she is not available. It doesn't appear to have crossed their minds that she may be buried under the fireplace.

This afternoon I was asked if the account had been taken out for me and I said that it had. No secret that, after all. 'Then I must ask you a security question,' said the bubbly lass on the other end of the call. 'What sort of phone is it you have upgraded to?'

This was a terribly baffling security question but I did what any self-respecting 'phone thief would have done and LOOKED AT IT.

'It's a Nokia X6,' I said.

She complemented me on having a lovely phone and proceeded to try and sell me the insurance I had declined on upgrading because my bank account already includes free phone insurance as does something else I can't remember.

Curse this demanding security everywhere.