A couple of decades ago, when there was a first outbreak of what we might call 'management speak,' someone with too much time on their hands started rewriting the Bible as for a management seminar. The one I can remember is:
The Lord and I are in a shepherd/sheep situation and I am in a position of negative need.
That's an easy one to start with but please write the reference in the comments box. They will get harder. Answers in a fortnight.