I could never change banks. This one is far too entertaining.
I didn't get round to replying to them about their latest 'rewards' offer, which I received even though I have been removed from the unsolicited mailing list for ever.
Good job because I would like to quote to you from a letter I received today. Hold in your mind that Lloyds Bank are my bank, my only bank, and this letter is from Lloyds Bank.
'This is to let you know that as you have made the final payment on your personal loan, we have closed your loan account.
'As you have repaid your loan earlier than the expected end date, you may be entitled to a refund of your Loan Protection insurance premium. If this is the case, Lloyds TSB Insurance will contact you separately.
'We will cancel your direct debit arrangement straightaway. If you have been making your repayments by standing order, you need to contact your bank immediately to make sure they cancel the agreement.'
As Spike Milligan once said, 'Never let the left hand know what the right middle hand is doing.'