Ten reasons not to be married to a retail area manager

Well I showed her the post and she issued a threat, 'Go on; do it then.' So, with all the caveats about how love can overcome an overwhelming set of obstacles, here goes. This list is peculiar to those whose partners are female and employed by the homeware sector:

1. Life is materialistic enough without your partner constantly talking about sales figures.
2. Normal hours of work are 7.00 a.m. - 7.00 p.m. and 8.00 p.m - 10.00 p.m. Monday to Friday, 4 p.m. - 7 p.m Sunday with occasional weekend duty and nights away from home to enable an early start the next day.
3. You will have to sit on the sofa next to someone doing their emails on a laptop.
4. If you get up from the sofa to get your partner a drink, when you return there will be papers where you were sitting.
5. Pay rises don't exist when a recession is expected, happening or being recovered from. Ever?
6. 42,000 miles a year loses us a lot of credibility with the green lobby.
7. Meal times will be fixed by an order being placed from the motorway.
8. Your house will be full of possible candidates for the 'Next year's worst possible Christmas stock item' competition. Some of these will occasionally need to be test-consumed.
9. There are only so many times you can talk about a shop as a lifestyle destination and keep a straight face.
10. Interesting discussions about current affairs can be timetabled by training as a beautician so you can do nails, hair or waxings.