I'm going to the doctors today to make the acquaintance of a new doctor for a new patient health check. Now I tend to stick to Steve Wright's full body check - you should have two of everything down the side and one of everything down the middle - but I suspect now I have topped fifty there will be more to it than that and I will discover my tetanus is out of date, my cholesterol is too high and the search for a heart undertaken by many previous doctors will, once again, prove fruitless.
I think I will be under the care of a female doctor which will be a first for me. Not a problem just a first. My previous doctor, technically very proficient, used to respond to any sense of emotional problem with, 'You think that's bad; I support Manchester City'. He did once , famously, tell me to go away and sort my life out. As it happened I needed to, did, and it was great advice but I often wondered if he was like that with everyone or had sussed out how to deal with me.
So I'm off to pee in a small container and prepare my apertures for inspection. Happy Mondays. Good idea. The soundtrack to breakfast is decided.