Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Call off the Asassination

It is 1230 and St enters the parish office. The administrator is musing, a character trait of his.

'It's no good Steve, there's a discrepancy. I can't make the figures balance.' He scratches his head in a forlorn way.

'Is this a budget problem?' I enquire.

Why no. It's a people problem. We cannot make the number of people on the electoral roll add up to last year's electoral roll less removals plus additions.

'We have three too many,' he says. 'We're going to have to shoot them. It will be easier than going through all the working again.'

I proffer my list of people I'd like, all things being equal, to have shot. I carry it about with me.

The administrator looks it over and nods in agreement. I leave. I know some people. I blame my second curacy.

Later that afternoon there is a call from the office. Problem solved. Someone filled in two forms and someone was counted twice.

I've left a message on my contact's answer phone. If you suspect we don't like you probably best not to answer the door tonight. Just sit back with a copy of Fargo and relax.


Anonymous said...

I will look carefully to see who is missing from the APCM next Monday!

Dennis said...

Arrived at the office this morning to find that the elastic band had popped off from the pile of 300+ electoral roll applications - I ask myself who was trying to escape assisination.


Emma said...

I worked and worked and worked on percentages of children who were in line, exceeding expectations and below target today and no matter how hard I tried could only get 95% of my class. Five percent were stubbornly absent from my statistics. I should probably have kept it that way - when I found the missing statistic they were 'below target'. Bummer.

St said...

Hey Emma perhaps you live in Garrison Keillor's Lake Wobegon, where all the children are above average.