Monday, May 09, 2005

Dangerous Dog

Well it shakes you up doesn’t it? A situation of extreme conflict I mean. Here’s the tale.

I step out of my house at 6p.m. on Sunday evening to go to church. I’m the preacher so I ought to turn up. I look left and right as I go through my gate onto the pavement out of habit. This time it is worth it because a cyclist is bombing down the hill on the pavement and I would have been hurt if I hadn’t.

Further down the hill a man is walking up with two loose dogs, a Labrador type thing and a young German Shepherd. The man is pedigree Lillington but the dogs aren’t. Overweight, jeans, mauve T-shirt, shaved head.

As the cyclist passes the dogs the German Shepherd jumps up at it and stats to bark. Then he dog runs at me, barking. I stand still not able to tell if it is dangerous or not. I realise, as it gets near to me, that it is friendly but not until after a pants-cacking moment. ‘Sorry mate’ says non-dog.

‘Why don’t you put your dogs on a lead?’ I enquire. Blue touch paper lit.

‘You miserable git. If I did anything with a lead I’d put it round your ‘kin neck. You (insert c-word into your own reading of this to avoid me saying it and not getting past your decency-protecting software).’

I walk away. He continues shouting. I turn and simply say, ‘All I’m asking is that you keep your dogs under control please.’

As a group, pedigree men don’t hear criticism well. I know I find it hard myself and have to really work at it to welcome it, but I’ve never been quite so shaken before by such a stream of abuse, whilst secretly I’m glad I said something rather than letting it lie. As I walked away again he plucked the really galling and most stupid comment out of his non-existent headwear. ‘I bet you’re a ‘kin Tory an all.’ He continued ranting up the hill and I enjoyed it fading out.

Tories are in favour of hunting with dogs aren’t they?

Preached below standard required, which made for a disappointing Sunday having played the piano poorly in the morning because the fold-back was delivering nothing like the noise the band was playing and mainly feedback, interference and the vocals of one of our three singers.

Would I be less likely to have a heart attack if I gave the PA desk a mouthful of abuse and hit the dog mis-handler with a piece of fence panelling? Blogging. The way to purge your system of necessary violence. Good morning.

2 comments:

Darren said...

May God bless you in ur outpouring ;-)

Andy L. said...

Having made a three year study of the communication strategies used by the dog walking varient of anthrapod lillingtonious, I believe your error may have been in not lowering your tone to a gruff growl and adding 'mate' to the end of your question.