Help

Mum's been here for two and a half hours and she's still alive so my prayers for patience and self-control have obviously been answered. She's just taken a short break from changing the subject to watch a DVD which came free with her new sofa. She has a DVD player herself but it's too low down and anyway she thought the box with the furniture contained a video and she hasn't got a video player.

A son is here and is on granduty too so we are keeping her occupied by playing grantag.

So, to summarise, the next 24 hours would be a good time to pop round unexpectedly and say hello or scrounge a coffee, tea, beer, wine or whatever. This applies even if you are a friend I haven't ever met apart from on the internet who purports to be female and attractive but is actually a bearded, male axe murderer. Please bring your own axe.