Advent Thought 23

It gives me a lot of pleasure to finish my Advent thoughts on number 23 because that is the length of Advent this year starting, as it did, on  December 2nd. And so it finishes with a surprise. Chatting to my local undertakers a few weeks back they let slip that they would be dropping off complementary bottles of wine for Christmas as ever. I think they could tell that my face, twelve years into its stay in Nailsea, said, 'What wine?'

Turns out it had been delivered to the offices of the various churches I work with but had never actually reached me. This year I got my own, labelled bottle. Tonight I drink the health of those professions who will be on duty over Christmas. Thanks undertakers especially. You do a fine job. Cheers for the wine.

Happy Christmas everybody.

Advent Thought 22

There comes a time when, despite careful thought and preparation, the arrangements for one day take over the whole house. The normally pristine dining room table has two extension pieces in and is covered in lists. When did 'peel potatoes' ever have to go on a list before?

The thing is, and this takes most of us by surprise most years, the carefully thought-through plans for Christmas usually crash into real life - a relative taken ill, a complexity about travel arrangements, a missing ingredient.

Let's face it, coming home from church and cooking lunch for nine does not normally cause me to break sweat. Why this one?

Advent thought. Leave some space in your planning for the thing that hasn't happened that you are not expecting.

Angels might not literally pitch up with news, but it is as well to be prepared.

Advent Thought 21

Niger seeds, peanuts, sunflower hearts and fat balls. I spend a lot on my pets. I look out for them, scare away predators and keep them fed in the winter. I provide nesting sites and water. I record the different species that visit each day (nine today).

None of us has the reach to fix the whole world. Yet for me nine house sparrows, three wood pigeons, two collared doves, two blackbirds, a robin, a blackcap, a magpie, a blue tit and a dunnock were a little bit of the world I could look after.

My twelve year garden survey submitted to the RSPB every January adds to the data about bird population growth and decline. It also makes my looking out of the window slightly more useful than it might otherwise have been.

How are you making your bit of the world better?

Advent Thought 20

I swear we only really get to grips with the fridges and the freezer at Christmas. Today, answering the question 'Do we need to get some more butter?' rather than simply putting 'butter' on the shopping list, because you can always use butter, we actually bothered to check.

Well it turns out we don't. We have enough.

In trying to survive whatever version of the apocalypse comes our way next March I feel sure that there will be enough in already opened jars and packets in the corner of the fridge to keep us going.

We've become quite good at not wasting food, but clearly not good enough. We are so wealthy there is food we forgot we had.

What do you have too much of?

Advent Thought 19

A few years ago we realised that normal people tended to play Christmas music in their houses at Christmas and we had never done that. So we set off down to the local music emporium and purchased some weird and wonderful bits of unpopular Christmas music. None of your Mariah Carey or Michael Bublé  but some less well known stuff. Completely on spec I bought this album and loved it, mainly because it included some jazz piano shapes I have been able to copy.

It was never part of our Christmas tradition as our boys grew up. It first hit the home at around the turn of the millennium. Yet it is still asked for when visitors come, even family.

But it is now compulsory listening around this time and we have just had a first run through with a couple of drinks post #Mumwatch. Very relaxing.

So, what do you do at Christmas that everyone else thinks is daft? And is it 

By the way you needn't buy it to check it out. Stream it on Spotify.

Advent Thought 18

Sooner or later during Advent, Christmas carnage sets in. The tidy lounge becomes a present-wrapping hub.

It reminds me of a  passage by the late David Watson. He said that often on a summer's day he might long for a fresh breeze through the study window. But then, if he chose to open the window, it would blow all his papers all over the place. (You remember paper, surely?)

He related that to those people who said they desired God to be at work in their lives, but then when they allowed it to happen, their lives were turned upside down and they longed for the breezeless neat paper again.

I like giving gifts but the piles of gift-wrap, cards, tape and ribbon, not to mention the array of presents themselves, creates some temporary chaos.

Towards the end of the Advent waiting comes Christmas preparation. Still not the moment, but we need to sacrifice a little sovereignty over our tidiness in order to share a neater experience later. And that works on many levels.

Gifts are now wrapped and waiting in tidy piles. But the deeper spiritual untidiness has been part of my life for years.

Advent Thought 17

I don't spend much time on cards but I do spend a ridiculous amount of time on our Christmas letter.

A lovely friend here was spied out of the bedroom window a few years back. He was in the road opposite with a sketch pad, although at the time I didn't know if he had responsibilities as a surveyor or recorder of social information.

A few days later all became clear as a personalised, hand-drawn Christmas card arrived. This has been happening for ten years and we display the set, trying desperately to arrange the story in chronological order.

One of the cards even includes an exact depiction of my dressing gown, which is worrying. But we love the investment of time, in us, that the cards represent.

Advent is a funny time for remembering people. Having just worked my way down our Christmas card list I have had several moments of wondering if we have been sending a card to the wrong address for a number of years in some cases. How do people tell you of their change of address these days? So many possible ways.

So, practical Advent thought; if you get an update on family details, note the info down now in your Christmas card file (tell me you have one, please).

And spiritual one. Spare a payer for all those you send cards to, and all you receive them from.

Advent Thought 16

In one of his rarer moments of lucidity prompted by the Christian tradition, Bob Dylan once said that no-one does what is right; they just do what they want and then repent. If he was channelling his inner St Paul - all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God - then the boy done well.

As an insight it has followed me around over the years. I have been fortunate enough to lead a number of Christian communities and I have seen at first hand the many occasions on which the whole community has spoken as one to agree on a course of action and then stepped back from the job of making that thing happen.

Which links nicely to another quote I rediscovered yesterday:

In other words, a real leader is somebody who can help us to overcome the limitations of our own individual laziness and selfishness and weakness and fear and get us to do better things than we can get ourselves to do on our own.
(David Foster Wallace)

So the hurtful thing (which I have never allowed to hurt me because that is my choice) is when I see things that need to be done, and take people with me to a place where they agree they should be done, yet find it almost impossible to get people to join a team to do the thing, let alone lead it. It is potentially hurtful because, as the quote makes clear, it is always my fault. Vision casting needs to take people beyond nodding in agreement to rolled up sleeves.

There was an old story about a vicar who went to the railway track every Sunday morning and waited for the early train to pass under the bridge. At this point he gave a litle dance of joy and walked home. Questioned about it he acknowledged that since it was the only thing in the parish that moved without him pushing it he got pretty excited.

Don't worry. This is not a Christmas rebuke to my lovely church. It is an observation applicable as much to a country and Brexit as a church and its vision. It is one thing to agree on a vision. It is another to agree to contribute to the necessary work to make it happen.

20% of the people do 80% of the work. The somebody, anybody, nobody, everybody story also springs to mind which, if you know it, will not be as good as my version which contains mildly poor language.

A thought. A thought? Ah yes. If you think it is a good idea, get involved. If you don't think it is a good idea, say so.

Advent Thought 15

Very few products advertised as life-changing are truly that. But this tablet and I have been company for each other a few years now. This is my diary, my notebook, my social media accounts, my email and more.

The previous post, written largely on the tablet during a church service would previously have had to be transcribed from a notebook.

The knack, I believe, is to use labour saving devices to improve your quality of life; not simply to get more done.

If you get things done quicker you have more time to rest, hope, wait and pray. Which is what Advent is all about. Gaudete.

Advent Thought 14

Long-standing readers of this blog will have bumped into my observations about Christmas trappings before. Suffice it to say that decorating trees is a bit modern, we all do it too soon and yet it is a nice custom.

I grew up in a big old house with a mother who knew how things should be. They should be the way she did them.

Mum took a relative back-seat most of the time but at Christmas she became very much in charge.

One tradition slightly awry and my Mum would announce that Christmas was ruined. It was always ruined, but in a slightly different way each year. Pick from:

• We always had a large tree with dodgy lights
• Two dogs who tried to eat any gift-wrapped food.
• Grandma crushing the Wolverhamptom Wanderers Subbuteo team underfooot
• Missing the Morecambe and Wise Christmas Show
• Lunch not starting until 2 because it wouldn't all fit in the oven
• 12 days sweeping up pine needles.

The cul-de-sac opposite our house (pictured) is going a bit stir-crazy with the outdoor lights and is fast becoming a visitor attraction. We like to think our tree in the window is a tasteful counter to all this garishness.

We try not to peak too soon so this weekend is as early as we ever put up a tree.

Where is the Advent thought? I guess it is this. Don't get so swept up in the having to do Christmas things just so that you forget to look forward to it and then enjoy it. And remind yourself afresh that memories are more easily recalled of those things that didn't go quite according to plan.

Advent Thought 13

This is an agroove by Kreafunk. Great names for a great piece of kit and fine firm. It is a bluetooth speaker and has given me an inordinate amount of pleasure. From its sleek design you might guess it is Scandinavian, Danish to be precise, although assembled in China.

I remember the days when, if I read a review of a piece of music that sounded interesting, I had to either listen out for it, find someone who owned it or buy it on spec.

Now I use Spotify on my phone and can sample reviewed music from the comfort of my own bed whilst avoiding cutting myself off from the world with headphones.

All mortal flesh may be currently charged with keeping silence but this merry gentleman is agrooving.

And this is one way the world is getting better. What has come along to help you enjoy life while you wait? Consider all the words in this piece that would have been meaningless 10, 100 and 1000 years ago.

Posts on ways life is getting worse are available but not the current point.

Advent Thought 12

Two fine looking younger people. What's going on? A kiss? A conspiratorial whisper? I think we can tell who is in charge, for sure.

We tend not to be the sort of household where portraits of the family are displayed. So this picture is not available in the public rooms at Tilley mansions. It is a detail from a larger collection which we invested stupid money in around the time of our silver wedding anniversary. We keep it on our bedroom wall.

What happened to those two? They moved house, changed jobs, saw their children leave home, gradually became the older generation and yet also, nothing changed.

We all need a bit of stability in order to find our way though turbulence. Blessed? Fortunate? You decide. We'll take either description.

In so far as a picture can be true it was true once and has been true ever since. Freeze frame now. Is it true? Is it universally true or just true for the moment?

Journalistic pictures, like advent hopes and longings, are always telling a deeper truth. What do you see? What does it say?

Advent Thought 11

It's taken me a while to come to terms with being a glasses wearer. The first signs of deterioration came when, aged about 45, it was commented that if I held the newspaper any further away it would be in the next room.

Off I went to Specsavers, returning with a prescription for reading glasses. From then on, every couple of years, I had to remember that if I was finding it hard to concentrate on reading it was probably because I needed an eye test. Cheaper than an arm extension.

Wind forward to about 2007 and I had become the sort of person who put their glasses on and off a lot, or kept them on the end of my nose and looked over them. My Dad wore his glasses on a chain round his neck. Never liked that look.

And so it was back to Specsavers again to embrace varifocals. It was, as many have said, weird at first. My peripheral vision was full of kaleidoscopic fault-lines for a couple of days. It takes longer for others but your brain soon works out how to interpret the images.

I became a permanent glasses wearer and now I can't do without them. That said, many years of being comfortable walking around the house in the dark have meant I don't need to put them on to pop downstairs in the night for whatever you need to pop downstairs in the night for. But otherwise I wear them all the time.

I have a terrific advantage over many generations of ancestors for whom the end of eyesight would have meant the end of close-quarters work.

Advent. A time for seeing things as they really are. What do you take for granted? Devote a moment or two to gratitude.

Advent Thought 10

This little alarm cost me £5 about 20 years ago. Many of the function buttons now demonstrate age - for instance I can only scroll through numbers in one direction. If I wake before it is due to go off and want to disable it then removing and replacing the battery is the quickest way.

It has one major attribute which I like in an alarm. If it does reach the designated time it can be silenced with a smart blow to the top. Being capable of being hit and surviving is an essential feature, in my opinion, not just for an alarm clock but for all humans.

It has a second redeeming quality. It is part of the furniture. I know how to deal with it in the dark.

Recently the Mike Tyson boxing strategy was revisited in the light of the rebirth of Tyson Fury. Tyson (M) said that everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face.

Well, now is the time to wake out of sleep, preferably without being punched in the face or hit over the head. My alarm clock has survived the relentless onslaught of TCMT's visual merchandising of my entire life.

Today's pondering. Style or function? Which cuts the mustard for you?

Advent Thought 9

No-one can ever find the garage light switch. It's the middle one of these three as you come into my study. All our houses have quirky bits that only the initiates can understand.

Are you looking for a switch to turn your life on but worried that anything Christian might be too weird? I have news. It's quirky outside as well as in. Bring your quirks, mix them with ours add a touch of Jesus and watch things illuminate.

Remember to turn the lights off when leaving. We never do.

Advent Thought 8

The first entry in my first proper journal begins 'Finished POT for good.' This was 1987. POT is Post Ordination Training, known affectionately as potty training in the clergy club. It takes a further forty years or so to realise that you know nothing and trusting God is all there is.

I am now on volume four. I think I've got the magnification of the image right but some clever person may be able to work out how to read it. I am giving you a thin chance to read some details and asking you not to.

On a school trip to France in 1968, aged 12, my diary was discovered by my alleged friends. They entertained each other greatly by reading it to each other in my presence and laughing. It was another small step into the real world for a sheltered kid and put me off writing personal thoughts down for the next twenty years or so.

I have journaled regularly, but not daily, since 1987. The deal is this. My family know I do it. They can read it if they want to. I would prefer they didn't. It works on trust, as indeed does my life. Even though people are going to be stupid I trust them not to be. So I am trusting you all.

The existence of the journals is a picture of this in some small way. I work out what I think and feel by writing it down and living with it. Consecutive entries can contradict each other. I also record what I read, gigs I go to and movies/ podcasts and box-sets I see.

Who knows you as you really are? I don't think I even know myself very well. Now we see through a glass darkly; then we shall see face-to-face.

Advent Thought 7

As someone said the other day, 'They've put the decorations up while Chris Rea is still looking for his car keys.' It's worse than that. Chris Rea's family haven't even finalised the arrangements for Christmas.

So, as the cul-de-sac opposite which I live makes its renewed attempt to be a Nailsea street which gets visited because of the splendour of its lights, even the street light outside my house is out. Don't tell. We sleep better when it's broken.

Yet in the dark streets shineth...

This year we have gone for tokenism. Our young friend Elliott makes reindeer each Christmas. I think Dad does a lot of the work.

This is Ron, an early arrival at the Christmas Ball. He is waiting by the fire. I like to think he is getting prepared not being decorative. As should we.

We will put up a tree, in the front window, next week. It will be splendid. How good are you at waiting when everybody else isn't?

Advent Thought 6

There is a certain necessity of patience about an orchid. Fragile, delicate and beautiful, this one thrives in a warm bathroom. The petals look lovely for a while and then gradually drop off. At this point all you can do is wait. It is resting. It is gathering up its botanical willpower to go again. You have to resist the desire to over-water it during this waiting time. Orchids don't exactly thrive on neglect but putting them in the right place is very important. Once that is done they are easy to care for. That window stays shut in the cold weather.

Your poinsettias may win the Christmas beauty pageant, but the orchid will be back.

If your life is in an ugly place right now you might have to wait it out for a bit before it can be beautiful (again).

And if you've been busy flowering for a long while then take some Advent time to build up your strength. Preferably before bits begin to drop off, in your case.

Advent Thought 5

My mother-in-law used to do a lot of embroidery and she made this for us as a Christmas gift shortly after we were married. It goes up every year and involves no chocolate whatsoever. We don't put up decorations until about a week before Christmas but an advent calendar is fine.

It is a nod in the direction of Christmas whilst continuing to wait, patiently.

Only one member of our current household of two can do the ribbons to the required standard (but she is rubbish at stacking the dishwasher).

Visiting sons expect to see it. It says something about all being well with the world. I guess family traditions do that.

Mother-in-law is unwell this Christmas and facing tough decisions about the future. A quick prayer for Ann each time we pass it is in order.

Advent Thought 4

A short break from gripping glimpses of our beautiful home. There are many benefits to being the vicar of a church without a building. But every now and again our home is the only place where something that needs doing co-operatively can be done.

We have been collecting food and small items in order to make a gift of a hamper to all our local CAP (Christians Against Poverty) clients who have been accepting help with debt management. Those who have committed to an austere Christmas as part of becoming debt-free get a little light in their lives. It's a great thing to do.

Tonight our conservatory becomes the hamper-packing zone (I'm out for the night; TCMT is in charge).

Even in one of the wealthiest parishes in the south-west there are folk who need rescue. And they have done the hard thing. They have picked up a phone and said, 'Can you help me; I'm in a mess'. I had to do that once and was treated well. I've never forgotten.

If you're in a mess ask for help. If you can help, help. Harder than it sounds.

(The basket full of corks is nothing to do with this.)