Things Can Only Get 2

Before we go any further, here's a quick guide to campaign promises. The governing party says to the main opposition party 'You have no plans.' This is usually true because manifestos are the place for plans and you can't write those too early. If you start making promises in advance the conversation goes like this:

Government: Show us your plans.

Opposition: We plan to devote our attention to (name issue).

Government: How will you cost that?

Opposition: We'll spend (£X) on (name target) raising the money by (explain costing).

Government: (Public) That's ridiculous, you'll never achieve your aim with so little money.

Government (Private) That's a good way to raise money and the opposition can't criticise it because they announced they were going to do it. We'll do it and spend it on something else.

So don't mention your plans and accept the temporary criticism.

After his soaking on Day 1 you would have thought that PM Rishi would try to avoid too many gaff opportunities. Famously, in a previous campaign, he asked a homeless man in a drop-in if he would like to get into business. The reply was along the lines that the feller would be prioritising finding somewhere to sleep out of the cold tonight.

Yesterday PMR managed to be rumbled taking prepared questions from Conservatives dressed as factory workers and then asked a Welshman if he was looking forward to the European Football Championships, a competition for which Wales have failed to qualify.

Metaphor alert. Today he chose the Titanic Museum in Belfast as his backdrop. If he finds himself  visiting a Canal Yard in Scunthorpe there's no way his team will get the photo-choreography right.

Redwood and Gove have stood down, depriving us of two possible Portillo moments. There will be others.