Communication Lets Me Down

In the midst of the death throes of the Bath and Wells Diocesan Communications Committee today an enthralled meeting was told that, 'Nobody reads blogs.'

Mustard Seed Shavings was fortunate enough to be able to grab a member of the Committee for a brief interview after the meeting in an attempt to test the veracity of that statement. The text of the interview is reproduced here:

Interviewer
Excuse me Mr...

Interviewee
I'd prefer to remain anonymous. Perhaps you'd simply call me Bishop.

Interviewer
Why?

Interviewee
It makes me feel important.

Interviewer
OK Bishop. So how did the meeting go?

Interviewee
Well the gathered communications experts offered their combined wisdom about the idea of proceeding with a communications strategy for the 21st century.

Interviewer
Gosh, that must have taken ages.

Interviewee
Actually the meeting underran by an hour.

Interviewer
So they were in favour?

Interviewee
They were largely in favour of talking not listening.

Interviewer
I can't help noticing you have two black eyes.

Interviewee
I was talking when I should have been listening. At least I got some eye contact.

Interviewer
So what strategy was outlined?

Interviewee
That in future a new focus of communication will see a combination of an updated web-site, a weekly e-zine, a quarterly, quality diocesan publication and a relationship between the diocese and parish magazine editors that will ensure the best stories are circulated and the self-promoting claptrap is binned.

Interviewer
Brilliant.

Interviewee
Well some of us thought so.

Interviewer
Not everyone?

Interviewee
No, the Rev'd Stave Telley (a nom-de-plume) argued vehemently that this would disenfranchise the elderly who still felt that e-communication was the very spawn of Beelzebub.

Interviewer
What happened?

Interviewee
The committee agreed that some note must be taken of those who couldn't buy into the whole internet thing.

Interviewer
Was the committee satisified by that?

Interviewee
I don't think anyone noticed.

Interviewer
So what happens next?

Interviewee
Members of the committee were given two bottles of fair trade, not-for-profit, organic, beer-for-life and told to wait by their phones for news of their jobs after the reshuffle.

Interviewer
Will you be waiting?

Interviewee
No, I was only there for the beer. You don't know anyone who wants to buy two and a half thousand green mugs do you?

Interviewer
Bishop, thank you very much.

Apologies if any in-jokes are beyond the wit of the many of you who don't read blogs.