I love this franchise. Very few others would get me pre-booking a ticket to see a movie alone on day one of general release.
For those who don't know (where you bin?) Jason Bourne (Matt Damon) washed up aboard a trawler in The Bourne Identity with six bullet holes in his chest. He survived and went on a spree of finding out who he was and who done it.
Turns out he was some sort of agent but by the time of The Bourne Supremacy even the guys he thought he used to work for wanted him iced.
The Bourne Ultimatum is the best couple of hours of total hogwash I have ever seen. If the movies are about suspending belief then consider it hanging. Bourne tries to finalise the old 'who am I?' question but only the people who don't want him around any more can tell him. Cue chases, bombings, extreme mopeding, a very nasty incident in the life of a Guardian reporter who gets too close, visits to several major European cities, a bit of North Africa and a finale in Washington.
So what if you can't actually see a man in a CIA office holding a file marked 'Top Secret' using a telescope from the flats opposite? Who cares that, as Roger Ebert says, Bourne is '...more convincing than the Road Runner.' At the start of this movie I felt a bit thirsty and forgot about it until the car park. Not Bond-lite. Bond-heavy.
And it even has a remix of Moby's Extreme Ways as the soundtrack. Abandon your plans for tomorrow. This is not optional. Use the daytime to watch the first two movies if you need to.