Happy Christmas

Our annual Christmas letter is published today. Roll with it. Don't try to understand too hard:

https://stevetilleychristmas.blogspot.com/2025/12/...

If anyone needs help with the pirate jokes spend three minutes listening to this Andy Hamilton sketch. You'll thank me:

https://youtu.be/XKv5ulewTO4?si=uo8GWBu_bmlevIId

Christmas 2022

 Our family Christmas newsletter is on the Christmas Blog. Do drop in.

Thought for the Day

Privilege to do TFTD on BBC Radio Bristol for Christmas Eve today. Here's my script:

I'm married to a visual merchandiser. My home always looks lovely at Christmas. Mostly this is to be welcoming to guests. Not this year.

Stories on today's show are about plans being changed. Food delivery not party. Adjusting down your feast. Lack of demand for buses.

Are you good with change? I've always been comfortable with routine yet try to vary it. It drives the aforementioned partner bonkers that I will do three jobs at the same time – for no reason! Emphasis, all hers.

My Mum had Christmas planned to the finest detail but afterwards always fixated on the bit that hadn't gone well. Perfectionism is certainly not genetic.

What thought am I digging out of all this? Well, this time last year we had no idea that 2020 would be spoken of in the same list as the Black Death, the Great Plague and Spanish Flu.

The day before the birth of Jesus nobody expected a story was about to be born that would change the shape of human history for the next two millennia.

Theologians disagree about whether Jesus was born in a stable, a guest room or an ordinary house. Whatever, the child grew to be so extraordinary that no-one could imagine his birth had been anything but special. Yet he required feeding, as hungry babies do. Required shelter as homeless people need. Required love. Don't we all?

So, even if you don't feel that the Christian story has anything but myth in it I urge you to allow the mystery and mess to make you more concerned about others than any awkwardness in changing your plans. Merry Christmas.

Christmas 2020

Happy Christmas to all my readers, lurkers and followers. The family Christmas letter is now available along, if you're into that sort of thing, which is unlikely, with an archive of the same since 1985.

Christmas 2019

Click on this link for our annual Christmas round robin newsfree letter thingy. There are, gasp, pictures. Also words. Many words.

Advent Thought 19

A few years ago we realised that normal people tended to play Christmas music in their houses at Christmas and we had never done that. So we set off down to the local music emporium and purchased some weird and wonderful bits of unpopular Christmas music. None of your Mariah Carey or Michael Bublé  but some less well known stuff. Completely on spec I bought this album and loved it, mainly because it included some jazz piano shapes I have been able to copy.

It was never part of our Christmas tradition as our boys grew up. It first hit the home at around the turn of the millennium. Yet it is still asked for when visitors come, even family.

But it is now compulsory listening around this time and we have just had a first run through with a couple of drinks post #Mumwatch. Very relaxing.

So, what do you do at Christmas that everyone else thinks is daft? And is it 

By the way you needn't buy it to check it out. Stream it on Spotify.

Advent Thought 18

Sooner or later during Advent, Christmas carnage sets in. The tidy lounge becomes a present-wrapping hub.

It reminds me of a  passage by the late David Watson. He said that often on a summer's day he might long for a fresh breeze through the study window. But then, if he chose to open the window, it would blow all his papers all over the place. (You remember paper, surely?)

He related that to those people who said they desired God to be at work in their lives, but then when they allowed it to happen, their lives were turned upside down and they longed for the breezeless neat paper again.

I like giving gifts but the piles of gift-wrap, cards, tape and ribbon, not to mention the array of presents themselves, creates some temporary chaos.

Towards the end of the Advent waiting comes Christmas preparation. Still not the moment, but we need to sacrifice a little sovereignty over our tidiness in order to share a neater experience later. And that works on many levels.

Gifts are now wrapped and waiting in tidy piles. But the deeper spiritual untidiness has been part of my life for years.

Thought for the Day

I was on TFTD duty at BBC Radio Bristol this morning. Asked to make it amusing I think I crow-barred a funny middle section into a news item to which it had no relevance. That said it went down well and thanks to Producer Nicki for finding an instrumental version of the song I was ruining as backing music:

Travelling is a Christmas tradition. Today stories about Bristol airport, community transport and returning to hospital with thank-you gifts. We even hear of someone walking home for Christmas. Take a hint Chris Rea.

Barring tragedy, most journeys have a known outcome. We like our traditions to be er, traditional. That said there's some updating needed:

The partridge was run down as I swerved to avoid a pear tree felled by the wind.

Turtle doves have been humanely destroyed in view of their many diseases.

Due to Brexit only British hens are available.

Calling birds have been vocally modified to avoid upsetting country dwellers of a non-rural background.

Gold rings can be bought off that Dave who pops into the pub every now and again with interesting stuff know what I mean.

Orders for live and fertile geese could not be fulfilled at this time. One frozen goose, giblets included.

Swans belong to the Crown. Anyone in possession of seven should be reported.

Non-gender specific milking persons please. Do not threaten the human rights of male milkers.

Vote now to save your favourite dancers and their partners.

Lords are mainly too old to be a-leaping.

Sequenced piping samples playing dub lang syne on heavy rotation and Hammerhead 1.0 rhythm programmes can be downloaded via Windows media player to conclude your 12 days.

Well it's amazing how things move on isn't it? What was once a cool list of gifts from a true love now becomes either controversial or out-of-date. The knack for those of us with faith, if I may call it that, is to talk about Jesus in an updated and interesting way whilst remembering that the old message is not old-fashioned. I trust your Christmas journey contains many deity-specific tidings and wish you a happy one.

Advent Thought 17

I don't spend much time on cards but I do spend a ridiculous amount of time on our Christmas letter.

A lovely friend here was spied out of the bedroom window a few years back. He was in the road opposite with a sketch pad, although at the time I didn't know if he had responsibilities as a surveyor or recorder of social information.

A few days later all became clear as a personalised, hand-drawn Christmas card arrived. This has been happening for ten years and we display the set, trying desperately to arrange the story in chronological order.

One of the cards even includes an exact depiction of my dressing gown, which is worrying. But we love the investment of time, in us, that the cards represent.

Advent is a funny time for remembering people. Having just worked my way down our Christmas card list I have had several moments of wondering if we have been sending a card to the wrong address for a number of years in some cases. How do people tell you of their change of address these days? So many possible ways.

So, practical Advent thought; if you get an update on family details, note the info down now in your Christmas card file (tell me you have one, please).

And spiritual one. Spare a payer for all those you send cards to, and all you receive them from.

Jesus Growing Up - A Wondering

It was a privilege to be a vicar in church with no duties today. Unexpectedly I found myself wondering as I heard a service themed on the obedience of Jesus' mother. If, as I believe, these accounts are not exactly history as we know it, how did it all work. Well maybe like this...

Aged 9
Maybe it was because from time to time he looked at me strangely. Perhaps it was because carpentry didn't exactly capture my imagination. Or even that when we heard the stories from Moses and the prophets I found a depth of curiosity which people said nine year old kids shouldn't have. Not sure when precisely, but that was when I began to wonder. Mum acted as if she knew more than she told me, but she let me be.

Aged 12
I asked a lot of questions. It was just curiosity. The teachers tell all these stories and tell us to learn them but they really like it when they are asked to explain what they mean. I asked so many questions, sometimes getting distracted from what I ought to do or where I ought to be, that people called me wise. Maybe a wise person is one who want to be less stupid.

Aged 20
From time to time I wandered out into the wilderness, when I wasn't making disappointing table legs and getting awkward looks from an increasingly frail Dad. My brothers seemed to master it. I never got the knack. Day-dreamer they called me, but I was trying to pray and listen to a deeper voice. In the wilderness there were no distractions. But there were competing voices in the wind and in my head. They told me I could be amazing if only I grasped the power I had. I was hungry and wondered if I could turn stones to bread. I tried a few times. Never worked.

My cousin John liked the wilderness too but he was a hunter-gatherer. Could make insects taste nice. Make clothes out of stuff lying around.

Aged 30
John had started getting attention. He was shouting at people. Really shouting. He called them broods of vipers. He hated cheats - Jew or Gentile. He pushed people under the water as a way of being forgiven. I knew he must push me too. But when I saw him his face changed. It didn't seem quite right. He said I should dunk him. We had a bit of a stand-off until something got through to him and he knew what he had to do. And when he did it I knew. My job was to save people not fix their furniture and carts. It hit me like a giant life goal. Save these people from their sins. Whilst I was still taking all this in some say they heard a voice in the clouds.

I went back to the wilderness, trying to sort the voices. That's when I knew. The one I needed to hear was going to take me where I needed to go, one step at a time. Listen, trust and wait. No trying to fly, no turning from the God I'd been raised with and any bread should be baked not conjured. I think I may have stretched this one a bit a few months later but the crowd looked hungry.

So I downed tools. My brothers were happy to see the back of me.

Advent Thought 14

Long-standing readers of this blog will have bumped into my observations about Christmas trappings before. Suffice it to say that decorating trees is a bit modern, we all do it too soon and yet it is a nice custom.

I grew up in a big old house with a mother who knew how things should be. They should be the way she did them.

Mum took a relative back-seat most of the time but at Christmas she became very much in charge.

One tradition slightly awry and my Mum would announce that Christmas was ruined. It was always ruined, but in a slightly different way each year. Pick from:

• We always had a large tree with dodgy lights
• Two dogs who tried to eat any gift-wrapped food.
• Grandma crushing the Wolverhamptom Wanderers Subbuteo team underfooot
• Missing the Morecambe and Wise Christmas Show
• Lunch not starting until 2 because it wouldn't all fit in the oven
• 12 days sweeping up pine needles.

The cul-de-sac opposite our house (pictured) is going a bit stir-crazy with the outdoor lights and is fast becoming a visitor attraction. We like to think our tree in the window is a tasteful counter to all this garishness.

We try not to peak too soon so this weekend is as early as we ever put up a tree.

Where is the Advent thought? I guess it is this. Don't get so swept up in the having to do Christmas things just so that you forget to look forward to it and then enjoy it. And remind yourself afresh that memories are more easily recalled of those things that didn't go quite according to plan.

Advent Thought 7

As someone said the other day, 'They've put the decorations up while Chris Rea is still looking for his car keys.' It's worse than that. Chris Rea's family haven't even finalised the arrangements for Christmas.

So, as the cul-de-sac opposite which I live makes its renewed attempt to be a Nailsea street which gets visited because of the splendour of its lights, even the street light outside my house is out. Don't tell. We sleep better when it's broken.

Yet in the dark streets shineth...

This year we have gone for tokenism. Our young friend Elliott makes reindeer each Christmas. I think Dad does a lot of the work.

This is Ron, an early arrival at the Christmas Ball. He is waiting by the fire. I like to think he is getting prepared not being decorative. As should we.

We will put up a tree, in the front window, next week. It will be splendid. How good are you at waiting when everybody else isn't?

Advent Thought 5

My mother-in-law used to do a lot of embroidery and she made this for us as a Christmas gift shortly after we were married. It goes up every year and involves no chocolate whatsoever. We don't put up decorations until about a week before Christmas but an advent calendar is fine.

It is a nod in the direction of Christmas whilst continuing to wait, patiently.

Only one member of our current household of two can do the ribbons to the required standard (but she is rubbish at stacking the dishwasher).

Visiting sons expect to see it. It says something about all being well with the world. I guess family traditions do that.

Mother-in-law is unwell this Christmas and facing tough decisions about the future. A quick prayer for Ann each time we pass it is in order.

Advent Thought 22 and Number 24

As soon as the world of retail notices people enjoying something it takes it off them, polishes it, and sells it back to them. Tony Parsons said words along these lines in his excellent book Dispatches from the Front Line of Popular Culture. Since the book is now 20 years old it would be interesting to re-read it and see how it has aged. May do that.

Taking the long view of Advent I notice that Christmas jumpers, which were never a thing, have been thus polished.

And Advent calendars are much fancier things than the ones of my youth. In the early 1960s they were a piece of landscape foolscap paper with 24 cardboard panels or windows. You opened one each day and tried to work out how the image was related to Christmas. My sister and I were required to remember whose turn it was. I'm sure we both feel the other one cheated.

Whilst the pictures were somewhat semi-detached to the festival we both knew that a nativity scene was coming along on day 24 - the biggest window of them all. The calendar, of course, started on December 1st so there were 24 windows. Then the world of retail can keep its left over stock until next year.

This is my final Advent thought. It is Sunday, the fourth of Advent and also Christmas Eve. The 12 days of Christmas start tomorrow.

Everybody's waitin' for me to arrive
Sendin' out the message to all of my friends

I hope you have managed to wait, hope, rest and pray during this Advent season. And I hope you have managed to hold on to one or two precious thoughts that nobody can make better with polish and packaging.

Advent Thought 21 and Number 23

I was fortunate enough to hear Marcus du Soutoy at Bristol Festival of Ideas a few years ago. We pause a moment to note what a delight it is to live in or near a city that has such a festival. Bristol celebrates that its people are thinking.

Marcus du Soutoy is the Simonyi Professor for the Public Understanding of Science. I recall he started his talk by explaining that no six lottery numbers were more likely to win than any other six but that the amount you might expect to win (with how many people you shared the prize) would vary greatly according to your choice.

As compared to his predecessor in post, one Richard Dawkins, he has declared that his interest whilst in post will be science and not religion. He is a mathematician. He also plays football and the trumpet. Smart, sensitive, numerate, musical and sporty. What's not to like?

After Lotto he then went on to discuss the fact that David Beckham played at real Madrid with the number 23 on his back and how interesting that was. A prime for a player in his prime, as he didn't say.

Why is 23 so interesting. Let me count the ways. OK done that. Here's one. It is the lowest prime that consists of consecutive digits. Take a moment to work out what the next one is. There are more interesting thoughts about 23 here.

It is the 23rd of December. A Saturday. Clergy always have to develop a psychology of Christmas. There is a pattern of services which needs adjusting according to the proximity of Sunday. I hear my sons' voices from the past saying 'Not church again; we went yesterday'. In my church, when Christmas Day is Friday or Saturday, we abandon conventional Sunday and all pitch up at the Vicarage for carols. When Christmas day is a Sunday, as last year, it feels like we are at a normal Sunday service. This year it feels like the weekend lasts an extra day. My church is making our annual Crib Service the main worship focus of the day tomorrow afternoon, but I have been asked to preach and preside at a neighbouring church's early communion which they are having on Sunday and again on Monday.

There is a Twitter clergy-single-malt-club, where knackered vicars share a picture of their post-midnight communion tipple as they calculate how few hours sleep it is before the enxt daysa early communion (or the kids wake up).

How does your relationship to 25/12 change according to the day of the week it is? And is Saturday 23/12 a comfortable feel, or an odd one?

Well, it's been a year
It doesn't surprise me

Advent Thought 16 and Cash

Share it fairly but don't take a slice of my pie. Yeah, money sure makes the world go round, but can't buy me love (that's three if you're keeping up).

I don't care too much for money. I like having enough to be able to be generous with it. I tend to do that rather than save it for a rainy day so I am not very good at providing for my future at the expense of somebody else's present.

In 1973 my first month's pay-cheque was £63. I noticed that my colleague, who had been at the company two years, got £100. It seemed like a fortune.

I gave some money to my parents for my keep, lived pretty well socially and saved enough for a mortgage deposit in four years. If you had told me that one day my net salary would be £1800 and I wouldn't have risen to seniority at that employer I would have laughed at you.

We moved from Advent hymns to carols yesterday. And we had some Christmas readings.  It is hard to pick the Victorian parenting advice from the theology. Even harder to pick the history from the myth in the readings.

What we can do is dwell on the things put on the lips of the characters by the gospel authors and ask ourselves why. Why does Mary say 'Let it be to me as you have said.' Because the response to God's message at Christmas, angel-deliveroo or dawning realisation, is obedience.

Whatever circumstances you find yourselves in, even as weird as being with child without the fun of conception, accept that it is you, you are here and it is your circumstance. You probably won't be able to move on until you have settled into being the you to whom it must be.

Maybe choose one begger not to ignore today. It could have been you.

And that was much deeper than Monday morning 7.00 a.m. was ever meant to be, I'm sure. Lot's to hold in your heart and ponder. Have a good day.

Advent Thought 11 and Number 12

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, 12 drummers drumming.

So, by the time that had all finished, of what did I have the most?

Take a break and have an intuitive think. Don't do maths.

In fact the answer is a tie between geese and swans. On seven days I got six swans and on six days seven geese. Making 42 of each. The total is:

12 partridges
22 turtle doves
30 French hens
36 calling birds
40 gold rings
42 geese
42 swans
40 maids
36 ladies
30 Lords
22 pipers

Which makes for a splendid sequence. Well I think so. If there had been a thirteenth day the swans would have won clearly with maids and geese sharing second place.

Forgetting for the moment that the twelve days of Christmas is nothing to do with Advent and is a period running from Christmas Day to the Feast of the Epiphany on January 6th, my question to you is this. How good are you at guessing numbers?

And does it make a difference to how it feels to wait, hope, rest and pray? Today, find someone who might love this piece and consider if it communicates deep truth to them differently to emotionally charged words.

What does a Bible study for maths nerds look like? Some people, floored by an opening question to do with how we all feel, are longing for one. Count on it. We hate the way the world brings, as John Oliver put it, 'feelings to a facts fight.'

The majorette? A ha ha ha.

Rich Gospel Investigates

As delivered at Trendlewood Church on Christmas Day. Apologies that the opening joke is a local one. You may need to fit your own in to use elsewhere. To use this in a service dress as a private eye (dark glasses, hat, raincoat with collar pulled up).

On the word intriguing – stroke your chin before speaking it

On the word suspicious - look round from side to side before speaking it

On the word mysterious - scratch your head as if puzzled

Rich was reading the letters page of his local newspaper. He found it hard to understand why people seemed so anxious about car parking spaces in a town you could walk round in an hour.

Very mysterious (head scratch).

Still, not a problem for him. Foreign supermarket chains could, under no circumstances, be enquired into by a firm that specialised in 'Paranormal, supernatural and doctrinal investigations'. He dealt with huge issues'; not Lidl ones.

As he folded the paper away he spotted an advert. He scraped the spots off again so he could read it.

Wanted.

Someone who can explain why my Advent calendar only goes up to 24.

Love Joanna

'This is indeed my area of expertise' he said to himself, thinking doubly deeply, although it came out as 'Well, well'.

But it was also a good question. Very intriguing (stroke chin).

When is advent? he asked. No-one answered, because he was alone. He decided to take his thoughtfulness to a coffee shop. He was in a quandary. He must have got in it absent-mindedly so he got out and found his own car.

In the local coffee shop he asked, 'When is advent?'

This time the other customers all looked at him strangely and returned to their lattés and laptops.

He noticed an Advent calendar on the wall. It started at 1 and ended at 24. Joanna was right. But he recalled that Advent Sunday was only sometimes on the 1st of December and it hadn't been this year. So that was very mysterious (head scratch).

He went round the shops. That didn't work so he went in. He bought a selection of calendars. It would probably be the only time he could put chocolate on expenses.

After careful research and some alka-seltzer he concluded that door number 7 was usually a fluffy thing, door 14 was often weird and door 24 had a baby behind it.

Nor was there any consistency. Nobody seemed to agree about the picture to put behind each window. Maybe that was why he got so many messages saying Windows was updating.

But there never was a day 25. Christmas Day. The best day was never there. Very intriguing (stroke chin).

Did people have no time for it?

Did no-one know what to put behind the door?

Was there no money to be made out of 25 door calendars?

Very suspicious (look over shoulders).

He should start a campaign for real advent calendars on which door 7 showed a woman with a 2.00 a.m. craving for pickled walnuts and door 24 had Joseph saying 'Push'.

He made a mental note. Then he scrubbed his head and made the note in his pocket book, which was far more sensible. He was making no progress. He went home and looked at all the things he had noted in his pocket book. He decided to sleep on it.

He woke 30 minutes later in great pain and decided to sleep on his bed instead.

Considering he was fully fit it was odd that he slept fitfully.

Waking early he took a bath. 'Oy that's my bath' said a three inch tall, five foot wide man from down the corridor. It was his flatmate.

Instead of taking a bath he used his own shower. As the warm water refreshed him he remembered an old priest he had once met. He seemed to be a kindly old soul and had a breadth of knowledge about all things theological - especially the mysterious (head), intriguing (chin) or suspicious (shoulders). But the man was very long-winded so Rich only visited him in emergencies.

He bolted down a bowl full of wild bird seed with some milk, unaware the the garden birds were now eating muesli and enjoying it more than him.

He raced to the church where the kindly old priest worked. He was replacing a pink candle with a purple one mumbling about Mary candles. Rich had no idea who Mary Candles was.

He knew the priest was a bit deaf. As he was facing away from the door he walked right up to him and tapped him on the shoulder.

The elderly priest came round a few minutes later. Since he'd been terrified out of it Rich put him back into his skin.

'Hello Mr Gospel', said the priest, recognising him at last. 'What can I do for you?'

Rich explained about the problem with the Advent windows and how he was finding it all very mysterious (head).

The priest said, and we know he did because Rich took the precaution of recording it, having first reassured the owner of the precaution that he would give it back in a minute:

'An Advent calendar is a special calendar used to count the days of Advent in anticipation of Christmas. Since the date of the First Sunday of Advent varies, falling between November 27 and December 3 inclusive, many Advent calendars often begin on December 1, although those that are produced for a specific year often include the last few days of November that are part of the liturgical season. The Advent calendar was first used by German Lutherans in the 19th and 20th centuries but is now ubiquitous among adherents of many Christian denominations. December 25th is the first day of the season of Christmas, not the last day of the season of Advent.'

Amazing. He noted never to use liturgical, ubiquitous, adherent and denominations in the same sentence ever. But he had solved the problem.

As he left the church he saw Joe, the local paper boy.

'Hey Joe' he said 'Do you know why Advent calendars only go up to 24?'

He was looking forward to impressing Joe with his new-found knowledge. He liked impressing young people.

'Yeah', said Joe. 'It's so we can sell them next year if we over-stock.'

Trouble with trying to impress kids, thought Rich. They just don't get easily impressed.

And now he had another problem. Which answer to give Joanne?

THE END

Previous episodes of Rich Gospel Investigates Christmas can be found at:

http://stevetilley.blogspot.co.uk/2009/12/rich-gospel-investigates.html

http://stevetilley.blogspot.co.uk/2010/12/rich-gospel-investigates.html

http://stevetilley.blogspot.co.uk/2011/12/rich-gospel-investigates-light.html

Christmas Newsletter 2016

Punching above my weight for 39 years.

The annual letter from me and Mrs T is published here. Hope you enjoy it. It has photos. Such as this one.

Happy last week of Advent to you all. Please have a Happy Christmas when it finally arrives and enjoy all twelve days.

Thought for the Day

As delivered to the BBC Radio Bristol Breakfast Show with Emma Britton this morning:

Well it comes to the time of year when we sing carols. And people are looking forward to the BBC Radio Bristol Christmas Celebration on Monday.

And as a Christian minister I will probably get in trouble for this but some of the words of our carols really are nonsense.

For instance, when, in Once in Royal David's City, we sing:

Christian children all must be

Mild obedient, good as he

...we are learning more about Victorian parenting styles than Jesus' upbringing.

And from Away in a Manger:

The cattle are lowing
The baby awakes
But little Lord Jesus
No crying He makes

It is pure supposition that Jesus wasn't scared by the noise of cows that may or may not have been in or around his home at that time.

So what's going on? I used to get cross about all this but now, advanced in years, my tolerance has increased. What we have (beat) is a universal story.

The God I follow revealed himself in Jesus Christ, says the Bible. This is such a unique and special insight that song-writers, down the ages, have felt comfortable drawing attention to the truth by addition, embellishment and gloss.

This baby is so special, goes the story, that God made flesh is the only apt description. And he is going to live and die for everyone; so the Christmas story and songs can be all-embracing.

It's quite a liberating thought. It allows Santa, countless unlikely animals and all sorts of weird and wonderful extra characters, to be placed in worship at a manger. Not because of the baby; but because of who the baby turned out to be. And what he did.

Happy Easter everybody.

And when Emma responded by suggesting that babies in mangers raised safeguarding issues I was too slow to say 'Think Aleppo not Bristol'. Great comebacks often occur to me in the car on the way home.