Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Customer Service

In a leading supermarket recently I was offered a sample drink of Absolut pear vodka, lemonade and ice. Probably not Somerfield then, you guess. Since it was about 1130 a.m. I joked that it sounded like the perfect breakfast. The demonstrator gave me a look and told me, 'You're not the first.' Twice.

Later at the checkout I was asked if I wanted any help with the packing and I pointed to Mrs T and said, 'No, I have a highly trained assistant.' Not a titter.

Message to customer service departments everywhere. This piece of information will be highly profitable. Your customers are idiots. They make old and inappropriate jokes. Your task, should you wish to sell further product, is to laugh at the jokes as if you had never heard them before.

3 comments:

Mr Gnome said...

One frequently makes a bit of a bottom of oneself at the supermarket checkout - unable to locate wallet, credit card, mis-enter PIN, depart minus goods just purchased.

One's standard self-exculpatory remark is: 'So sorry! They've only just started allowing me out on my own.'

This usually raises a smile or even a laugh-ette.

But every so often it's met with stolid accepance as if to say: 'Yep - I'd figured that out already.'

Ho hum.

Marcella said...

The problem with the 'highly trained assistant' gag is that you're a man. The hearer will assume that you're being sexist, and will respond accordingly. I, on the other hand, get a laugh every time with a similar joke...

Maybe wearing a dog collar would cancel out your gender?

Di said...

I make it my aim to make the check out person smile, I crack jokes or just generally chat and say thank you. It usually works, they smile :)