The Water Walker's Apprentice

Vocational Work

2012-01-30T13:39:00.001Z

At my leaving do from Eagle Star Insurance in 1981 one of my colleagues wished me luck in my new vacation. I'm sure it was a slip of the tongue.

Priesthood is one of the few occupations still seen as vocational. Notwithstanding the impact of Common Tenure, which leaves clergy to be treated, and feeling, more like the salaried than the stipended, most of us do the job because of a sense of calling and feel that the money we get each month, rather than payment for services rendered, is to save us from the necessity of earning our livings.

We may discuss that some other time.

I've wondered afresh recently, especially in the light of the discussion about salaries for CEOs, if there might be such a thing as a vocational banker.

Who else does this? Some teachers, medics and charity sector professionals maybe but the list doesn't extend easily.

By vocational I mean doing the job by hook or by crook regardless of payment.

The argument about bankers' salaries seems to be that no-one would move sideways to help RBS and in the process take a huge salary cut, therefore the bank needs to offer a market rate. Having done that, albeit with a slashed bonus scheme, Stephen Hester has now been pressured into waiving his right to the bonus negotiated.

How about if there were a group of senior financiers who would say this:

We care about markets, wealth creation and monetary security. It has been our lives' work to study it and manage it. We now pledge ourselves to help ailing financial institutions (even if they are countries) for the rest of our working lives at no more remuneration than that which saves us having to work for our living elsewhere.

Go on. I dare one of you to go first. Bankpriests. We need you.

Insurance

2012-01-28T10:18:00.000Z

Back in the day, the day being 1973-1981, I worked in the insurance industry. Part of the training, you may be relieved to hear, was a course on Elements of Insurance. It was part one of a nine-part course to become an Associate of the Chartered Insurance Institute (ACII).

One of the first things we were required to learn was this. The basic principle of insurance is that the premiums of the many compensated the misfortunes of the the few. Fair enough. Nobody gets stung by a big loss because everyone agrees to a small loss calculated on the basis of experience.

I had worries about this when various groups began to be set aside, told they represented a low risk, and offered cheap premiums. Think SAGA, women drivers, post-codes for house insurance and many other examples.

Today we hear often that young people, once they have passed their tests, cannot afford insurance for their cars.

This week I read that life insurance may, in the future, use genetic readers to anticipate a person's chance of an early passing and thus raising the premium for the life-limited. I hope that various ethical committees will say that this is a bridge too far, But I wonder if we have established a dangerous precedent.

What would it be like if all insurance premiums were better rounded? Then the fortunes of the many would still contribute to compensation.

Not having a claim is not a matter, as one customer once told me, of not getting your money's worth. It is a cause for rejoicing about the absence of misfortune.

Spirituality

2012-01-24T08:53:00.002Z

I was at clergy meeting the other day at which a guest speaker talked about spirituality. I think, and I lost concentration at about sentence two so I may be wrong, that we were being encouraged to make time for our own spirituality in order to sustain ourselves in our demanding roles.

I used to do a job training youth leaders. From time to time this involved talking to clergy about youth-work. I discovered, quite early on, that if I talked specifics I often got the reply 'That won't work here mate and I'll tell you why.' Not always so politely. So I spoke in general terms and principles and allowed others to do the application to their local situation. This had some success.

I think this is what our guest speaker was doing the other day although her precise generalisations (can't believe I wrote that, sorry) were hard to pin down. Elusive wisps of thoughts and ideas came and went, every one of them, sending my mind off on a journey to a better place. Maybe this is what a spirituality adviser should do. But the result was that when we were asked to respond to what she had said I had no idea what the question was. It seemed that most others in the room, with the exception of some of the more recently ordained clergy, knew what to talk about at this point.

The more they spoke the more I thought I wouldn't because I would seem weird. I get this a lot. So I wrote a bit. This usually helps. Just now I found my notes. It occurs to me that discovering others who saw the world my way might be an encouragement. So here, with a bit of tidying, is what I wrote:

What sort of spirituality do you identify with?
Which do you prefer? I do not engage with life as a series of preferences. My life is not especially binary, digital. If given a series of choices I will often make one, but not out of long-term established principle; merely then and there. Tea or coffee? Chips or mash? Bath or shower? Silence or company? Read or write? Mercedes or VW? (That one's real, current and hard.)

If given a choice of yellow and any other colour, yellow will usually lose. But asked to choose between any other two colours I will probably not have a favourite.

Our speaker just said, 'If I am not astonished (by the world) I am not paying attention.' What has astonished me this week? Nothing. Some people find this question easy. I am not often shocked (although I don't like horror movies so tend to avoid trying to be shocked) and the opposite is also true. I am rarely astonished. Being astonished has just been equated with paying attention. I think I am permanently curious but rarely astonished. The world has a consistency about it such that only the miraculous and street magic (trickery) astonishes me. Since 'astonished' is such a wrong word for me I find the question hard.

So I won't usually hate a week but neither will I instantly and clearly be able to tell you what was the best bit. I wonder if seeing the world in terms of being rather than doing (which I be) makes it peculiarly difficult to identify the best doings of the week. What was the best bit of last week? Being me. It was great. I have eyes and opposable thumbs. Ain't that the dogs?

So what is my response to questions such as, 'What sort of spirituality do you identify with?' It's difficult. All of them. None of them.

If there are any people out there who understand this and would like to talk about it please get in touch. Use the comments box, tweet @s1eve or pick any other way you know.

And nobody mentioned Jesus, once.

Important information from Royal Mail

2012-01-19T17:01:00.002Z

Along with many people in 'my area' I am going to have changes to my Royal Mail service. A letter, from Plymouth so I don't know quite how big 'my area' is, explains why these changes are necessary.

These changes are necessary to give best value, invest in modern equipment and stop Royal Mail personnel getting a hernia from their heavy bags. Apparently it has not occurred to Glynn Lane, Delivery Sector Manager for the Nailsea area, that I might expect these things to happen as a matter of course.

Still, we get to heading three, 'What this means for you.' I quote in full:

We will continue to deliver in the morning and for a longer period during the day. Many customers will continue to get their mail by lunchtime.
The time you receive your mail will depend on where you are on the new delivery route. This may be later or possibly earlier than you are used to.
As I am sure you understand, when mail volumes vary, I may need to adjust delivery arrangements and time.

He finishes:

'These changes may mean a different postman or woman ... will deliver to you...'

May I summarise Glynn's letter for the hard-of-understanding:

As a result of us doing what you would expect us to do we may deliver your post earlier, at the same time or later in future. In busy times your post may be late. This delivery may be carried out by the same, or different, personnel to those you are used to.

Gee thanks. Load off my mind Glynn.

Garden Bird Sightings

2012-01-16T19:07:00.000Z

Hereare the results of a year's staring out of the window. I have listedthe species (21 different ones) seen in, or immediately over, mygarden in the last year. The number following is the most of thatspecies seen at any one time, followed in brackets by the date on which thatoccurred. The final number is the figure for 2010:

Blackbird5 (14/1/11) 5

Blackcap 2 (several) 2

Blue Tit 5(6/1/11) 3

Chaffinch 3 (20/2/11) 2

Coal Tit 1 (10/5/11)2

Collared Dove 5 (6/3/11) 7

Dunnock 2 (several)4

Goldfinch 6 (8/2/11) (20/2/11) 4

Great Tit 2(several) 3

House Martin 16 (31/8/11) 17

HouseSparrow 16 (18/11/11) 14

Jackdaw 2 (28/3/11) 2

Jay1 (1/1/11) 2

Long-tailed Tit 2 (31/1/11) 5

Magpie 3(5/1/11) (27/2/11) 2

Robin 2 (several) 2

Sparrowhawk 1(22/2/11) 0

Starling20 (25/3/11) 36

Swift 5 (26/6/11) 3

Wood Pigeon 3(several) 3

Wren 1 (several) 1

Observed2010 but not 2011:

Black-headedGulls

CommonGull

Crow

Fieldfare

GreenFinch

HerringGull

Heron

PiedWagtail

Redwing

SongThrush

Swallow

Theeagle, parakeet and giraffe observations noted in the book all seemto have taken place on Tuesdays which, coincidentally, is when I hostthe Holy Trinity leadership team meeting.

Shipwrecks

2012-01-14T16:12:00.001Z

In Rhossili Bay on the end of the Gower Peninsula is a beautiful beach. Two thirds of the way along you can make out, from the cliffs above, some weird shapes in the sand. They look as if they could have been old groynes or a small boat that has long since died.

Approaching it you discover the alignment of the wood doesn't quite work as sea defence or small boat. In fact you can see the prow of an enormous boat. There is a mixture of wood and metal work that suggests it may be old but not that old.

In fact this is the Helvetia, which sank in 1887 without loss of life although the story is that the cargo of wood now makes up the floor of many local houses. Sadly there was a tragedy when six men were killed in the operation to recover the valuable anchor.

I pondered our island existence this week. It has been a week when a British submarine lost in 1942 off Malta was found and declared a war grave for the 90 hands who perished and also when a huge passenger boat capsized, also in the Med, currently with a loss of life of only three. I fear this will rise.

We live on a planet made up largely of water. Those early explorers who went to sea not knowing where they would end up sure were brave, or at minimum had more curiosity than fear. But shipwrecks tend to stay where they happen.

The wreck of the Helvetia is strangely beautiful at low-tide in the January light. It breaks up the monotony of the miles of sand but like flowers attached to a lamp-post. How fragile we are.

January 4th Faith

2012-01-04T16:53:00.000Z

So, as some of you know, I got dressed yesterday and did some work. It helped. What helped particularly was meeting with a very ordinary bunch of, yeah let's say it, not that young, members of a local church who wanted help with learning to lead worship, pray in church, read the Bible and preach. Doing this sort of thing is an absolute priority for me. Partly because it clears my diary of having to plan services because others can do it and partly because delegation is the business I am in.

This morning I said Morning Prayer with two other guys in a cold church. They have faithfully done this every Wednesday throughout a vacancy that is nearly two years old now. Only recently have I begun to join them. I don't think there was any clear articulation of why it should be done. It just seemed right to them to carry on and so they did, come rain or shine.

Routine is a good way to keep faithful. You follow the patterns laid down in the past because then the journey is familiar. Footpaths tend to lead to the same place every time, unless you are at Hogwarts or something.

Every time I have posted, over the last eight years, in a manner such as I did yesterday, or indeed ventured that sort of information in a conversation, I have found it tremendously rewarding. Not rewarding in the sense that everyone says 'there, there, buck up' even though they do and it's OK, but rewarding in the sense that it seems to be a helpful thing to say. Judging by the feedback on Facebook and in the comments box I suspect that I am being more helpful to people when I say how I really feel. Obviously not the sort of thing to blurt out on a bereavement visit but you know what I mean.

I used to enjoy a quote that said something like;

Tell them about your certainties - they'll have enough doubts of their own.

I think it was the late David Watson who said it, or at least popularised it. Thing is, that leaves the impression that the clergy are the only ones with 100% clarity of faith all the time. Clergy can come across as just a bit over-sincere - you know that thing we do with slightly more eye contact than everyone is comfortable with.

After prayers I went shopping for a bit - a wander ponder if you like and anyway I had to buy some birthday presents. Another reason January sucks is that half the family have birthdays in it and that is joined by the car insurance renewal and my balancing tax payment for the year.

So the current state of me is that I am bright and breezy and not particularly stressed that the world is currently a place of godless truth and beauty. I will attend tonight's prayer time with a clear conscience and maybe even say a few myself.

In those days the word of the Lord was rare; there were not many visions.

It's from the beginning of Samuel. We don't quote it often enough.

January 3rd Faith

2012-01-03T11:30:00.003Z

I have to ease myself into it. Like getting into a too-hot bath it has to be done gingerly. Subtle difference is that, once entered, a bath is by-and-large pleasant.

It's not the work I worry about. I can do tasks after Christmas. I can get stuff done.

It's the faith. Where did it go?

There are several mornings a year when I wake up not believing in God and have to do that Descartian locking myself in a metaphorical cupboard thing until I can face the possibility of spiritual questions. Not quite cogito yet. You?

Let me show my working. It may bother you but it gets me going.

Suppose there is no God. It's easy if you try. Then put on a dog-collar. Ha. Weird isn't it? Why are you wearing a symbol of spiritual support to others if you don't think there is a God? Take it off for a bit.

Now look around you. You have a job with very few responsibilities and a nice house and a salary that works as long as you are sensible or have a partner who works. All you have to do to keep those things is to make a few glib and platitudinous statements once a week and pitch up when expected at various occasions. Far more than you could possibly imagine can be delegated. Could you manage that? You may be a con-artist but you are quite a good one.

OK. So that's a starting point. You can come out of the cupboard now. You are a hypocrite but aren't we all? You know you have felt like this before and getting on with things will move you on, or at least has in the past.

Your next step is to decide if any of the things you are going to be talking about can be said to be true in any sense. The world kinda needs a meta-narrative and the Christian one is a good one. Triumph of good over evil; live pessimistically but hold on to a grand hope etc. If there is a God he would be like a good father; if he cared for us he would enter our world, his glory veiled possibly. So that was Christmas.

Just a few days ago I was singing that we might let:

Our happy voices rend the jocund air asunder

Tried it at Trendlewood Church New Year's morning. Never seen a bunch of people less likely to rend the air, jocund or otherwise.

Maybe others feel like me too. Or just went to better parties where they weren't the driver.

But that is where I have reached currently. There may be no God but I will carry on acting as if there is for a bit until he catches up with me again, or I with him. If he is there he won't be hiding.

I'll add some new bricks to this wall over the next few days. I thought it might encourage you to know that you are not the only one who feels, from time to time, that everything has been in vain, but your pension is probably not tied to it quite so tightly.

Happy new year.

The Animals' Tales

2011-12-25T17:35:00.000Z

As used at Holy Trinity, Nailsea Crib Service yesterday.

TheStory of the Journey - The Donkey's Tale
Iam a donkey. To tell the truth I don't have a name. Everyone calls melittle. I suppose I am small for my age. But small creatures can doimportant tasks.

CaesarAugustus wanted to know how many people were in the Roman Empire. Sohe made everyone go home.

Whena census was taken in the Roman Empire everyone had to get back totheir birthplace and sign in. All the important people got the bestrides. Those with no money either walked or got a donkey.

Igot to carry this woman who was pregnant. Very pregnant. I put myhooves down really carefully in case a loud noise started her off.

Andher bloke, Joseph, came from David's family. The great King David ofIsrael. And everyone knows that he came from - yeah that's right -Bethlehem, In Judea. But they lived in Nazareth in Galilee. That'seighty miles away and further if you don't want to go throughSamaria. Which we didn't. Scum.

Ittook us a week. Amazing she didn't have the baby on the way.

Andwhen we got to Bethlehem it was ramming. I wondered if some peoplewanted to show off that they came from the same town as David.

Andall the rooms were taken. Everyone must have got there early to get abed. So Mary and Joseph had to kip at my place. With the otheranimals.

I'lllet Daisy the cow take the story on.

Insidethe Stable - The Cow's Tale
Moo.Moo.

HiI'm Daisy. High quality, organic milk supply to the hospitalityindustry.

Thisbit of the story gets exaggerated. Everyone reckons they know whathappened and adds a bit of detail. To be honest it all took placequite quickly. Mary and Joseph crashed in the barn and that was whereshe had the baby. When Luke wrote it down all he said was:

Whilethey were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gavebirth to her first-born, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placedhim in a manger...

AsI remember it we all tried to move to the side to give them a bit ofroom. Everyone respects a birth round here.

Butit all went well. Lots of happy voices and then Mary and the babywent to sleep and Joseph went to the pub.

Wehad a bet on what they would call the kid. My money was on David - itseemed to fit - but everyone lost. They called him Joshua; that'sJesus in Greek. It means 'The Lord saves.' Hmm. I wonder.

Howdo I know all this? Remember, not all cows are as silly as they look.

Outin the Fields -The Sheep's Tale
Itwas night. We were all asleep. It was a bit of a boring night.

Sorry.I'm forgetting myself. Name's Harry. Harry the lamb. I told my Mum itwould have been easier to remember if it had been Larry but what canyou do?

I'llnever forget what happened next. It became day. Not slowly as usual.At once. In an instant. Kaflash!

Anda thing appeared. I didn't know what it was. The shepherds, who hadbeen doing OK up to then, went crazy. They are supposed to protectus but they hid behind us while we tried to hide behind each other.It was chaos.

Anda voice said:

Donot be afraid.

Didn'treally work. We carried on being more afraid. Because the kaflashtalked.

Thenit spoke some more and said a baby had been born, was dressed incloths, was lying in a manger and was really quite important.

Thekaflash got brighter and started singing:

Gloryto God in the highest, and on earth peace to those on whom his favourrests.

Rubbishsong. Great video.

Sothe shepherds left us and went to visit Bethlehem. Left us. Alone inthe dark again. In the fields, by ourselves. That was frightening.

Whenthey came back they seemed very excited. They kept talking about whathad happened and told everyone who passed by the next day.

Amazing.

AnotherJourney - the Camel'sTale
If you want to gosomewhere in style you don't walk. You don't go on a little donkey.You hire a camel.

That's me that is.Tall. Distinguished. Very capable. Someone once called us the shipsof the desert.

They must have meant mysister. She looks like the back end of a liner. I, on the otherhand...

Anyway, my story.

One day some wise menwho studied the stars hired me and my mates for a few weeks to travelto the east, to Jerusalem. They wanted to see a new king. They hadseen it in the stars.

In Jerusalem we stoppedand asked where the king was, thinking everyone would send us to thePalace. Nobody knew anything.

Eventually some priestsand teachers did a bit of checking. They told King Herod, the currentking, what they had found out. He sent us on our way to Bethlehem. Welooked up and a star seemed to be moving there too. Cool.

When we got toBethlehem we found a house where the baby they were all talking aboutlived. The wise guys went in and said hello and left presents.

Herod had told us toreport back to him but the wise guys decided not to. There wassomething of the night about him.

Rich Gospel Investigates the Light

2011-12-25T17:24:00.000Z

To use this in a service dress asa private eye (dark glasses, hat, raincoat with collar pulled up)

Onthe word intriguing– stroke your chin before speaking it

Onthe word suspicious- look round from side to side before speaking it

Onthe word mysterious- scratch your head as if puzzled

It was Christmas Eve and Rich Gospelwas about to go home for Christmas.

It was a busy time of year. At theoffices of Glad, Tidings, Comfort and Joy – the theologicaldetective agency – the phone was ringing incessantly. Sadly,incessantly wasn't picking up.

'Paranormal,supernatural and doctrinal investigations,' they'd put on thebusiness cards.

Verypopular this time of year. It had been the busiest Christmas seasonever and Rich had taken all the countings. Oops. Of course he meantcounted all the takings. Obviously.

Suddenlya letter came through the window and landed on his desk. The windowhad been closed but luckily the letter was tied to a brick.

Very(lookround from side to side)suspicious.

Heraced outside but there was no-one in sight. Very (scratchyour head) mysterious.

Picking bits of broken glass out ofhis hair, Rich opened the letter.

'Dear Mr Gospel', it said, 'Mydaughter has asked for a very specific sort of torch for Christmas.She wants a light that shines in the darkness that the darknessdoesn't understand.'

Rich had a ponder. He toasted it andspread it with jam. Best ponder he'd had for ages. Then he went backto his train of thought. Sadly the station was closed so he had toreturn to work.

He knew about light. It wasn't asclever as it was made out to be. Think about it. Every time you put alight on it is because the room is dark. The dark must have got therefirst. If scientists listened to him (which they didn't because theytried to avoid being in the same room as an eccentric crank) theywould be investigating not the speed of light but the speed of dark.

He had a little wonder, a 1987 one,a good year for wonder. It went very well with the ponder he had justfinished.

Soif all the girl wanted was a light that shines in the darkness hecould give her a torch, a lamp, a candle, a bulb, a match, a fire, atinderstick, a taper, a laser beam, a thunderflash... easy. But shewanted a light that the darkness didn't understand. Weird. In factvery (strokeyour chin) intriguing.

Only recently he had whispered intohis computer keyboard that he hadn't washed his hands today. This hadturned it off.

He picked it up and kicked it acrossthe room. This booted it up. He waited for it to be ready for useagain.

Hedecided to search for lights that shine in the darkness but thissimply took him to the web-sites of lighting companies. Very (strokeyour chin) intriguing.

Sohe changed his search string for a piece of rope and tried the words'understanding the darkness'. This took him to some verydisappointing web-sites all about goths. Very (scratchyour head) mysterious.

He was about to remove the piece ofwood from the top of the computer to log off when he noticed, fardown the search list, a quote from a book by a man called John. Mencalled John were, in his experience, deeply in touch with theinnermost secrets of the theological universe. Something to do withthe meaning of their name. Jonathan means God has given us a gift.

He read the quote. It was from avery old book but he thought he had one which he had used lastChristmas when investigating angels.

He got the book down from his shelf.He read the beginning of John:

...and the light shineth in thedarkness and the darkness comprehendesd it not.

It was very old language in hisBible; he must get a new one. Then he had a thought. After his ponderand wonder he was pretty full but eating always helped.Comprehending. That means understanding, doesn't it?

Very(strokeyour chin) intriguing.

He read on. On wasn't as interestingas the Bible so he went back to it. What was this light?

Ashe read he found out more and more. The light wasn't a torch or acandle. It was illuminating in a different way. It was a person. Aperson who throws light on things. A person who - very (scratchyour head) mysterious-was said to come from God.

Stillhe had his answer and that was what he got paid for. He was about tosend the reply when he realised he had no address to write back to.Just a brick and a broken window. He'd forgotten that this was very(lookround from side to side)suspicious.

He went back into his office where asurfer was just leaving. He was from an emergency boarding companyand had tidied up the window.

Give me the answer he said, and thebrick. If you let me take it to the client she'll pay for the windowto be fixed. She just wanted to get your attention.

Very(scratchyour head) mysterious.Buthe had one thing in common with the window. He was also shattered. Heheaded for home before anyone else needed investigating, a copy ofJohn's clever book tucked under his arm, to read over Christmas.

This is what he started to read...

(Reading John 1:1-14)

See Through?

2011-12-22T07:57:00.000Z

A quote from the Church Times drops into the in-tray of WWA's 'truth is stranger than fiction' department:

The likes and dislikes of the PCC and the reordering committee may come into play if your DAC is equally happy for a modern, glass-walled lavatory area, or for a panelled, more traditional-looking one.

If a Parochial Church Council (PCC) and its Diocesan Advisory Committee (for the care of churches) (DAC) cannot issue, today, a joint statement that glass-walled lavatory areas are inadvisable in churches I think we all out to go home.

Year in Status

2011-12-20T19:08:00.000Z

First one Twitter; second one Facebook

What if?

2011-12-19T18:34:00.000Z

OK this is a 'What if ?' post. If you don't know what one of those is then go away until you do.

See, the thing is, every Christmas someone goes to a lot of trouble to debunk a bit of Christmas. This year an excellent, and scholarly work by Anthony Billington points out that the word we translate as 'inn' in Luke 2 is probably wrong. It is more likely to mean no guest room. Read it here.

Most exaggerations and additons to the Christmas story (number and arrival time of wise men, presence of animals, requests to Christian children to behave nicely) have been dealt with at some point over the years. They are largely the fault of Victorian carol-writers.

My 'What if' is this. What if it's all bunk? No, not rubbish, but simply not history. John and Mark wrote perfectly acceptable gospels without birth narratives. Paul never refers to it and manages possibly the high point of early church Christology in Philippians 2 without talking about it, or apparently needing to. Jesus himself never refers to it; only to his human family. Joseph disappears from view before Jesus is an adult.

What if, aware of the nature of Jesus the healer/teacher and his ability, it was felt appropriate to give him the sort of exceptional birth or call that heroes of the faith traditionally had? Think Isaac's miraculous arrival, Moses escape, Samuel's childhood temple ministry and you'll get the idea. What if tales grew up as a mark of respect? Needing to treat him as divine someone invented his beginning. Luke adds shepherds (Jesus for the poor and stoopid); Matthew wise men (Jesus for the rich and educated).

Given the unique nature of his birth it is amazing that only one story from age 2-30 survives, Jesus at 12 in the temple. Didn't anyone think to chronicle the life of this amazing and special child? Why on earth not? What if that was because at that time he was not yet special, hadn't yet heard God's call and was busy learning not to cut the ends of his fingers off with carpentry tools?

Does that make his eventual sacrifice any less? Here, finally is a son of God (as we are all called) whose obedience is exemplary. 'This is my son', says a voice from the heavens. What if that is what we all could be, if we just went the way he pointed rather than wondering where he came from.

What if?

Christmas Letter

2011-12-17T17:44:00.001Z

Christmas letter 2011 now published here. Don't all rush at once but it does contain between none and four good jokes.

A right and wrong speech

2011-12-16T18:30:00.000Z

I commend you all to read the Prime Minister's speech to theologians and church leaders on the occasion of the commemoration of the 400th anniversary of the King James' Bible.

Read the text here.

It contains many fine words and quotes but I can't help leaving with the feeling that I have read a speech that was both completely right and completely wrong at the same time. Fully God and fully man?

I think it was this quote, nailing his colours firmly to the fence, that set the tone:

I am a committed – but I have to say vaguely practising – Church of England Christian, who will stand up for the values and principles of my faith…

Maybe he has simply picked up the vibe of the average Englander today - committed but vague. In what other walk of life could you claim a firm commitment allied with vague practice?

He goes on to praise, rightly, the exquisite language of the King James Bible yet finds within it an authority for everything including a constitutional monarchy, something which, on my reading of the Bible, earned God's disapproval and strong discouragement.

There are pot shots at modern translations, failing to understand that these are to help people access God's word as living and active rather than literature and archive.

He insists that the Bible sets our moral framework but wrestles with his own theological issues. There is an inherent danger in seeing the Bible as a finishing point rather than an agreed starting point. It doesn't give us the last word on divorce, sex, abortion or warfare. Indeed the Bible's own theology of these things develops through its pages.

There is a certain amount of cherry-picking:

Indeed, as Margaret Thatcher once said, 'We are a nation whose ideals are founded on the Bible.'

Responsibility, hard work, charity, compassion, humility, self-sacrifice, love…

…pride in working for the common good and honouring the social obligations we have to one another, to our families and our communities…

These are all good but why no mention of prayer, receiving the Holy Spirit, putting Jesus first, witnessing - these are every bit as much the Bible's values yet I suspect slightly less popular.

I rejoice that we have a Prime Minister who will, unlike Tony Blair 'do God'. I hope he understands that there will be some who feel it is rude not to do God properly.

A Bit of Dissonance

2011-12-15T14:59:00.000Z

My head has been in a bit of a spin today. It started with a vague feeling of I don't-know-whatness at Morning Prayer and it hasn't gone away. I'm not ill or stressed; it's just that there's a thought trying to fly.

It may come from having had my notions of order challenged and being invited to embrace the conflict (see Monday's post and comments) but I seem to be more than usually aware of the bigness of God and the smallness of humanity.

It is also a time where many are discussing the future of the church, especially the Church of England, in the light of the TV programme Rev (tonight 9.00 p.m) and also a few articles being Facebooked and Twittered (some quite old) about the decline in the church. Others are renewing their spleen-venting over disestablishment and literal understandings of the Bible. I'm with them on both counts so they may as well save their spleens when in my company.

In Psalm 76 this morning we were invited to ponder a view of God that was enormous:

You are resplendent with light,
more majestic than mountains rich with game.
Valiant men lie plundered,
they sleep their last sleep;
not one of the warriors
can lift his hands.
At your rebuke, O God of Jacob,
both horse and chariot lie still.

This human view of God's majesty was that creatures were attractive because they were food and defeat in battle was all part of God's mighty, all-encompassing command and control. When he says die, you die.

Some say that they dislike the bloodthirsty God of the Old Testament. In fact it is the people who were bloodthirsty. The psalmist suggests that God is bigger than all this.

The Old Testament contains a lot of history and, as we all know, history is often written by the winners.

Then we started the Book of Zephaniah. He prophesied during the reign of Josiah. Josiah is always lauded as a good king who preserved Israel's sacred religious traditions and instituted reforms on that basis. He listened to the prophets and obeyed them. But the words of Zephaniah fly in the face of that. Here's a guy who proclaims death and judgement while things are improving and being renewed. It looks as if Josiah and he may have shared a great-grandfather (King Hezekiah) so that may be how Zephaniah managed to avoid becoming lion food. He is not mentioned in the parallel accounts in the historical books of 2 Kings or 2 Chronicles.

Then we had that little passage in Matthew where Jesus gets his and Peter's temple tax paid by doing a magic trick with a fish. It smacks of folk-tale to me, an invention of Matthew to keep Jews paying their taxes after the fall of Jerusalem.

We (there were four of us at Morning Prayer) often have a short discussion about the readings but today we sat in silence and I enjoyed my own discussion.

During a pastoral prayer meeting a little later I pondered on the simple faith of some of those prayers. At one point I jotted this down, addressed to those who rubbish the church:

The God you mock, the one who intervenes from time to time, occasionally doing our will, is too small. The God I think I recognise, and know, always intervenes and my prayers are a way of seeing my unique issues in an eternal context.

This thought, not quite fully-formed enough to write down but what-the-hell, wants to suggest that in getting to grasp the fullness of the wonder of God, literalism can be a real hindrance. Sometimes it doesn't mean quite what it appears to says. That doesn't mean it ain't truth. We may need to search harder to find what is. None of these passages, experiences or events will reveal its meaning alone.

Weather

2011-12-13T09:15:00.001Z

Why do you talk about the weather so much in England? I've been asked this a few times, mainly by continental friends or west-coast Yanks.

If it was 20c every day with rain falling in April only we'd probably not discuss it. But this morning we had overnight heavy wind followed by torrential rain, hail, lightning and thunder. Now it is looking slightly sunny.

We are blessed with not living in a part of the world where the weather makes a serious annual attempt to take your life, but also where it is not so predictable as to be dull.

I think it is part of what makes us adaptable and creative as a people. And on that note I'm going to get some writing and cooking done.

Pepper Pots and OCD

2011-12-12T17:54:00.002Z

As you know the world divides into two types of people - those who divide the world into two types of people and those who don't . That's not original but originality is forgetting where you found something (Jonny Baker) and I've forgotten.

So you will either love and understand what I am about to tell you or wonder what all the fuss is about.

First, by way of background, you need to know that I suffer from a bit of OCD. Not seriously. I can cope with an odd number of cans in the fridge and visit untidy houses. I walk on the cracks. But I close doors and switch off lights (not a bad habit so far) and (extreme coming up) can't sleep with a dressing table drawer or wardrobe door slightly open.

Today I was meeting with some other ministers from around the Diocese (Hi David, Kate, Tina, Diana and Roger). We are the ones who have specific job descriptions including missional stuff - fresh expressions, pioneering etc.

Over coffee after our lunch together Tina rolled up a piece of paper that had previously contained chocolate and placed it under the pepper pot so said pot now leaned at an alarming angle. And left it there. She continued to talk as if nothing important had happened and when I suggested that I wondered why she had done this she said 'Because I am a pioneer.' When I further indicated that I found this made me uneasy she did nothing.

Now. Who else is bothered by the idea of sitting at a table looking at a deliberately destabilised pepper pot? Only me? OK. I'll shut up now.

Dr Theo

2011-12-08T10:29:00.001Z

This morning we welcome Dr Theo Claptrap to the site to answer your questions on matters liturgical, biblical and ecclesiastical. Welcome Dr Theo and let's take a question:

Dr Theo, big fan, love your work, been following you for years...

Yes, yes get on with it.

Well I can't help noticing that today is the Festival of the Conception of the Blessed Virgin Mary.

Indeed it is. Your question?

Well what is that for?

Ah well, glad you asked me that. The idea is that for the Son of God to be completely pure and free from the stain of human sinfulness his human mother must also have been and so on. It used to be called the Feast of the Immaculate Conception. It is celebrated on the 8th December, nine months before the Nativity of Mary which is celebrated on the 8th September. I guess they assumed a full-term pregnancy. Started about the fifth century CE.

Used to?

I think someone realised we'd have to be celebrating her grandparents, great-grandparents and so on. We'd disappear, immaculately up our own genealogy. Anyway if Christ is fully human as well as fully divine it is important that there was nothing special about his mother.

Nothing special?

Exactly. Ordinary, obedient human lass, probably a teenager.

Ordinary lass?

Exactly. The last thing she'd have wanted was a feast. Let alone one to celebrate her parents getting it on. Have you read the Magnificat?

Blimey won't that upset a few of our catholic friends?

Might do. Accuracy more important than friendship I reckon. You don't help your friends by agreeing with them when they're talking boll... Anyway, must dash, those Orange Lodge doors won't open themselves. Cheerio.

Dr Claptrap will be back to answer more of your questions after his meeting. Acknowledgement to the late Miles Kington who did this sort of thing from time to time.

Why is there something rather than nothing?

2011-12-07T08:14:00.001Z

This is the title of a short book by Leszek Kolakowski which I have been reading very slowly over the last year or two. It is published, in translation, by Penguin.

In it he concentrates on 30 great philosophers and one idea they introduced or discussed which is, in some respects, still current and still being talked about. It is not (as he categorically says in the introduction) a history of philosophy and he warns any student attempting to treat it as such that they will fail their exams.

It is, especially for those of us who enjoy the exercise of thinking for its own sake, a great challenge. Fantastic to strip down life's great questions to such as:

Can we know anything?
How can we achieve certainty?
Do we need the church?
What is human existence?

It is equally interesting to read a summary of what the world's great thinkers (the list is the author's choice) have made of these questions. At the end of each chapter Kolakowski lists further questions and issues that are raised by the particular philosopher's views.

I loved it. And in passing I note how many of the world's great thinkers have given no answers whatsoever but merely raised questions that others have then gone on to think about in detail. Friends and colleagues will be aware of my dislike of answers and love of questions. Shoulders of giants and all that.

Cost me £8.99 through the Guardian book club.

Signs 2

2011-12-05T14:09:00.001Z

Observing the strap-lines on large lorries has become a bit of a hobby of late (see previous post). What would once have been a Fowler chilled van is now:

temperature controlled distribution

I felt confident that Eddie Stobart's fleet, kings of truckers with girl names on the front of their rigs, would claim no such nonsense but was devastatingly disappointed to pass one of their vehicles on Saturday. It proudly proclaimed:

trans store logistics

No-one is a delivery driver any more.

Soon window cleaners vans will be offering:

on-site transparent wall cleansing solutions

And the Fire Brigade:

domestic and industrial combustion calming

I used to be a vicar. Now I wonder if people would rather have:

eternity logistics and solutions

Well it's a thought.

Signs

2011-12-01T18:04:00.001Z

If you were to put three words on the side of your van what would they be? I know you haven't got a van, stupid. Take an imaginary trip.

Thing is, I bet that after a bit of work you'd have only those words remaining that were really worth keeping. They'd say a lot about you. Even the words you jettisoned to get, say, six down to four, would be interesting.

I passed a van on the M4 today. In fact I passed three vans from the same company, Downton. Of the three words on the side of their van, a strap line which you will find on their web site, I contend that two are unnecessary:

Real Distribution Solutions

One way to test a slogan is to see if the opposite is clearly stupid. If it is you don't need to say it. So:

Fake Distribution Solutions
Surreal Distribution Solutions
No Distribution Solutions

And as for 'solutions':

Downton - Really Solving Nothing
Downton - Not a Real Clue
Downton - No Real Answers for 55 Years

I rest my case.

I bet some creative types were involved in finalising the slogan. I used to do this for a living. I wish I was back in that line of work sometimes. People will pay good money for that level of stupidity.

May I suggest:

Downton Distribution

Alliterative, simple and memorable.

There will be no charge.

Unless, of course, it was only one van and it kept jumping beyond me at light speed. Now that would be a solution.

Don't Start Anything

2011-12-01T09:07:00.001Z

I work best in the worlds of vision and delivery. I am not so hot at strategy. If vision is about destination - where are we going? - then strategy is about the steps to take to get there.

It follows that vision is more about leadership than management and vice-versa for strategy.

After two and a half days of retreat, and now a free day before returning to Advent earth, I have a single thought pinned down. I am fed up of starting things. I've spent all my ministry starting things. I've set things up. I've seen things that were not being done and I've made them happen. I have begun.

But I have lost the knack of being able to infect people with the passion for whatever it is I start and thus hand on the started thing to someone who will run with it, polish it and make it great, perhaps using me as occasional consultant if things get stuck.

I am currently doing too many things I started. And this makes me spend too much time keeping those things going when I really want/ought to be starting something else. I hear a Michael Jackson song on constant repetition. And yes I do '...wanna be starting something.'

The danger, with people such as me, is that we walk away from the things we have started because of the call of things as yet unbegun. I am determined not to succumb to this but it helps me understand the niggly level of frustration I currently experience all the time. Keep too many live things in a bag and one day the fight will break out.

It is good for me to take on one or two jobs in any post which require discipline and stickability. I do this in a couple of ways. It reminds me that everyone has to do a certain amount of the less pleasant jobs.

I've started two new things this term but I didn't stop anything in order to do them. I merely postponed. Both have gone well first time and are heading towards that difficult second album in a term when all the other things I've started here, bar two (which stopped because they didn't work), need to carry on.

If you hear me talk about pioneering anything for the next few months tell me to stop starting. At the moment, like a dodgy set of jump leads, I'm not starting anything.

On Criticism

2011-11-27T08:06:00.001Z

I found myself, though no fault of my own, watching Strictly and Xfactor last night. It was horrid.

One observation. The panels of judges in both programmes know something about the subject they are critiquing. Why, in both cases, are they so hated if they offer suggestions for improvement? Most of the acts nod in acknowledgement. Why do the audience boo?

When Craig Revel Horwood enjoys a routine but suggests some correction of posture or hand positioning he is booed. When Gary Barlow applauds a singer but points out pitching issues in verse 1 (I like 'pitching issues' for what we would call 'out of tune') the audience goes mad at him.

We seem to want our developing stars to be fully formed and unmentored. Even the babies. How do you learn without comments?

I suppose the good cop bad cop routine and falling-out-judges makes for good tele but I can't help feeling that giving the impression that every piece of advice that is not encouraging is somehow wrong is, well, wrong.

We used to run a summer camp and each day would review the performance of everyone at everything the day before. One sign of growth as a Christian leader was the ability to sit in the meeting and hear feedback on your talk/music/game-leading/cooking. Those who listened and learned were the best; those who got all defensive were in for a life of under-development. It was also good to learn to give feedback, positive and negative.

Criticism is good. Anyway the TV was all too loud for me. Went to bed with quiet music. Getting old.

Change

2011-11-25T17:59:00.001Z

Three weeks ago, in a large meeting, I made the assertion that all change arises from dissatisfaction of some sort. I gave some examples. In the specific context of wondering if we might change the way we do our small group work at church, my colleagues and I shared that we were dissatisfied with our church's outreach. We wanted to have a conversation (and we have a had a really good one with about 120 people involved) about whether or not our home groups might be the solution to this problem.

In the midst of this I wondered if anyone could think of any examples of change that did not arise from dissatisfaction and I tried to prove them wrong. This too was a fascinating discussion. Most of the examples suggested were too easy to knock down and after a while I stopped bothering, but I did feel the original assertion wasn't tight enough. Some extracts:

Maybe better to say all growth begins with change.

Of course all change begins with dissatisfaction. If we were satisfied why would we change? Why make a mountain out of a truism?

So I posed another question. I said, 'No-one has yet given me an example of change that does not arise out of dissatisfaction - but the dissatisfaction may be about the future.'

I received a number of replies concerning things such as adolescence or plants changing with the seasons. In terms of philosophical posturing they are correct. My axiom is not a catch all for the non-human world. Adolescence is, of course, not a change but a development, a distinction list on many of my contributors. To some extent this is true of the plant world too but I was not happy yet.

Some more comments:

I fear that you're using 'dissatisfaction' in a catch-all way...my hope that 'maybe if I change this/that I'll see an improvement' might indicate dissatisfaction or it might illustrate anticipation or hope.

Lost you on this Steve, your definition of dissatisfaction and change needed.

Sales Training 101: You cannot sell to anyone who is in a satisfied state. They have no needs and so you cannot supply anything to meet them. The only people to whom you can sell are those who have a problem they need solving (70%) and those who see an opportunity they wish to grasp (30%.) I would argue that both those states show a dissatisfaction with the status quo. What's true for selling and buying is true for the rest of life.

I've never been convinced by the 'needs' based humanistic approach to human activity. I know it's popular in some areas of management/marketing, but my own research suggests that people's activity is generally far to complex to fit with one decision making mode. ...you've created dissatisfaction as an umbrella term and can now quite satisfactorily fit any eventuality under it.

Can I ask if using your dissatisfaction motif helps you to act in ways that brings about the change you aspire to? If it does, don't worry about being wrong, instigating and supporting healthy change is surely the goal?

So let's say a few things in response to this. Firstly a big yah boo sucks to anyone who says social networking lacks depth. Over 40 contributions to this discussion and many of a very high quality. Secondly, can we recall for a moment that I only posed a couple of questions. I haven't arrived anywhere yet (I'm about to though).

Thirdly, and finally, I think I would now want to say that no-one will invest time and energy in making a change to their pattern of behaviour unless there is some element of dissatisfaction with the current pattern. This way we exclude those who have unwanted change forced upon them - it was their bosses/leaders who were dissatisfied and made them change. If we want to change together we need to agree on the dissatisfaction we are moving away from. Thus meetings and conversations.

I think this can be summarised as 'All human planned change arises out of dissatisfaction.'

OMG It's Happened

2011-11-25T09:54:00.001Z

Today is Friday and my regular day free from clerical duties. I finished work last night at 7.30 p.m. for an evening out with Mrs WWA so this morning feels relaxed. I started, as I often do, by knocking off a short piece of writing. Earning £50 extra before breakfast is good (but I breakfast late these days).

Anyway, and this is the point, as I was finishing my article my mind wandered to breakfast and of what it might consist. This is why I am not a good proof reader and why I put written pieces down for a few hours before submitting them.

I recalled that there were left over rolls and tomatoes from a lunch yesterday and that I owned some bacon.

As I walked into the kitchen my inner dialogue went, 'And lo, it came to pass that he discovered bacon in the fridge and...' Stop.

Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop.

Stop.

Nativity speak has begun. I never asked for that to happen. Why? It is November. I am not putting a tea towel on my head for at least a fortnight.

Haiku

2011-11-22T07:25:00.001Z

Apologies but, inspired by Harry Baker, I have had an outbreak of appalling haiku puns. Here they are so far:

The mountain ruler
Removed by people power
It was a high coup

Remember Miss Stark?
Prince Andrew entered the room
And he said 'Hi Koo.'

Many people wait
I arrive to join them all
And so I queue

Noise like a pigeon
I can do that sound quite well
It is when I coo

I wanted a walk

She suggested a long one

But I said 'Hike, oo.'

Latter day prophet

I think you are quite bonkers

You David Icke you

Geordie snooker star

Gives reasons for his talent

That is why aye cue

Show em yer warts

2011-11-21T13:29:00.001Z

Lovely time round the lunch table yesterday with some nice people:

My Curate colleague, her husband and little boy
A couple from Trendlewood church we have got to know
A couple we met at the pub (he) and then when I married them
A couple we met through Alpha then a baptism contact and their little girl

But I think this may be odd behaviour for round here, with some notable exceptions.

A few year's ago a Christian course was published called 'Friendship Evangelism.' I recall remarking at the time that if the only bunch of people who had a specific brief to build relationships with outsiders had to have a course on how to make friends wasn't that a bit of an indictment about how well we were doing after 2,000 years? Maybe it was because I had lived in the Midlands or the north all my life, a dining room table constantly surrounded by people and a kitchen permanently inhabited by someone who had dropped by for tea and a chat.

A fellow church employee, who I supervised, asked me a few years ago, 'Steve, are we friends?' I found it a difficult question. Firstly, if he had to ask, clearly there was some doubt in his mind. Secondly because I operate without a category 'friend' in my head most of the time. I meet people, I behave in a friendly way towards them, I build a relationship. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but until they screw me over I continue to trust them and want to get the relationship better.

I have three or four really close friends and a nice family. Thereafter I don't use the friend word very much.

Regardless of what you mean by 'friend' it has been much harder than I ever thought here in the south-west to gently encourage this attitude of building relationships with outsiders. It simply doesn't come naturally to most people. No-one is unfriendly, but few are lowering the drawbridge.

Is it fear? A couple once told me they would invite me round for a meal when the ensuite bathroom was finished. What a terrible, all-consuming fear it is that people might see us in a state of less than perfection, even in a room there was no chance of my ever going in.

If you want to make friends you have to show everyone your blemishes, make your mistakes in public. When people come round for a meal here sometimes they get asked to peel stuff, stir pans or serve the drinks. They certainly see the last minute cooking panic since the kitchen and dining room are open plan. Clearing up is often a communal event. No-one minds.

I have heard someone describe having guests for a meal as 'outside my comfort zone.' I have been in lounges I think no one else has ever been in. It doesn't even have to be a meal you cooked. 'Let's share a take-away.'

People of Nailsea. Next time you meet the neighbour in the drive why not say 'Would you and Mr(s) neighbour like to come round for a drink and a chat next (name)day?'

For goodness sake, what's the worst that could happen? And I have seen those Dr Pepper ads.

Dream dream dream

2011-11-16T14:12:00.001Z

I may have shared my recurring dream before. The backdrop varies but the situation is always that I need to be somewhere or do something and things are conspiring to distract me, block my way, or hinder progress.

I have almost reached the point where I can break into my own dream, without waking up, and announce to myself that I am dreaming.

It doesn't take a genius to work out that this tells me I am frustrated by the slow progress of my work.

Parish life isn't hard like log-chopping is, or tedious like a table-top manufacturing job might be, but it is all about the technique of lining things up in the same direction so the whole thing will move. It can be incredibly slow.

Today I am frustrated that something has gone wrong only I can fix and it is taking my mind off important things.

We all want the gospel to be effective but we stay where we are because we can't agree precisely how. Clinging mud; can't walk forwards.

Thank you I feel a bit better now.

Trapped between two silences

2011-11-12T10:25:00.001Z

If it came to it, and you knew you were going to be remembered in public, would you want a minute's silence or a minute's applause?

Our culture is changing.

I did a quick Bible study on silence this week, in preparation for a thought for the day at a men's breakfast this morning.

Obviously there is no noise in a vacuum, so when the earth was without form and void it would have been quiet. Genesis 1 tells us God spoke into this silence. There then follows a hubbub, a cacophony as the created order finds its place and seemingly, in the process, loses its God.

Only with the onset of the ministry of prophets do we have the poignant thought that God is not in the earthquake, wind or fire (where his people might have expected him after a few skirmishes on mountains) but a still small voice. When the earth was formless he could speak quietly. Why raise his volume now?

In the wisdom tradition Job's best comfort comes from friends sitting in silence; when they speak they screw up. Proverbs tell us that a fool seems wise when he remains silent. Ecclesiastes tells us there is a time to be silent and a time to speak.

Isaiah foretold that the Messiah would be silent like a sheep before its shearers. Six centuries later, before the High Priest, Mark tells us the Messiah stood and said nothing.

After the resurrection the noise is of proclamation with accompanying special effect tongues of fire and wind. Now there can be shouting. The rest of the New Testament is all talk.

At the end of all things Revelation tells us only of silence in heaven for half an hour.

On Armistice Day and Remembrance Sunday we fall silent for two minutes in memory of those who fell silent for ever. We are currently the people in between, a poppy for comfort.

You may applaud me when I'm gone if you wish. But silence reminds the senders of the sent. It takes one to make a noise; it takes everyone to make a silence.

A Questioning Post

2011-11-11T09:04:00.001Z

A colleague of mine used to say that discussion groups after a talk were a good opportunity for people to 'burp'. He drew the analogy of a baby being fed - after a while the infant needs to be winded and then some more food can be inserted into the gap. Without being winded a small child will feel full before it is.

It said a lot about that teaching style. The speaker has the food and people need feeding; almost force-feeding.

I have always been a great enthusiast for teaching in a dialogue. I am not anti-input. I do have some resources, training and skills which equip me with stuff to pass on. But the assumption about dialogue (Greek: dia logos = through word(s)) is that I will be as helped by the listener as the listener by me.

In passing let us note that the wonderful thing about a Twitter #hashtag at the beginning of a broadcast is that it then becomes a dialogue rather than a monologue.

For me a crucial skill in promoting dialogue is to allow others to speak once a question has been asked. I heard the brilliant John Sergeant at a literary festival a few years back. When he took questions he took all the questions then spoke a bit more on the most common themes raised.

So if a speaker says 'Any questions' I think they should resist at all costs the desire to answer the first one. Doing that suggests that the first questioner has captured the mood of the meeting. Often the answer to the first question is so long it precludes further questions being asked. Major fail. Answering questions is over-rated anyway. Telling people their question is helpful and allowing it to inform the rest of the gathering is better, much better, than feeling it is just a need to burp which can be dealt with and more input inserted.

Last night Declan, the RC Bishop of Clifton told a group of us that the ecumenical community has today begun to use the expression 'receptive ecumenism'; we approach other Christian communities as gifted people who might inform us. It is a dreadful expression - one of my major problems with the ecumenical community is that its language, in striving for common ground, becomes more and more uncommon - but a good point is hiding in it.

Let us live with each other's questions, appreciate each other's giftedness and accept that every time we answer a question too quickly we betray our agenda that these are no more than burps.

Mick's Metaphor of the Week

2011-11-10T14:39:00.001Z

BBC Radio 4 Today programme this morning at about 8.50 a.m.

Greece has already gone down the plughole and Italy is on its way down and somehow the countries on the rim are being prised away by the gravitational pull.

That's a hell of a plughole. Some sort of white hole perhaps, although who is doing the prising in such a difficult environment?

Push push shove shove

2011-11-10T08:30:00.003Z

When people start a blog post 'This is not a complaint about anyone' they are rarely believed. But this is not a complaint about anyone. It's a conversation starter.

There was a joke told to me about thirty years ago, and I guess it had been around for a while before that. It concerned a vicar.

Every morning he was seen walking out of the house and along to the railway line. He stood on the bridge looking along the track. As the first train of the day passed beneath the bridge he did a little leap of joy and danced his way back to his house.

More on that later.

In one of the parishes in which I work there is a usual Sunday attendance of over 300 in four congregations across two worship centres. The electoral role is about 320 or so and those we might call our members (over 16 years of age) number about 340 or 350.

For some months now we have been talking about, and planning, how to improve outreach. The parish might be blessed with large numbers but this is more through residence than successful evangelism. Massive growth in numbers in the 1980s and 1990s corresponded with people moving into the area as it was allowed to grow under the North Somerset Development Plan.

As part of this we have suspended our small groups this month. We are holding a series of congregational meetings to discuss whether those small groups might be the key place to get this improvement to happen. We have invited all church members to these meetings, not just those currently in small groups (you might call them home groups but ours don't all meet in homes).

The first two meetings (one daytime, one evening) have been good. I am sure I should be grateful that a total of 110 people have wrestled with our opening session and asked great questions. There is clearly an underlying nervousness about change, something my personality type finds it very hard to understand but I try and listen. The opening few comments suggest that it is the support and care people value about their small groups and this has corresponded to a reluctance, over the years, to grow and multiply.

The end point of the conversation, for our small groups, has not been identified. You can't have a conversation if the end point is fixed. The end point of the conversation for the church has to be fixed. If we don't get real about outreach then we will do what a near neighbour church has done - grow old and be in danger of death.

Here's the conversation I want to start. If 110 out of 340 people came that is about a third. However radical the decision making of this holy bunch of the committed and concerned how should we communicate it to the two thirds who couldn't make it, didn't see the point or weren't bothered?

Those of us who try to lead the church are not trying to force anything through, despite the feelings of some more outspoken members. We are genuinely trying to have a conversation about improving evangelism and see our small groups as being at the heart of this.

But I fear that we will have a hard job on our hands convincing the two-thirds that any decision or policy change was genuinely arrived at through prayer and dialogue. As the 'nam vet says, 'You wouldn't know man; you weren't there.' Maybe that is simply what I should expect life to be like.

Asked why he got so excited about the train the vicar in the joke (remember the joke) said, 'I get excited because it is fantastic to see something in this town that moves without being pushed.'

If I ever show signs of becoming a train-spotter please take me out the back and have a harsh word with blunt sticks. But I understand that vicar.

Good morning.

The Greatest Gift?

2011-11-07T18:43:00.002Z

Those of us unfortunate enough to recall Ken Dodd's pop career will be able to humm a little ditty called Happiness. 'The greatest gift that I possess...' went the chorus which, annoyingly, I can still sing in full.

I've been pondering happiness recently. A survey, picked up by the Daily Mail but which started its life as the research from a drinks company, listed the top thirty things people said made them happy. These included eating cake, finding £10 in an old pair of jeans and having a quiet moment to yourself.

Since it is fairly clear that two cakes are better than one, £20 is preferable to £10 and two quiet moments are better than a singleton it is apparent that these results are to do with the transitory hit of well-being one can get from a specific event.

In other words, happiness is temporary and short-lived..

Last week Jeanette Winterson read from her biography Why be happy when you could be normal. The comedian Jon Richardson called his recent tour Don't happy be worry.

I was preaching yesterday on the passage in 2 Kings 4 where Elisha revives the dead son of a well-to-do Shunammite woman. In this passage the Hebrew word shalom appears a lot.

It is a fascinating passage, linguistically. Asked if there is anything that can be done to repay her hospitality the woman responds 'I have a home amongst my people.'

It seems to me that she is asked how she can be made happier and she responds that she is content. A home amongst her people is all she needs.

Probing further it turns out she is childless. Elisha prophesies that she will have a son within a year. She accuses him of being mean, 'Don't mislead your servant...'

But she does have a son, who dies after a few years. She heads off to the mountain where Elisha hangs out. Asked if everything is OK (shalom) she replies 'Everything is shalom.' Elisha sees through this and she gives him a right telling-off for taking her contentedness and making her happy only to make her unhappy again.

There is a happy ending. Great prophets don't become so by accident and Elisha does the resurrection thing on the lad.

But you see in a Hebrew sense everything was shalom even before that. The woman was back in exactly the same state she had been in when asked if she needed anything.

You wouldn't be able to imagine chocolate making you happy if you had never tasted chocolate. Once you have had some you need more.

Childlessness is hard to bear but having that ended and then returned to you so dramatically is appalling.

To finish where I began there was a ghastly song we used to sing on houseparties in the 1970s:

If you want joy, real joy, wonderful joy
Let Jesus come into your heart

He won't make you happy but he may make you content. I still hate the song but I do understand it. Do not seek happiness; seek joy and contentedness. If you have a home amongst your people that is enough.

WWJD

2011-11-03T08:19:00.001Z

Back in the 1980s David Jenkins, as Bishop of Durham, managed to become the story. It always dismays Christians when they want to point people to Jesus and find the press pointing at them. The problem was that the press got wind of the idea that his views on the main features of Christianity were not conventional (they were, but they were academically nuanced). Eventually something he said 'the resurrection is not just a conjuring trick with bones - it's far more than that' began to circulate as the exact opposite 'Bishop says resurrection a conjuring trick with bones.'

I heard the original interview on the radio and know what he said.

But for a few months, in the pubs, clubs, homes and workplaces where I wandered it was easy to talk about Jesus. You started with 'What do you think about the Bishop of Durham' and then moved on to 'So what do you think happened at the resurrection?' Easy. Good chats ensued.

As a naive ordinand/student in 1982 or so I suggested to a group in the Common Room that 'What Would Jesus Do' was a good way to approach an ethical issue. A lecturer, who spent a lot of time in the Junior Common Room because we had a snooker table and the SCR didn't, overheard and said, 'I don't think it's a valid question.'

Since one of the reasons we spent time in the JCR was to get away from theological discussions with lecturers for a while, and given that he had placed his view diametrically opposite to mine rather than letting me tease out dissatisfaction with my own position (a much better way to argue), I didn't rise to the bait.

He was right though.

Five years ago, when being interviewed for the post I currently hold, my final question was, 'What one word would five people who know you well use to describe you?' I answered that the thing I appreciated about most of my friends was that their response in such circumstances would be unexpected. I then listed the sort of words I hoped my friends would use if I bought them enough beer and promised them more.

What Would Jesus Do was being debated on the radio yesterday. I heard nobody say that having read the gospels they would not like to hazard a guess at how this most unpredictable of holy men might respond. For every 'Let the one without sin cast the first stone' there is a 'Let's go somewhere else.' For each compassionate gut reaction, 'They were like sheep without a shepherd' there is a 'Wipe the dust from your feet if you are not welcomed.'

So outside St Paul's Cathedral my Jesus, my saviour, the one like whom there is no-one (English O level, grade 3, thanks Mr Parry) would just as likely tear down the tents, ask how many people there had any credit cards, admonish the cathedral staff for not welcoming the poor or ignore the crowds and go down the pub and speak to some others because that was why he came.

So WWJD? What Would Jesus Drink?

Obviously WWJD. White Wine or Jack Daniel's.

Good morning.

Autumn Colours

2011-11-01T10:57:00.002Z

We are now in the period of the year where my dear partner leaves for work before dawn and returns after dark Monday to Friday. Can you get three for two on serotonin anywhere? I'm not particularly an outdoor junkie - why walk in the sun when you can see pictures of it on screen? - but I do understand that from time to time it is good for me.

What a privilege to be able to gaze out of my window by day on to a garden of gorgeous reds, browns and yellowy greens - and also to live with someone who can, with minimal effort, transform our conservatory so it mirrors those colours. Local guests who wish to dress to match the furniture (they do exist, really) need to move into the season of reds and purples.

Psychology News

2011-11-01T10:46:00.000Z

Fascinating article in the Observer on Sunday in which Daniel Kahneman argues, in an extract from his book Thinking, Fast and Slow, that the evidence clearly shows that successful traders in the money market cannot demonstrate that their success is down to anything but luck. In other words the luckiest ones are seen as the best and faith continues to be put in them on that basis.

He established his theories by trying to assess how well soldiers would do in leadership based on observing their performances in a series of tests. It turned out that there was virtually no correlation between someone taking charge of a log-dragging contest and actual leadership skills in the theatres of war or management. But no-one believed him and continued to run the sort of obstacle courses admired by management consultants the world over.

He explains how, once we see an illusion of skill - a cognitive illusion - we find it very hard to respond in any other way than as if it really is skill. Many of those we revere as successful have simply thrown several sixes in a row. Whilst there may be some advantage in being friends with someone who has just done that we need to be aware that runs of luck are runs of luck and no more.

So, who do you think is good at their job? And are they, or are they just lucky?

Answers

2011-10-28T08:15:00.000+01:00

In response to my enthusiasm for The Interrogative Mood: A Novel? (see yesterday's post) some have suggested that a book consisting entirely of answers might be better than a book of questions. I wonder?

Forty seven. Second shelf down on the right. I prefer tigers. With a baseball bat please. Along the A370 and then turn left in Congresbury. Yellow. Seven thirty for seven forty five. Only if you are sure the cat is really dead. Next Tuesday. £7.49. No. No. No. Yes. Possibly. No. Definitely not. I've told you once. You cannot believe how offended I am by that question. Me. Simon Cowell. It needs more oregano. Drummer Man by Tonight. You get used to them after about a fortnight. In a car accident when I was fourteen. Pulp Fiction. It's an Acer. The Surreal McCoy but I haven't seen the second half of the week yet. Flight Lieutenant. He burnt it. Under the patio. A bit like chicken.

Maybe the fun is the questions that are begged. But a whole book of it?

Questions

2011-10-27T18:03:00.000+01:00

Can you imagine a book, the length of a novel, where every sentence is a question? Would you find such a book a curiosity or an annoyance? Have you heard of Padgett Powell's book The Interrogative Mood - A Novel?? Do those two question marks in a row, one in italics and one not, annoy you, or does the first, as part of the title, indicate that this may not be a novel quite like any other you have read? How do you respond to the review on the jacket saying, 'This book will sear the unlucky volumes shelved on either side of it'? Does it alter your opinion at all that this was said by Jonathan Safran Foer? Do you have an opinion about yellow trousers? Does it depend on age? Or gender? Or something else? Might this review give you a taste of what the book is like better than actually reviewing it? Or am I messing with you? Do you find it interesting that there was no title on the original jacket front so Waterstone's added a sticker which did not have the title on either? Does lemonade do it for you? Which limb (either arm or either leg) would you lose if you had to lose one? Will you let me know?

Young and Old

2011-10-26T11:13:00.000+01:00

From time to time I am reminded that people don't take you as they find you, accept you at face value, assume the best of you etc.

For instance, 'Would you like a cup of coffee?' Simple question and all but the most indecisive, only those completely unaware of their own personal current hierarchy of needs, will fail to answer yes or no to this one. You reckon?

I probably offer more teas and coffees to people than most other folk in Nailsea. Just a guess but if you want to rise to the challenge please do so.

I do get quite a lot of straight answers but also very many responses of, 'Are you having one?'

Why do we have this desire to put people to no trouble when trouble has been clearly offered? If it was going to be a hardship to offer you a coffee I would have said so, although the only circumstances in which I can imagine this would be a lack of time, ingredients or recipe.

By and large it is older people than me who give the 'It depends' response. Younger people give a straight answer.

'Would you like to stay for supper?'
'Is that OK?'
'Of course it's OK; I wouldn't have invited you if it wasn't OK.'

Now occasionally young people respond politely and hesitantly to this invitation but, and here is a response no older person would ever give, sometimes they say, 'What are we having?' Are they wondering if there may be a better meal elsewhere possibly?

I have a new regular guest who, on being offered a cold or hot drink said 'Both.' Guess the age. Insiders can't play.

Stuff to Read

2011-10-20T14:00:00.001+01:00

Three interesting 'easy' novels from my recent holiday:

David Sedaris
Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk
Pretty animal stories of the fireside, woodland and pasture, partially anthropomorphised. Like your comedy black? This is goth. It's a jungle out there.

Robert Harris
The Fear Index
A very bad day in the life of the inventor of an algorithmic hedge fund programme. Currencies crash, governments change, he gets burgled and followed and everyone is very suspicious as to why he keeps making money as everyone else loses. In fact he can't seem to stop himself getting richer.

Chris Brookmyre
Where The Bodies Are Buried
I'm always disappointed when a book is described as 'a new departure' in the author's writing. If it wasn't broke etc. Why did Christopher Brookmyre become Chris? So let's all relax. It's not quite so black but is it dark. The plot is believable - this is a new departure. It's not very funny and has fewer social and political comments along the way. It is very good.

Bit Ordinary

2011-10-20T13:41:00.000+01:00

When the English cricket team scraped a draw last series using a series of legal, but frustrating, time-wasting techniques, Aussie captain Ricky Ponting described the behaviour as 'a bit ordinary.' It wasn't meant to mean 'conventional'. Amongst giants he expected outstanding morals; idiot. But clearly the word 'ordinary' had overtones of sub-standard. Aussie meaning, or changing meaning?

For those who have the privilege of saying Morning and Evening Prayer each day we are now in a seasonless void called 'ordinary time'. The church's year begins at Advent and then proceeds through Christmas, Epiphany, Lent, Easter, Pentecost and Trinity. This takes roughly the six months, December to May.

Thereafter the weeks 'after Trinity', although including the non-standard and untimed festivals of summer holidays, harvest and the whole death and remembrance fortnight, can seem pretty ordinary in the Ponting sense.

I sense my fellow participants shuffling impatiently waiting for the time to become special again. I don't. I like ordinary.

'In those days the word of the Lord was rare, there were not many visions,' the Bible tells us as a preamble to the mighty impact of Samuel.

Enjoy the ordinary; it's good not to turn the tables over every week. Even so come Lord Jesus, I will say, but not just yet.

A Tale of Abject Stupidity

2011-10-18T09:28:00.001+01:00

Abject is normally reserved as a descriptor of poverty. Stick with me. I know my regular reader appreciates the occasional confessional nature of this blog so hang around. I have tunnelled under my usual low standards.

My friends (I don't know what else to call them) at Lloyds Bank sent me two new pieces of plastic to replace the ones in my wallet fast reaching their call security date. A green one and a grey one.

I only ever use two pieces of plastic - a green one (Mastercard) and a grey one (debit card). I removed the old ones from my wallet and cut them neatly into four as the new ones bore a sticker saying they could be used immediately.

I was peeling off the stickers and placing the new cards in my wallet when I noticed some new writing on the grey one. A shiver wandered very very slowly down my spine, through my groin and out of my pocket.

The second card was a replacement for the airmiles duo credit card which my friends decided to send me a few years ago for no reason and I never use.

I examined the four pieces of my debit card in the bin. It doesn't run out until the end of next year. Doesn't? Didn't, it has now.

I had cut up my valid debit card and had no replacement. This is premiership stupidity. Stupidity max with extra fries.

As I contemplated having to PHONE THE BANK the shiver re-entered my pocket and walked back up my spine digging its claws in.

I have a new debit card coming. It will take a few days. That, staff colleagues, is why it is not my round today or tomorrow. And yes, the lovely bank account handler did suggest I upgraded my platinum account to a more expensive one during the conversation.

I cut up the wrong card. The shame.

Thank you. I feel better now. Usual fee?

I cut up the wrong card.

Doh.

Abject doh.

Best/Worst

2011-10-13T06:00:00.000+01:00

Mybest/worst book

Intimes when I need cheering up, or to take a few moments to enjoy aclever sentence or two I reach for some DouglasAdams.As a Christian Minister there is never a Biblefar away and I’ll probably get in trouble with the Hezbollah wingof the Church of England for not mentioning this first. Illywhackerby PeterCareywas enjoyable and still entertains me nearly twenty years after Ifirst read it. It is a narrative told by a 139 year old liar calledHerbert who uses a giant pet-shop as a metaphor for the growth ofAustralia.

Ihave read so many bad books. I try not to finish them but usuallyplough on. DanBrown’s, Angels and Demonswas particularly awful. There is no reason to read more than one DanBrownbook. I have read two.

Mybest/worst evening out

WestBromwich Albionhave given me some particularly horrific evenings out over the yearsso I now confine my live football watching to lower league.I normally find something good in any evening out. In May 1972 I sawTheFaces, at the height of their powers, in a field in Lincolnshire, top of aremarkable festival bill. It was my 17^thbirthday. That was good. Mrs WWA may now sue.

Mybest/worst CD/record

Whilstall this depends on mood I come back again and again to the eponymousdebut album of a band called Sunshine.Nobody else I have ever met has heard of them. Currently I play Radiohead alot. DrummerManby Tonightis my favourite single of all time. My family gave me a DesO’Connor albumas a joke once. I didn’t listen to it so can’t tell you if it wasas bad as LimpBizkit’s, Chocolate Starfish and the Hot-dog Flavoured Water.It would have to go some.

Mybest/worst holiday

Twoweeks in Canterbury and Hastings in about 1990 with 10 and 8 year oldsons when it rained every day. Every day. Any holiday now is my bestone, most recently 14 days in Gozo last June. Don’t discoverGozo. Leave it unspoiled for me and Mrs WWA.

Mybest/worst job

I’venever had a job I hated apart from going to school, which I loathed.Tasks yes. Jobs no. I hate DIY and will pay ridiculous sums of moneyto avoid it. I love so much which I can gratefully call work –listening to people, entertaining, writing, making music, preaching.What you got?

Anyone else want to join in this exercise?

Leaving Church

2011-10-10T04:00:00.000+01:00

‘AChurchless Faith’ by Alan Jamieson is about people who kepttheir faith but left church. A member of a congregation gave it tome. Perhaps I should take the hint.

It’sheavy, but worth the struggle. The author interviewed people whocould no longer cope with their local evangelical church. The commontheme of the replies – many of the people were in leadershippositions in churches – was that they had questions which seemed astep too far.

Theinterviewees raised issues, some of which go right to the crux ofChristian faith. Others are peripheral. Questions such as:

Can wereally trust the Bible?

Can you bea Christian without being certain of your faith?

Whydo our churches apparently have so many rules?

Why somuch emphasis on sexual behaviour?

Is thechurch leader always right?

Thereare many more. The questioners felt that the very act of asking wasdeemed to be so divisive that they had to, eventually, take theirqueries outside the church community, painful as that was.

Once,a man called Job suffered greatly. Read about him in the Bible. He’sgot a whole book named after him. For thirty seven chapters hequestions God about his pain, whilst listening to the dodgy advice ofhuman comforters. Eventually he shuts up and listens. God asks somequestions back. Job can’t answer. He ends up saying, ‘I havetalked about things that are far beyond my understanding.’ Helearnt through questioning.

Asa Christian Minister I hear loads of questions; about church, aboutGod, about everything. I have some myself. I feel my church is areasonably safe place to raise them. The answers may cause someone toleave but asking should not. All churches should have signs over thedoor, even if only imaginary, saying ‘Questioners always welcome.’

Willow Creek GLS

2011-10-08T22:41:00.000+01:00

It is the sign of an utterly modern conference that a Twitter hashtag, in this case #wcagls will be advertised to delegates. In fact at the Willow Creek Association Global Leadership Summit in Bristol, from which I have just returned, it was on every page of the delegate material.

Now I love this bold move which invites us to engage with each other and the material being taught. The disappointment, for me, is that by and large all delegates around the world did was lift quotes from speakers and tweet them. Taking stuff out of context, some said 'that the thoughts may be shared wider,' is all well and good, but where was the critical engagement?

When a speaker based his whole message around a possible, or at least dubious, translation of 2 Kings 3:16. When an interviewee told us he learned most of what he learned about leadership aged 14-18. When being slightly over-challenged was promoted as the key to creativity. No-one batted an eyelid.

I think Willow like critical friends. I fear they have produced puppys.

Don't get me wrong. There were many fine take-aways from the conference and I scored several of the speakers 5/5 on my feedback form. Seth Godin, Henry Cloud, Cory Booker, John Dickson and Patrick Lencioni were all amazing. Do Willow know many women? The hosting by e@b (Bristol Elim) was great and the pre-conference admin good.

I'd just like to see a slightly edgier discussion. All those leaders and barely a tweetfight. Sad.

Why I Love My Wife Number 456

2011-10-08T07:02:00.001+01:00

It is 6.45 a.m. on Saturday morning and the alarm goes off. We are heading for a conference, but as I am doing a men's meeting first I say:

WWA: I'll have coffee but not breakfast.

MrsW: I wish we had a maid called Mabel

(beat)

not all the time, just sometimes.

WWA: If we had a maid I'd rather she was called Monique.

MrsW: How did you know what Mabel looked like?

WWA: I just did.

MrsW: I'm going downstairs now. I'll get the coffee.

Beer, Bible and Big Pizza

2011-10-06T14:32:00.000+01:00

Yesterday I was a bit depressed. The men's event I had been planning and looking forward to for some time had not produced much interest. I offered a prayer that, in order to give us reasonable numbers and atmosphere, one man might book in every two hours for the next thirty hours.

We are on target for this. So far we have 23 plus a panel of 4 making 27 coming tonight. It will feel good with this number. Thanks be to God.

I'm off to buy beer and order pizza. Tough job this.

FAQs
Did you put the word 'big' in front of pizza merely to improve the alliteration?

Yes.

Will the pizzas actually be big?

Yes

Do I have to drink beer if I don't like it?

No. I will get some juice and wine.

Is it too late to say I am coming?

No.

Will I have to talk about the Bible?

No, a panel of three men will be my guests to do this? Audience comments will be welcome but not compulsory.

Joke

2011-10-04T11:03:00.006+01:00

Great joke from the Grove Books mailing:

There was an engineer, a manager, and a programmer driving down a steep mountain road. The brakes failed and the car careened down the road out of control. Half way down the driver managed to stop the car by running it against the embankment narrowly avoiding careening off the cliff. They all got out, shaken by their narrow escape from death, but otherwise unharmed.

The manager said, 'To fix this problem we need to organize a committee, have meetings, and through the process of exchanging ideas, develop a solution.'

The engineer said, 'No that would take too long, besides that method never worked before. I have my trusty pen knife here and will take apart the brake system, isolate the problem and correct it.'

The programmer said, 'I think you're both wrong! I think we should all push the car back up the hill and see if it happens again.'

Acknowledged to www.mikeysfunnies.com

A Nomadic People

2011-10-04T10:38:00.000+01:00

I write a regular piece for Urban Saints as part of their excellent Energize material for youth and children's groups. If you haven't come across it I do commend it to you.

The particular thing I do is to produce a study based on an item in the news. Although you will need to subscribe to get the full benefit, you can browse the site. Recent studies have been on riots, Libya, Egypt, that Royal wedding and the Japanese tsunami. Topical stuff.

Last week they asked me to do some thinking on the Dale Farm eviction. That is the slightly surreal story of the travellers who want to stay where they are.

I do not want to steal my own thunder but just to say that the biblical material was fascinating. What right have any of us got, if we place our citizenship in heaven, to say we have arrived anywhere? We are all nomads. We have been ever since Abram heard God tell him to go somewhere else. We are a pilgrim people descended from a pilgrim people. So although from time to time some settle down and stay put others continue on missionary journeys.

Some members of the Dale Farm community have probably broken some laws, or done somethings without formal permission. Basildon Council doesn't exactly come out of the affair smelling of roses though.

The fewer travellers there are the rarer the land, in a densely populated country, on which they might make their temporary home. There's the rub.

Bit Weary

2011-09-30T08:48:00.000+01:00

Sometimes, in order to encourage myself, I read back in the blog twelve months. It is interesting to see what I was concerned about then.

Bit of a shock today. I discover I used to be interesting and able to write. Thirteen weeks since the last break and eighteen months since working in a full team have sapped a bit of oomph. See. Oomph sapping is not a metaphor anyone who could write would come up with. Or even up with which they would not come if you care about not ending a sentence with a preposition. Although you can end a sentence with the word preposition. Isn't English fun?

I also found the first few chapters of a novel I started. I'd forgotten the plot. It's really quite good.

I feel encouraged that it is only weariness that keeps me from those heights (certainly it isn't modesty) so a few days off in a few days time will be restorative.

Beer, Bible and Big Pizza

2011-09-27T08:08:00.000+01:00

Holy Trinity and Trendlewood church members may have spotted the 'Notice of the Week' last Sunday. To try and make sure we don't underline everything we choose one or two notices of the 'if-you-only-read-one variety.

On Thursday October 6th at 8.00 p.m. in the Trinity Centre, Nailsea I will be hosting an interesting men's evening.

Beer, Bible and Big Pizza will be four guys, in front of an audience, talking about the Bible. What are their favourite bits? Worst bits? Bits they'd tear out if given half a chance?

My guests will be:

Richard Calverley, a former missionary, a current occupational therapist and a soon-to-be vicar's husband.
Andrew Slade, a senior civil servant who has been a private secretary, projects director for the south-west development agency and big-wig at Defra.
Paul Roberts, the only other reverend on the panel, who is a theologian and lecturer on liturgy and worship at Trinity College, Bristol.

It should be entertaining, a bit like a TV chat show, and non-threatening. All the audience members will be required to do will be to listen, drink beer and eat pizza, although there will be a chance for questions and comments.

I've set up a Facebook page for the event. Let me know if you are coming and how many guests you will be bringing so I don't end up having to eat a ridiculous amount of pizza and drink hundreds of pints of beer myself. Then again.

Music List - Uncatalogued Stuff

2011-09-26T08:31:00.000+01:00

In searching down the crannies of the storage system (OK behind the cupboard) I discovered the following. I'm only posting this to really annoy those of you who thought music lists were finished:

Classic fm - Music from the Masters 2011 Vol 2 (2011)
Noel Gallagher - The Dreams We Have as Children (Live at the Royal Albert Hall) (2009)
Q - REM Jukebox (2008)
Q - New to Q (15 of the Most Exciting New Acts on the Planet) (2010)
Q - Born in the USA (2010)
The Best of the Secret Policeman's Ball Part 2 (2009)

Desert Island Discs

2011-09-23T08:15:00.001+01:00

Thanks for bearing with me over the last couple of months. There have been posts on other matters if you peeked in the gaps but to summarise, and based on the rules that it needs to be eight short songs that could be played almost in full on the radio, my current desert island discs are:

Tonight
Drummer Man (1977)

REM
Imitation of Life (1991)

Los Lobos
Peace (1992)

The Four of Us
Sensual Thing (1994)

Toad the Wet Sprockett
Fall Down (1994)

World Party
Always (1997)

Shins
Pink Bullets (2003)

Atlum Schema
Codes (2005)

REM RIP

2011-09-23T08:06:00.001+01:00

At the request of @steveclarke_ , and following the anouncement of the end of the world as we know it (gerrit?), my top five REM tracks:

All the way to Reno
Imitation of life
Losing my religion
Driver 8
Living well is the best revenge

And my three favourite albums:

Fables of the Reconstruction
Reveal
Accelerate

This was hard; tomorrow the list could be different. The band have given me pleasure over 25 years and I saw them live twice, separated by 20 years. Rock City, Nottingham in about 1987. Michael Stipe so down in the mix and almost singing with his back to the audience. He wore a masonic apron. As an encore they played Wheels (cha cha).

20 years later at Cardiff Arena they played two songs from most of their many albums and lots of Accelerate.

Thanks guys. It's been a blast.

Music List - Albums Z

2011-09-22T10:12:00.002+01:00

So here we go. Final instalment. Except tomorrow I will list my eight desert island discs and then, at some point in the future, will do my DVDs. You may then ask to borrow them, so it will be good for you. This is a good way to eat a slug.

Then watch out for a sidebar item saying 'New music.'

I notice that the only post I illustrated with a picture (albums - M) got ten times more hits than all the rest.

A guy call Syd used to bring Hot Rats to every youth group meeting in 1971/2 so it got ingrained and I had to buy it eventually. Apostrophe(') is my favourite Zappa album.

Zero 7 were another band that emerged from my older son's bedroom. It was a surprise that something so mellow could be born of a drum n' bass DJ and has upped the household romance quotient.

FrankZappa 1969 (V) Hot Rats

1972(CD) Waka / Jawaka

1974(V) Apostrophe (')

FrankZappa and the Mothers of Invention

1975(CD) One Size Fits All

Zero7 2001 (CD) Simple Things

2004(CD) When It Falls

2006(CD) The Garden

2009(CD) Yeah Ghost

EarlZinger 2004 (CD) Speaker Stack Commandments

Music List - Albums Y

2011-09-21T08:03:00.002+01:00

In the prog rock camp at school we divided into Yes fans and Genesis fans. With forty years of reflection I now suggest that Yes were the better musicians but Peter Gabriel's Genesis the better lyricists. Both were a bit Lower Sixth (a Roger Waters' expression). Mrs WWA and I made the decision to begin a relationship whilst listening to Genesis' Cinema Show. If I ever get hold of permission to play a church organ Rick Wakeman's work on Parallels will be my gold standard.

Yazoo 1983(V) You and Me Both

Yeasayer 2007(CD) All Hour Cymbals

2010(CD) Odd Blood

Yes 1971(V) The Yes Album

1971(V) Fragile

1975(V) Yesterdays

1977(V) Going for the One

NeilYoung 1989 (V) Freedom

TheYoung Knives 2006 (CD) Voices of Animals and Men

TomYorke 2006 (CD) The Eraser

Music List - Albums X

2011-09-20T08:04:00.001+01:00

Apart from the dilemma as to which letter to file J-Xaverre under there is little to say about this. XTC - good song writers, especially lyricists. X-Press 2 was bought for the David Byrne influence and the single Lazy.

J-Xaverre 2003(CD) Three Acid Stars

X-Press2 2002 (CD) Muzikizum

XTC 1980(V) Black Sea

TheXX 2009 (CD) The XX

Music List - Albums W

2011-09-19T11:32:00.000+01:00

The existence of the Marti Webb album tells me what a dull, middle-class family we were destined to become before St John's College got hold of us. Witness (from Wigan) were another band I discovered through late night drives home accompanied by John Peel. Stevie Winwood has been good company all my life and World Party's Always is a desert island disc.

TheWades 1992 (CD) A Touch of Heaven

RickWakeman 1975 (V) The Myths and Legends of King Arthur and the Knightsof the Round Table

TheWarner Bros. Music Show 1975 (V) (Sampler)

Warp20 (Recreated) 2009 (CD)

TheWaterboys 1988 (V) Fisherman's Blues

MartiWebb 1979 (V) Tell Me on a Sunday

PaulWeller 1994 (CD) Wild Wood

1995(CD) Stanley Road

2010(CD) Wake Up the Nation

BillWells Trio 2002 (CD) Also in White

Whale 1998(CD) All Disco Dance Must End in Broken Bones

TheWhite Stripes 2001 (CD) De Stijl

2001(CD) White Blood Cells

TheWho 1971 (CD) Who's Next

1975(V) The Who by Numbers

RobbieWilliams 1997 (CD) Life Through a Lens

1998(CD) I've Been Expecting You

2001(CD) Sing When Youre Winning

MarkWilliamson Band 1980 (V) Get the Drift?

1984(V) Missing in Action

AmyWinehouse 2006 (CD) Back to Black

SteveWinwood 1977 (V) Steve Winwood

1980(V) Arc of a Diver

1982(V) Talking Back to the Night

1986(V) Back in the High Life

WishboneAsh 1971 (V) Pilgrimage

1972(V&CD) Argus

Witness 1999(CD) Before the Calm

2001(CD) Under a Sun

StevieWonder 1972 (V) Talking Book

1976(V) Songs in the Key of Life

TheWonder Stuff 1989 (V) Hup

WorldParty 1990 (CD) Goodbye Jumbo

1993(Tape) Bang

1997(CD) Egyptology

2000(CD) Dumbing Up

Music List - Albums V

2011-09-18T13:49:00.001+01:00

Not much to say about the Vs. Stick with Vampire Weekend beyond your first reaction is my advice. I now love it.

VampireWeekend 2007 (CD) Vampire Weekend

SuzanneVega 1987 (V) Solitude Standing

TheVerve 1997 (CD) Urban Hymns

2008(CD) Forth

VoomVoom 2006 (CD) Peng Peng

Conversation Stoppers

2011-09-17T09:55:00.000+01:00

If you tell a story it is acceptable to speak without interruption for a few minutes. As long as your company bought in to this rule. If you are simply chatting, what is the longest amount of time for which you should narrate?

I heard of a friend a while back who was talking too much without breathing and failed to notice that the line at the other end of the phone was dead. The person he thought he was speaking to called his wife on her mobile to tell her to tell Mr Long-winded that he had lost his audience. Several minutes ago.

It is different in professional situations where I often sit listening to people for a long time helping them to work out their own views by speaking. I like doing that.

But those who talk so much they don't notice no-one is listening any more. Annoying. Or worse; don't care as long as corporeal presence is still going on. Dreadful.

I know some people who need to tell the last story. Who talk to you in the car when you have arrived at their house. Who segue one story into another without breaking for you to comment (I hate this).

Please tell me when I am being boring. And try to notice when you are.

That will be twenty guineas. Good morning.

Music List - Albums U

2011-09-17T09:44:00.002+01:00

U2 have made some great tunes (never seen them live) but I don't often get the urge to play a U2 album. If I had to keep one artist beginning with U it would be the wonderful Japan meets France meets jazz meets lounge meets I-don't-know-what that is the United Future Organisation. Try this. Great video. They're another band that came tunefully out of my older son's bedroom and my love for them overtook his. I'd also rate Underworld ahead of U2. I don't own Uriah Heap Live but I have a drumstick from the actual gig it was recorded at and you can hear me, Alan and Keith shouting in a quiet moment. So proud. Bought The Magician's Birthday the next day.

U2 1980(V) Boy

1980(V) October

1983(V) War

1984(V) The Unforgettable Fire

1987(V) The Joshua Tree

1988(V) Rattle and Hum

1991(V) Achtung Baby

1993(Tape) Zooropa

2000(CD) All That You Can't Leave Behind

2004(CD) How To Dismantle an Atom Bomb

2009(CD) No Line on the Horizon

Ultravox 1980(V) Vienna

Underworld 1998(CD) Second Toughest in the Infants

1998(CD) Dubnobasswithmyheadman

1999(Tape) Beaucoup Fish

2002(CD) A Hundred Days Off

2007(CD) Oblivion with Bells

UnitedFuture Organisation 1993 (CD) United Future Organisation

1995(CD) Third Perspective

1999(CD) Bon Voyage

2001(CD) V

UnitedState of Ambience 1994 (CD)

UriahHeep 1972 (V) The Magician's Birthday

Music List - Albums T

2011-09-16T08:22:00.002+01:00

Seeing gigs at pantomime or variety show (Freddie and the Dreamers, Bachelors, Sounds Incorporated, Searchers, Herman's Hermits, Dave Clark Five) with your parents doesn't really count, for me, as 'first gig.' The first proper gig was Ten Years After at Birmingham Town Hall in the autumn of 1971 supported by Keith Christmas and an early version of Supertramp. The first reverb-heavy 'One of these days boy...' and a guitar chord like someone dropping scaffolding and I was hooked. TYA were not the greatest band in the world but they were my first love and still uncover something primal when I hear them. Alvin Lee, Rick Lee, Leo Lyons and Chick Churchill - I thank you.

2 many DJs is another candidate for the great intros competition but you may be offended as it segues into 'F**k the day away.' Sorry. Still love it. Groove trumps offence any day.

Fall Down by Toad the Wet Sprocket is a desert island choice. Here it is. If you're at a PC and not tapping your hands on your desk within 30 seconds your arms are too short.

Much pleasure given to me over the years by Talking Heads' Remain in Light side 1 (younger people may not know what side 1 is - tough) and Traffic On the Road especially Sometimes I feel So Uninspired.

Other goodies well worth investigating. Some mighty fine things begin with T. And yes, I do own two Take That albums with pride.

2Many DJs 2002 (CD) Part 2

10CC 1974(V) Sheet Music

22-20s 2004(CD) 22-20s

1975(V) The Original Soundtrack

1975(V) How Dare You

TakeThat 2006 (CD) Beautiful World

2010(CD) Progress

TalkingHeads 1977 (V) Talking Heads 1977

1978(V) More Stories About Buildings & Food

1979(V) Fear of Music

1980(V) Remain in Light

1982(V) The Name of This Band is Talking Heads

1983(V) Speaking in Tongues

1985(V) Little Creatures

1986(V) True Stories

1988(V) Naked

TalkTalk 1982 (V) The Party's Over

TameImpala 2010 (CD) Innerspeaker

TangerineDream 1974 (CD) Phaedra

TangleEye 2004 (CD) Alan Lomax's Southern Journey Remixed

Taste 1970(CD) On the Boards

JamesTaylor 1971 (CD) Mud Slide Slim

TheJames Taylor Quartet 1998 (CD) Blow Up - a JTQ Collection

SteveTaylor 1985 (V) On the Fritz

Tearsfor Fears 1983 (V) The Hurting

1985(V) Songs from the Big Chair

Television 1977(V) Marquee Moon

TenYears After 1967 (V&CD) Ten Years After

1968(V) Undead

1969(V) Stonedhenge

1969(V) Ssssh

1970(Tape) Cricklewood Green

1970(V&CD) Watt

1971(V) A Space in Time

1972(V) Rock & Roll Music to the World

1973(CD) Recorded Live

1974(V) Positive Vibrations

1989(V) About Time

Texas 1989(V) Southside

ThatPetrol Emotion 1987 (CD) Babble

1988(V) End of the Millennium Psychosis Blues

1990(V) Chemicrazy

ThinLizzy 1976 (V) Johnny the Fox

ThirteenSenses 2004 (CD) The Invitation

2007(CD) Contact

ThompsonTwins 1983 (V) Quick Step and Side Kick

1984(V) Into the Gap

TraceyThorn 2007 (CD) Out of the Woods

Timbuk3 1986 (V) Greetings from Timbuk 3

Tinariwen 2003(CD) Amassakoul

TinyDancers 2007 (CD) Free School Milk

TiredPony 2010 (CD) The Place We Ran From

Toadthe Wet Sprocket 1994 (CD) Dulcinea

PeterTosh 1978 (CD) Bush Doctor

Towerof Power 1974 (CD) Urban Renewal

1974(CD) Back to Oakland

1987(V) Power

PeteTownshend 1985 (V) White City

Traffic 1968(V) Mr Fantasy

1970(CD) John Barleycorn Must Die

1971(V) The Low Spark of High Heeled Boys

1973(V) Shoot Out at the Fantasy Factory

1973(CD) On the Road

1994(CD) Far From Home

Travis 1999(CD) The Man Who

ATribe Called Quest 1993 (CD) Midnight Marauders

1996(CD) Beats, Rhymes and Life

Truebrit 1996(CD) 40 Essential Indie Hits

K.T.Tunstall 2010(CD) Tiger Suit

TheTwang 2007 (CD) Love It When I Feel Like This

TwoTribes 1992 (V) Two Tribes

Music List - Albums S

2011-09-15T08:14:00.001+01:00

The letter S gives a reasonable impression of the whole gorgeous and messy cross-section of my taste. From the Screaming Blue Messiahs to Sancte Deus calling at Dusty and Sting. Pink Bullets by the Shins is a current desert island disc; they are great song-writers and fine lyricists:

'Over the ramparts you tossed
The scent of your skin and some foreign flowers
Tied to a brick,'

Hear it here.

Mrs W brought all the Simon and Garfunkel records into our relationship but they were knackered from being played non-stop in a teenage girl's bedroom in the 60s and sit there useless with valuable sleeves.

The two minute intro to Ebeneezer Goode on Boss Drum is a genius piece of pop-building. Just when you think they can't lift it any more they add something else. Listen here. Clever to get massive club crowds singing '...eezer Goode' rather than 'Es are good.' Naughty naughty very naughty. Got banned.

RaphaelSaadiq 2009 (CD) The Way I See It

Sade 1984(Tape) Diamond Life

1865(Tape) Promise

SancteDeus 2000 (CD) A Journey Through the Renaissance

Santagold 2008(CD) Santagold

Santana 1970(V&CD) Abraxas

1974(CD) Santana's Greatest Hits

SawDoctors 1991 (V) If This is Rock and Roll, I Want My Old Job Back

NitinSawhney 2001 (CD) Prophesy

2003(CD) Human

2005(CD) Philtre

LeoSayer 1973 (V) Silverbird

BozScaggs 1997 (CD) Come On Home

ScissorSisters 2004 (CD) Scissor Sisters

JillScott 2000 (CD) Who Is Jill Scott? Words and Sounds Vol. 1

ShirleyScott 2001 (CD) Talkin' Verve

ScreamingBlue Messiahs 1989 (V) Totally Religious

SeasickSteve 2009 (CD) Man From Another Time

BobSeger and the Silver Bullet Band

1978(V) Stranger in Town

SexPistols 1977 (V) Never mind the Bollocks here's the...

ShakespearsSister 1992 (V) Hormonally Yours

TheShamen 1992 (Tape) Boss Drum

Shine 1995(CD) 20 Brilliant Indie Hits

TheShins 2001 (CD) Oh, Inverted World

2003(CD) Chutes Too Narrow

2007(CD) Wincing the Night Away

PaulSimon 1986 (V) Graceland

1990(V) The Rhythm of the Saints

Simonand Garfunkel 1966 (V) Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme

1966(V) Sounds of Silence

1968(V) Bookends

1970(V) Bridge Over Troubled Water

NinaSimone 1971 (CD) Here Comes the Sun

SimpleMinds 1985 (V) Once Upon a Time

1989(V) Street Fighting Years

SimplyRed 1989 (Tape) A New Flame

1995(CD) Life

1996(CD) Greatest Hits

RoniSize 2002 (CD) Touching Down

Six.by Seven 2000 (CD) 04

Sky 1980(V) Sky 2

Smaller 1996(CD) Badly, Badly

Smithereens 1991(V) Blow Up

MarstonSmith 2002 (CD) I Cellist

Smiths 1985(Tape) Meat is Murder

1987(Tape) Strangeways Here We Come

SnowPatrol 2004 (CD) Final Straw

SoundsAlbum 1977 (V) Good for Nothing

SoundsAlbum II 1977 (V) Sounds Like a Good Album To Us

SoundsAlbum III 1978 (V) Can't Start Dancing

SoundsAlbum IV 1979 (V) The Heavy Metal Album

SoundsAlbum VII 1981 (V) Into the Arena

SoundsIncorporated 1964 (V) Sounds Incorporated

SoupDragons 1992 (V) Hotwired

SouthsideJohny and the Asbury Jukes

1978(V) Hearts of Stone

SpandauBallet 1983 (V) True

1984(V) Parade

Sparks 1972(V) A Woofer in Tweeter's Clothing

Spiritualised 1992(CD) Lazer Guided Melodies

1997(CD) Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Floating in Space

2001(CD) Let It Come Down

2003(CD) Amazing Grace

SplitLevel 1991 (CD) View of a World

Spoon 2007(CD) Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga

DustySpringfield 1969 (CD) Dusty in Memphis

Squeeze 1978(CD) U.K. Squeeze

Starsailor 2001(CD) Love Is Here

StatusQuo 1972 (V) Piledriver

StealersWheel 1973 (Tape) Ferguslie Park

SteelyDan 1972 (CD) Can't Buy a Thrill

1974(V) Pretzel Logic

2000(CD) Two Against Nature

GwenStefani 2004 (CD) Love. Angel. Music. Baby

StereoMCs 1992 (CD) Connected

CatStevens 1972 (V) Catch Bull at Four

1975(V) Greatest Hits

StGermain 2000 (CD) Tourist

Sting 1985(V) The Dream of the Blue Turtles

1986(V) Bring on the Night

1987(V) Nothing Like the Sun

1993(Tape) Ten Summoners Tales

1996(CD) Mercury Falling

1999(CD) Brand New Day

StoneRoses 1989 (V) Stone Roses

1992(CD) Turns Into Stone 1994 (CD) Second Coming

Strawbs 1972(V) Grave New World

TheStreets 2002 (CD) Original Pirate Material

2004(CD) A Grand Don't Come for Free

TheStrokes 2001 (CD) Is This It

2003(CD) Room on Fire

StyleCouncil 1984 (V) CaféBleu

Suede 1996(CD) Coming Up

Sugar 1992(V) Copper Blue

1994(CD) File Under Easy Listening

Summerhill 1990(V) West of Here

AndySummers 1998 (CD) The Last Dance of Mr X

Sundays 1990(V&Tape)

Reading,Writing and Arithmetic

Sunshine 1972(V) Sunshine

Supertramp 1974(V) Crime of the Century

1975(V) Crisis? What Crisis?

Supremes 1974(V) Greatest Hits

EsbjornSvensson Trio 2000 (CD) Good Morning Susie Soho

TheSwimming Pool Qs 2003 (CD) Royal Academy of Reality

My Music - Albums R

2011-09-14T08:31:00.000+01:00

Some substantial letters towards the end of the alphabet and, as we reach R, Radiohead make their entry. I reckon they have been the most creative, risk-taking band of the last twenty years, almost never producing an album that I like first time through but only their debut I rarely play these days. Gerry Rafferty's album has some good tracks other than Baker Street. Jess Roden, first encountered as the vocalist with the Butts Band supporting Roxy Music at Birmingham Odeon, is one of the finest white soul r&b voices of recent history. Dan Reed fused rock, electronica, hip-hop and great songs. One of my finest gigs of all time was him at Newcastle Riverside (a now defunct, members-only venue) in about 1991. REM have always been good value. Saw them twice, twenty years apart. Roni Size made me realise there was more to drum n' bass than I thought (thanks DJ 'Jamin), Roots Manuva made hip hop acceptable to the white masses and the title track off Power in the Darkness was a desert island disc for many years with its wonderful anti-establishment rant about what sort of freedom the Tories wanted at the time. It was a liberal manifesto. Hear it here. The rant starts at 2:14. N word warning. It was 1978. Reverend and the Makers Heavyweight Champion of the World is an outstanding song which dwarfs the album.

Radiohead 1993(CD) Pablo Honey

1994(CD) The Bends

1997(CD) OK Computer

2000(CD) Kid A

2001(CD) Amnesia

2003(CD) Hail to the Thief

2007(CD) In Rainbows

GerryRafferty 1977 (V) City to City

RobertRandolph & the Family Band

2003(CD) Unclassified

TheRapture 2003 (CD) Echoes

RedHot Chili Peppers 2002 (CD) By the Way

DanReed Network 1988 (V) Dan Reed Network

1989(V) Slam

1991(V) The Heat

LouReed 1972 (V) Transformer

REM 1983(V) Murmur

1985(V) Fables of the / Reconstruction of the

1986(V) Lifes Rich Pageant

1987(V) Document

1988(V) Green

1991(V) Out of Time

1994(Tape) Monster

1996(CD) New Adventures in Hi-Fi

1998(CD) Up

2001(CD) Reveal

2003(CD) In Time 1988-2003

2004(CD) Around the Sun

2008(CD) Accelerate

Reverendand the Makers 2007 (CD) The State of Things

RoniSize Reprazent 1997 (CD) New Forms

RiloKiley 2007 (CD) Under the Blacklight

RiverCity People 1989 (V) Say Something Good

Roachford 1988(V) Roachford

TomRobinson Band 1978 (V) Power in the Darkness

JessRoden 1974 (V) Jess Roden

1977(V) The Player Not the Game

JessRoden Band 1976 (V) Play It Dirty ... Play It Class

1976(V) Keep Your Hat On

1977(V) Blowin'

RollingStones 1971 (CD) Sticky Fingers

1974(V) It's Only Rock n' Roll

1984(V) Rewind

1989(V) Steel Wheels

RootsManuva 2001 (CD) Run Come Save Me

2005(CD) Awfully Deep

2006(CD) Alternately Deep

2008(CD) Slime and Reason

RootsManuva meets Wrongtom 2010 (CD) Duppy Writer

DonRoss 2006 (CD) Live in Your Head

RoxyMusic 1972 (V) Roxy Music

1973(V) For Your Pleasure

1973(V) Stranded

1974(V) Country Life

1975(V) Siren

1979(V) Manifesto

Röyksopp 2001(CD) Melody A.M.

LeonRussell 1970 (CD) Leon Russell

Music List - Albums Q

2011-09-13T07:46:00.001+01:00

Here is a nice list of all the CDs that have been free with Q over the last twenty years or so. Sheer Heart Attack is the best Queen album (IMHO).

Q 1992(CD) Now That's What I Call Free

1992(CD) Sweet Sixteen

1993(CD) Free CD

1994(Tape) Freewheelin'

1994(Tape) Living in the Eighties

1994(CD) Really Free

1995(CD) World of Noise

1995(CD) Assorted

1996(CD) Mmmmm...

1996(CD) Decade. The Very Best of 86-96

1997(CD) Hello. The Best New Music of 1997

1997(CD) Splash

1997(CD) The Best of the Best 97

1997(CD)

1998(CD) Summer Festivals 98

1998(CD) Best

1999(CD) Here Comes the Sun

1999(CD) The Best Tracks from the Best Albums of 99

2000(CD) Essential Chill Out

2001(CD) Essential Chill Out

2001(CD) Best of 2001

2002(CD) Rise and Shine

2002(CD) The Best Tracks from the Best Albums of 2002

2003(CD) Rocks

2003(CD) Best of 2003

2004(CD) Essential Glastonbury

2004(CD) Ultimate Song Writers

2004(CD) Best of 2004

2005(CD) Rule Britannia!

2005(CD) Glastonbury Jukebox

2005(CD) Best of 2005 Vol. 1

2005(CD) Lennon Covered

2006(CD) Best of 86-06

2006(CD) The Eighties

2006(CD) Mellow Gold

2006(CD) Take It Easy

2007(CD) (Best of) 2007

2007(CD) Live from Glastonbury

Queen 1974(V) Sheer Heart Attack

Queensof the Stone Age 2002 (CD) Songs for the Deaf

Q-Tip 2008CD) The Renaissance

Forgiveness

2011-09-12T08:12:00.000+01:00

I preached three times on forgiveness yesterday. Interesting how the lectionary theme reached that on the tenth anniversary of September 11th 2001. I mainly focused on the gospel but was niggled by the Old Testament reading - the great passage at the end of Joseph's life where he forgives his brothers.

Or does he?

You see the sentiment in Genesis 50 is of restoration of relationship. He reassures his brothers. He promises to provide for them and their children. He does forgiveness in every possible way. But will you find the expression, 'I forgive you' on his lips? You will not. Maybe because he knew that the message that his recently-deceased father had asked for this was bogus (that is the suggestion). Maybe because he thinks forgiveness is God's task not his (a reading of v19). Maybe because he holds something back, and who would blame him?

Fact is that saying forgiveness without doing it is useless. And this comes out in the Gospel where Peter asks how many times he should forgive his brother. He gets this daft parable response about a servant who is let off an amount equivalent to 1,000 times the annual revenue of Samaria, Judea and then some and then throttles a guy who owes him a miserly amount. Both debtors end up in jail, one being tortured. Whoever thought torturing someone was more likely to make them find money they hadn't got?

Forgivenes is in God's gift. Not holding grudges against those who have sinned against us is in ours.

The ancient proverb, pre-Bible, that we don't do to others what we don't want them to do to us is made entirely positve by Jesus in Matthew 7 and Luke 6. He probably had some Leviticus on his mind when he said it. Do do to others what you do want them to do to you.

Do it. Have a good week.

My Music - Albums P

2011-09-12T07:50:00.000+01:00

Pantha du Prince is a recently acquired ambientish chill-out album. Gorgeous. The Psychonauts were previous holders of the precious task of chilling me out when necessary. Ann Peebles made one of the great singles in I Can't Stand the Rain (desert island subs bench) but I hadn't realised how good her back catalogue was until someone bought me this compilation. Saw Tom Petty in about 1977 at Birmingham Town Hall. I don't think he ever made as good an album as his debut and he made the brave decision to open his set with Lunar (a really slow number but very atmospheric). The hairs still stand up etc. Police albums mighty fine, especially Ghost in the Machine. Chuck Prophet was the guitarist with the excellent Green on Red. Brilliant country rock technique. This is a good letter. I want to play them all.

Panthadu Prince 2010 (CD) Black Noise

PattyHurst Shifter 2006 (CD) Too Quiet on the Losing End

AnnPeebles 2006 (CD) The Best of

ThePeople 2004 (CD) Number 1 Hits

PerceeP 2007 (CD) Perseverance

TomPetty and the Heartbreakers 1976 (V) Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

1978(CD) You're Gonna Get It

PinkFloyd 1971 (V) Meddle

1973(V) Dark Side of the Moon

2003(CD) Dark Side of the Moon (30th Anniversary)

1975(V) Wish You Were Here

1977(V) Animals

PlanB 2010 (CD) The Defamation of Strickland Banks

RobertPlant 2002 (CD) Dreamland

RobertPlant and Alison Krauss 2007 (CD) Raising Sand

ThePolice 1978 (V) Outlandos d'Amour

1979(V) Regatta de Blanc

1980(V) Zenyatta Mondatta

1981(V) Ghost in the Machine

1983(V() Synchronicity

PopWill Eat Itself 1992 (V) The Looks or the Lifestyle

PostWar Years 2009 (CD) The Greats and the Happenings

PrefabSprout 1985 (V) Steve McQueen

1988(V) From Langley Park to Memphis

ElvisPresley 2003 (CD) Elvis (Daily Mail)

Pretenders 1980(V) Pretenders

Prince 1988(V) Lovesexy

2003(CD) Compilation

BrianProtheroe 1974 (V) Pinball

ProculHarum 1974 (V) Exotic Birds and Fruit

ChuckProphet 1997 (CD) Homemade Blood

2007(CD) Soap and Water

Psychonauts 2003(CD) Songs for Creatures

Music List - Albums O

2011-09-11T07:07:00.000+01:00

Oasis 2006(CD) Don't Believe the Truth

OfMontreal 2010 (CD) False Priest

MikeOldfield 1973 (V) Tubular Bells

TheOld Grey Whistle Test 1976 (V) Take Two

TheOpen 2004 (CD) The Silent Hours

TheOrb Featuring David Gilmour 2010 (CD) Metallic Spheres

Orbital 1994(CD) Snivilisation

1999(CD) The Middle of Nowhere

OrchestralManoeuvres in the Dark 1980 (V) Organisation

1981(V) Architecture and Morality

TheOriginal Movies Album 2007 (CD)

BethOrton 1996 (CD) Trailer Park

Music List - Albums N

2011-09-10T07:23:00.001+01:00

Well here's a snapshot of the variety you get in my collection eh?

Natty 2008(CD) Man Like I

NewOrder 2001 (CD) Get Ready

TheNice 1971 (V) Elegy

NME 2005(CD) The Soundtrack of Your Summer

AlvaNoto & Ryuichi Sakanoto 2010 (CD) Insen

NuYorican Soul 1997 (CD) Nu Yorican Soul

Music List - Albums M

2011-09-09T09:09:00.001+01:00

Well here we have John Martyn and Massive Attack, fine companions on life's journey. I recall the opening bars of the Mission's set at Nottingham Rock City in about 1987. Three guys with guitars, back-lit, long hair blown by wind machine and one foot on a monitor. Iconic rock image. Good gig. But I want to show you the finest gatefold vinyl sleeve I own. Man's album is great guitar boogie but, as you will see, the cover picture of the band on stage opens out to a huge map of Wales, breaking off from England and being pushed away. Super Furries eat your hearts out. This is how to do Welsh nationalism.

Madness 2003 (CD) Utter Madness

Mail on Sunday Compilation 1998 (CD) 66-98 The World Cup Years

Jesse Malin and the St Mark's Social 2010 (CD) Love it to Life

Man 1972 (V) Be Good to Yourself at Least Once a Day

Phil Manzanera 1975 (V) Diamond Head

Maps 2007 (CD) We Can Create

Marillion 1983 (V) Script for a Jester's Tear

Laura Marling 2010 (CD) I Speak Because I Can

John Martyn 1973 (CD) Solid Air

1996 (CD) And

1998 (CD) The Church with One Bell

2005 (CD) Bless the Weather

Steve Mason 2010 (CD) Boys Outside

Massive Attack 1991 (CD) Blue Lines

1998 (CD) Mezzanine

2010 (CD) Heligoland

Massive Attack v Mad Professor 1995 (CD) No Protection

Maxim 1996 (CD) Class of 96

Paul and Linda McCartney 1971 (V) Ram

Paul McCartney and Wings 1973 (V) Band on the Run

Mike McGear 1974 (V) McGear

MC Solaar 2003 (CD) Mach 6

Ralph McTell 1974 (V) Easy

Medicine Head 1974 (V) Thru' a Five

Medieval Christmas 2006 (CD)

Mellow Jazz Christmas 2006 (CD)

Mercury Rev 1998 (CD) Deserter's Songs

The Meters 1974 (V) Cissy Strut

1975 (CD) Fire on the Bayou

Mew 2005 (CD) And the Glass Handed Kites

MIA 2007 (CD) Kala

George Michael 1987 (V) Faith

1990 (V) Listen Without Prejudice

1996 (CD) Older

Mike and the Mechanics 1985 (V) Mike and the Mechanics

Steve Miller Band 1976 (V) Fly Like an Eagle

1977 (V) Book of Dreams

Charles Mingus 1974 (CD) Mingus at Carnegie Hall

Minus 8 2002 (CD) Minuet

The Mission 1986 (V) God's Own Medicine

1988 (V) Children

Missy Elliott 2002 (CD) Under Construction

Joni Mitchell 1973 (Tape) Court and Spark

1978 (V) Don Juan's Reckless Daughter

Mixmag 1999 (CD) Weekend Warm-up

Moby 1999 (CD) Play

2002 (CD) 18

Modest Mouse 2004 (CD) Good News for People Who Love Bad News

2007 (CD) We Were Dead before the Ship Even Sank

Mojo 1997 (CD) The Mojo Machine Turns You On 3

Moloko 2001 (CD) All Back to the Mine

Thelonius Monk 1957 (CD) ...with John Coltrane

Monty Python 1974 (V) Live at Drury Lane

Gary Moore 1990 (V) Still Got the Blues

Morcheeba 2001 (CD) The Independent on Sunday

Alanis Morisette 1995 (CD) Jagged Little Pill

Van Morrison 1972 (V) St Dominic's Preview

1990 (V) Enlightenment

2007 (CD) At the Movies

Mos Def 2009 (CD) The Ecstatic

Motown Gold 2001 (CD) Compilation

Mott the Hoople 1973 (V) Mott

Mountains 2008 (CD) Choral

Ms Dynamite 2002 (CD) A Little Deeper

Mungo Jerry 1971 (V) Electronically Tested

Muse 2001 (CD) Origin of Symmetry

2006 (CD) Black Holes and Revelations

The Music 2002 (CD) The Music

Advertising Error?

2011-09-08T22:29:00.000+01:00

We bought some new Bibles for our church young people and children. Found a good deal on Amazon and I opened the box today. Here, unedited, is the full selection of advertising offers Amazon felt would appeal to a person who ordered twenty children's Bibles:

1. 14 days free subscription to Love Film.
2. 15% off at Homebase.
3. £40 voucher to use against a Naked Wine order.
4. Save £40 at The Whisky Exchange.

Our ten year olds like nothing better than a few glasses of quality booze and a film after a hard day's DIY.

Music List - Albums L

2011-09-08T18:34:00.000+01:00

Leafcutter John may be the strangest album I own. It's a sort of ambient but precisely what sort I couldn't tell you. It usually annoys me but I feel somehow, I know not why, obliged to plug away until I get it. Lexis is a great drum n' basss album which I heard on John Peel. He introduced me to some fabulous stuff. Los Lobos produce great tracks but a whole album never quite delivers enough. Peace is one of my current desert island discs. There's a long live version here. Little Steven was guitarist in the E Street Band. Do you neeed any further credentials?

Ladyhawke 2008 (CD) Ladyhawke

Seth Lakeman 2002 (CD) The Punch Bowl

2006 (CD) Kitty Jay

2006 (CD) Freedom Fields

2008 (CD) Poor Man's Heaven

The La's 1990 (CD) The La's

The Last Shadow Puppets 2008 (CD) The Age of the Understatement

Lazy Dog Volume 2 2001 (CD) Lazy Dog

LCD Soundsystem 2010 (CD) This is Happening

Leafcutter John 2006 (CD) The Forest and the Sea

Led Zeppelin 1969 (CD) Led Zeppelin

1969 (V) Led Zeppelin 2

1970 (CD) Led Zeppelin 3

1971 (V) Led Zeppelin 4

1973 (CD) Houses of the Holy

Leftfield 1995 (V) Leftism

John Legend and the Roots 2010 (CD) Wake Up!

Legends 2003 (CD) Daily Mail

John Lennon 1975 (V) Rock 'N' Roll

Les Savvy Fav 2007 (CD) Let's Stay Friends

2010 (CD) Root for Ruin

Level 42 1984 (V) True Colours

Lexis 2000 (CD) Branch of Knowledge

Huey Lewis and the News 1986 (V) Fore!

The Libertines 2004 (CD) Exclusive Observer CD

Limp Bizkit 2000 (CD) Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavoured Water

Little Dragon 2007 (CD) Little Dragon

Little Steven 1987 (V) Freedom No Compromise

Living Colour 1990 (V) Time's Up

London Electricity 2003 (CD) Billion Dollar Gravy

London Symphony Orchestra and Guest Soloists

1972 (V) Tommy

Lone Wolf 2010 (CD) The Devil and I

Los Lobos 1984 (V) How Will the Wolf Survive

1992 (V) Kiko

2006 (CD) The Town and the City

Lupe Fiasco 2007 (CD) The Cool

Music List - Albums K

2011-09-07T08:06:00.000+01:00

Not much to say on the Ks except that there was an outbreak of bands beginning with this letter in 2004. Angelique Kidjo is the album I played in the car on the way to visit my Dad in hospital during his final illness. Can't listen to it any more. I have warned you about this before. Kokomo were an excellent soul/funk band like the Average White Band. Sample here.

The Kaiser Chiefs 2005 (CD) Employment

Kasabian 2004 (CD) Kasabian

2006 (CD) Empire

2009 (CD) West Ryder Pauper Lunatic Asylum

Katrina and the Waves 1985 (V) Katrina and the Waves

Keane 2004 (CD) Hopes and Fears

Nick Kelly 1997 (CD) Between Trapezes

Angelique Kidjo 1994 (Tape) Ayé

The Killers 2004 (CD) Hot Fuss

Carole King 1971 (V) Tapestry

Kings of Leon 2003 (CD) Youth and Young Manhood

Kokomo 1975 (V) Rise and Shine

Music List - Albums J

2011-09-06T07:29:00.000+01:00

A dull list of Js to contemplate. Jaga Jazzist is one of my weirder jazz albums but the rest of the ones begining with jazz are all tutorials for me. Except Jazz Liberatorz who, along with the United Future Organisation, push the boundaries and cross-over of jazz.

Joe Jackson 1979 (V) Look Sharp

1979 (V) I'm the Man

1982 (V) Night and Day

Michael Jackson 2001 (CD) Greatest Hits History Vol I

2003 (CD) Number Ones

Jaga Jazzist 2003 (CD) The Stix

The Jam 1983 (V) Snap

Bob James 1977 (V) Heads

Jamiroquai 1993 (Tape) Emergency on Planet Earth

2001 (CD) A Funk Odyssey

Jars of Clay 1996 (CD) Jars of Clay

Norman Jay 2003 (CD) Journeys by DJ

Jazz Classics 1994 (CD)

Jazz Liberatorz 2007 (CD) Clin d'oeil

Jazz Pianists 1994 (CD) The Great...

Jazz Piano 1994 (CD)

Jefferson Starship 1979 (V) Freedom at Point Zero

The Jesus and Mary Chain 1987 (CD) Darklands

Grace Jones 1985 (CD) Island Life

Jesus Jones 1989 (V) Liquidizer

1991 (V) Doubt

Jethro Tull 1972 (CD) Living in the Past

1972 (V) Thick as a Brick

1975 (V) Minstrel in the Gallery

JJ No. 3 2010 (CD) JJ No. 3

Elton John 1970 (V) Elton John

1970 (V) Tumbleweed Connection

1971 (V) Madman Across the Water

1973 (V) Goodbye Yellow Brick Road

1976 (V) Blue Moves

Johnny Boy 2007 (CD) Johnny Boy

Robert Johnson 2002 (CD) Contracted to the Devil

Daniel Johnston 2009 (CD) Is and Always Was

Ewan Jones 2009 (CD) Ordinary

Howard Jones 1984 (V) Human's Lib

1985 (V) Dream Into Action

Junip 2010 (CD) Fields

Jurassic 5 1998 (CD) Jurassic 5 LP

How to run a great church meeting; commandments 19-26

2011-09-06T07:24:00.000+01:00

1. The chair needs to have good enough hearing to be able to pick up the nuances of mutters. Or the meeting needs to be very well behaved if the disability is acknowledged.

2. All hesitations about innovative matters which involve spending money should be delivered after a period for a good discussion.

3. Sensitivity about good actions that may one day upset a minority should not be at the forefront of a debate.

4. Enthusiasm for vision and strategy should outweigh that for details.

5. The opinions of a future chair, not yet in the meeting, or known, or identified, should not be taken into account.

6. Break for prayer. It's a church meeting.

7. Take things outside the meeting if they don't need everyone's time.

8. Have no desire to make sure everyone gets that what you are doing personally is important and useful.

Music List - Albums I

2011-09-05T07:13:00.001+01:00

It's Immaterial were a great electronic/blues cross-over band. Driving Away From Home was a fine road song about roads in northern England. Get my kicks on the M62 sort of thing. Hear it and watch the video here. Iron and Wine are Americans and great lyricists. My older son put me on to them when he heard them support The Shins, which gives them a fine pedigree.

India Arie 2001 (CD) Acoustic Soul

The Invisible 2008 (CD) The Invisible

INXS 1987 (Tape) Kick

1992 (V) Welcome to Wherever You Are

Iron and Wine 2002 (CD) The Creek Drank the Cradle

2004 (CD) Our Endless Numbered Days

2007 (CD) The Shepherd's Dog

2011 (CD) Kiss Each Other Clean

Iron Maiden 1984 (V) Powerslave

It Bites 1986 (V) The Big Lad in the Windmill

It's Immaterial 1986 (V) Life's Hard and then You Die

Give me just a little more time

2011-09-05T07:05:00.005+01:00

No, not another entry on the music list but out of place. More than that.

Frank Knowles, Head Teacher at Walter Halls Primary School in Mapperley, Nottingham, had a great assembly. It was an old folk tale but it worked well and I've used it a lot. It also helps me from time to time. You probably know it so I've updated it.

It concerns a man who lived in a small house with his wife and three children. Once he had lived there alone, but now there were five. Concerned at how to cope with his loss of personal space he was fortunate that he lived in a village where all such problems were taken to the wise old lady at the end of the street. Mrs Wise was her name. Which was great as Mrs Rubbish would have been rubbish.

She scratched her beard, or would have done if she had had one, and said. 'Hmm. You need to get a cat.'

He got a cat. It delighted his small children who had a new playmate. They teased it, chased it and stroked it. It purred on their laps when they sat down for a story. However the man, who we didn't give a name to so we shall call Edna, found all his furniture scratched and little gifts in the house plants rather than the cat litter tray.

He went back to see Mrs Wise. After another moment of imaginary beard stroking she said, 'You need a dog.'

So Edna got a lovely little puppy. The children fed it and petted it and laughed as it chased the now terrified cat round the house. It was a great pet, although Edna now had to get up half an hour earlier to walk the dog before work, had to spend money on cat food and dog food and vets' bills, and found many of his prized ornaments broken on the floor after a chasing scenario.

'Mrs Wise,' he said, relaxing at her house with a vodka and tonic (another reason why her advice was highly sought-after was her copious supply of fine spirits and wines) 'You have not solved my problem.'

'Chicken,' She said.

'I'm not,' replied Edna.

'No', she said, 'You need to get chickens.'

So Edna got chickens and they laid beautiful eggs for breakfast which made everyone happier and healthier. But the cock made a lot of noise when it woke up and so the dog woke up early and needed a wee earlier because, unlike the cat, it didn't pee in the bathroom orchids and asked nicely to be let out, and so Edna became more and more tired.

'Last go,' said Mrs Wise, admitting she was coming up short in the wisdom department of late perhaps it was all the gin, 'Get a cow.'

Several days later, at a family emergency meeting, Edna wondered why Mrs Wise had been so poor at advice. Granted they were drinking fresh milk and eating scrambled eggs at breakfast, and everyone seemed fitter and happier because laughter and exercise produce endorphins and that's good, but they were all sleeping in the corner of one room and often woke up with a cat in the mouth.

'Go and see her one more time,' said Edna's wife Bill.

So he did.

As he arrived at Mrs Wise's house he saw the ambulance. She was on a stretcher and being taken to hospital with liver failure. She croaked. No, not that sort of croaked. She croaked a sentence at Edna. 'Normally I'd advise you to sell all the animals and then you'd enjoy living in the same space as you had before on the you-don't-know-what-you've-got-'til-it's-gone principle but in this case I'm not so sure so I think you should buy a bigger house.' She was good at croaking.

So Edna went back and told Bill and they got out their savings and applied for a mortgage and bought a bigger house.

Which gives us a slightly more complex morality tale than we bargained for, but to summarise:

Don't go and get help if there is an obvious answer staring you in the face.
Try and avoid taking advice off drunken old women.
Never, under any circumstances, get a cat.

Diesel the labrador has gone home this morning at the end of his holidays and that gives me time, having taken him for a walk at 5.45 a.m. in the dark and he could still retrieve, amazing, to appreciate the space in my lovely house and write a story. Thanks Diesel. It's been a blast. Thanks Frank, and probably a Brother Grimm lurking in the background somewhere.

Music List - Albums H

2011-09-04T15:55:00.000+01:00

Not much to brag about in the H-list. Probably any self-respecting modern jazz fan has Head Hunter. Most of the Herbie Hancock catalogue is for aficionados only. Pills n' Thrills is a great Happy Mondays album and the first Hard-Fi is very good except I can't play Move On Now because I associate it too closely with my boys leaving home. Hayes and Cahill will be familiar (although you may not know it) to anyone who has been at a prayer event I have run which has included some moody instrumental music on fiddle and guitar. Is it really 25 years since that first Housemartins album? Gee.

Steve Hackett 1975 (V) Voyage of the Acolyte

Daryl Hall and John Oates 1982 (V) H2O

M.C.Hammer 1990 (Tape) Please Hammer Don't Hurt 'em

Herbie Hancock 1973 (Tape and CD) Head Hunter

1973 (CD) Sextant

1974 (CD) Thrust

1975 (CD) Man-child

1999 (CD) Voyager

2001 (CD) Future 2 Future

Herbie Hancock and Chick Corea 1978 (CD) An Evening with...

Happy Mondays 1988 (CD) Bummed

1990 (V) Pills n' Thrills and Bellyaches

1992 (V) Yes Please

Hard-Fi 2005 (CD) Stars of CCTV

2007 (CD) Once Upon a Time in the West

The Heliocentrics 2007 (CD) Out There

Heritage Orchestra 2006 (CD) Heritage Orchestra

The Hidden Cameras 2003 (CD) The Smell of our Own

Lauryn Hill 1998 (CD) The Miseducation of...

Jools Holland 1992 (CD) The A-Z Geographers Guide to the Piano

Jools Holland and the Rhythm & Blues Orchestra

1996 (CD) Sex & Jazz & Rock & Roll

Jools Holland his Rhythm & Blues Orchestra and Friends

2001 (CD) Small World, Big Band

Roy Harper 1971 (V) Stormcock

Martin Hayes and Dennis Cahill 1997 (CD) The Lonesome Touch

The Hold Steady 2006 (CD) Boys and Girls in America

2008 (CD) Stay Positive

David Holmes 2002 (CD) presents The Free Association

John Lee Hooker 1992 (CD) This is Hip

Hot Chip 2010 (CD) One Life Stand

Hot Hot Heat 2005 (CD) Elevator

Hothouse Flowers 1988 (V) People

The Housemartins 1986 (V) London 0 Hull 4

Hudson Mohawke 2009 (CD) Butter

The Hundred in the Hands 2010 (CD) The Hundred in the Hands

Music List - Albums G

2011-09-03T07:25:00.001+01:00

Well here beginneth my infatuation with Genesis as a spotty teenager. Saw them blow the crowd away at Reading 1973 (the third time I'd seen them by then). This led to the Peter Gabriel appreciation society. Also I enjoyed the blues guitar playing of Rory Gallagher (RIP) who can still cheer me up on a wet morning. Steve Gibbons was a Birmingham pub rocker who had a couple of chart singles. He didn't need a keyboards player at the time. Greasy Truckers was a dirt-cheap live album featuring Hawkwind, a weird guy called Magic Michael, Brinsley Schwarz and Man - the latter doing a 22 minute live version of Spunk Rock which descended into madness.

Peter Gabriel 1977 (V) Peter Gabriel 1

1978 (V) Peter Gabriel 2

1980 (V) Peter Gabriel 3

1982 (V) Peter Gabriel 4

1986 (Tape) So

1992 (Tape) Real World

2002 (CD) Up

Rory Gallagher 1971 (V&CD) Rory Gallagher

1971 (V) Deuce

1973 (V) Blueprint

1973 (V) Tattoo

1975 (CD) Against the Grain

1987 (CD) Defender

2003 (CD) Wheels Within Wheels

Gallagher and Lyle 1976 (V) Breakaway

Marvin Gaye 1971 (CD) What's Going On

Geezers of Nazarath 2004 (CD) Songs on the Radio

Genesis 1970 (V) Trespass

1971 (V) Nursery Cryme

1972 (V) Foxtrot

1973 (V) Selling England by the Pound

1974 (V) The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway

1976 (V) A Trick of the Tail

1976 (V) Wind and Wuthering

1977 (V) Seconds Out

1978 (V) And Then There Were Three

1980 (V) Duke

1981 (V) Abacab

1982 (V) Three Sides Live

1983 (V) (Untitled)

1986 (V) Invisible Touch

Steve Gibbons Band 1976 (V) Any Road Up

1977 (V) Rollin' On

1978 (V) Down in the Bunker

1991 (CD) On the Loose

Girls Aloud 2003 (CD) Sound of the Underground

2005 (CD) Chemistry

Glasvegas 2008 (CD) Glasvegas

Gnarls Barkley 2005 (CD) St Elsewhere

Golden Silvers 2009 (CD) True Romance

Goldfrapp 2000 (CD) Felt Mountain

2003 (CD) Black Cherry

Gomez 1998 (CD) Bring It On

1999 (CD) Liquid Skin

2000 (CD) Machismo E.P.

2000 (CD) Abandoned Shopping Trolley Hotline

2002 (CD) In Our Gun

José Gonzales 2003 (CD) Veneer

2007 (CD) In Our Nature

Ruben Gonzales 1997 (CD) Introducing...

The Good, the Bad and the Queen 2007 (CD) The Good, the Bad and the Queen

Gorillaz 2001 (CD) Gorillaz

2005 (CD) Demon Days

2010 (CD) Plastic Beach

The Go! Team 2004 (CD) Thunder, Lightning, Strike

Go West 1985 (V) Go West

Grateful Dead 1989 (V) Nightfall of Diamonds

David Gray 1998 (CD) White Ladder

Greasy Truckers' Party 1972 (V) Greasy Truckers' Party

Great Jazz Pianists 1994 (CD) Great Jazz Pianists

Green on Red 1989 (V) This Time Around

1989 (V) Here Come the Snakes

Greenslade 1973 (V&CD) Greenslade

1973 (V) Bedside Manners are Extra

1974 (V) Spyglass Guest

1975 (V) Time and Tide

2000 (CD) Large Afternoon

Dave Greenslade 1976 (V) Cactus Choir

Lee Griffiths 2000 (CD) Northern Songs

Grinderman 2007 (CD) Grinderman

Groove Armada 2007 (CD) Greatest Hits

Groove Armada Presents 2004 (CD) Guardian Free CD

Groundhogs 1972 (CD) Split

The Guardian 2004 (CD) FCD

2004 (CD) FCD

2005 (CD) FCD

Music List - Albums F

2011-09-02T08:47:00.001+01:00

I first saw the Faith Brothers supporting REM at Nottingham Rock City in the mid 1980s. One of the bets gigs I've ever been to. Billy Franks was an excellent song-writer. I heard nothing about him until Christopher Brookmyre gave him a name check in the jacket of one of his novels and I discovered he was still around writing songs but had never had fame or fortune. Their two albums are wonderful examples of the song-writer's craft and, since they never headlined in Nottingham, I went to see Julian Cope in order to hear them support. One of the few times I've ever heard a support band get an encore. Sample Come Sunday here. 'Who then are we who wouldn't be seen dead in the dreams of tyrants?' Great opening line. On November 11th will you wear 'an old-world contradiction in your button hole?' Who writes the songs to make you think these days?

Faithless were good company on the road for many post CPAS training evening drives home. They cheered my lonely nights. Rumours is also an album lots of us in our 50s today own. For a year everyone played it. It came out the year Mrs WWA and I married.

The first album I ever bought was Frijid Pink's debut but I sold it. For some reason I still own their less good second album. Four Tet (Kieran Hebden's performance name) is a wonderfuly innovative collection of music. Never seen him live but I'm told he sometimes plays stuff no-one has heard before, or the whole of one ten year old album. Quite chilled.

Sensual Thing by the Four of Us is currently one of my Desert Island Discs. It is a great rock song but here are two of the band doing it acoustically.

Fabulous Thunderbirds 1986 (V) Tuff Enuff

Faith Brothers 1985 (V) Eventide

1987 (V) A Human Soundtrack

Faithless 1996 (CD) Reverence

1998 (CD) Sunday 8 pm

2000 (CD) Back to Mine

2001 (CD) Outrospective

2004 (CD) No Roots

2006 (CD) Renaissance 3D

2010 (CD) The Dance

Family 1973 (V) It's Only a Movie

Fashion 1982 (V) Fabrique

The Fat Lady Sings 1991 (V) Twist

1993 (CD) Johnson

Fear of Music 2006 (CD) Various Artists

The Feelies 1980 (CD) Crazy Rhythms

Feist 2007 (CD) The Reminder

Fine Young Cannibals 1985 (V) Fine Young Cannibals

Neil Finn 2001 (CD) Songs from...

The Firm 1985 (V) The Firm

The Flaming Lips 2002 (CD) Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots

Fleet Foxes 2008 (CD) Fleet Foxes

Fleetwood Mac 1977 (V) Rumours

1987 (V) Tango in the Night

Florence and the Machine 2009 (CD) Lungs

Flying Lotus 2010 (CD) Cosmogramma

FM 1986 (V) Indiscreet

1989 (V) Tough it Out

Foals 2010 (CD) Total Life Forever

Focus 1971 (V) Moving Waves

2004 (CD) The Greatest Hits

Dan Fogelberg 1974 (V) Souvenirs

The Four of Us 1992 (Tape) Man Alive

Four Tet 2001 (CD) Pause

2003 (CD) Rounds

2004 (CD) Late Night Tales

2010 (CD) There Is Love in You

Aretha Franklin 1997 (CD) Compilation - no title

Michael Franti and Spearhead 2003 (CD) Everyone Deserves Music

2008 (CD) All Rebel Rockers

Franz Ferdinand 2004 (CD) Franz Ferdinand

2005 (CD) You Could Have It So Much Better

Free 1969 (V) Free

Fenech-Soler 2010 (CD) Fenech-Soler

Fried 2004 (CD) Fried

Frijid Pink 1970 (V) Defrosted

The Futureheads 2004 (CD) The Futureheads

2006 (CD) News and Tributes

2008 (CD) This Is Not the World

Music List - Albums E

2011-09-01T10:36:00.001+01:00

A list of Es. It wasn't a drug-related pun when I started collecting. Easy Star All-Stars make me smile with their dub versions of pop greats. If there is one album from 1977 everyone has got it's probably Out of the Blue. Conditioned Soul off the Eurythmics album has one of my favourite all time guitar breaks on it. Jump to 3 mins 09 secs if you are impatient. Everything but the Girl is the music of love (well it is for us) and Eno has enhanced many worship experiences down the years.

808 State 1989 (V) 90

Eagles 1974 (V) On the Border

1976 (V) Their Greatest Hits

Easy Like Sunday Morning 2002 (CD) 20 Classic tracks

Easy Star All-Stars 2003 (CD) Dub Side of the Moon

2006 (CD) Radiodread

2008 (CD) Until That Day

2009 (CD) Easy Star's Lonely Hearts Dub Band

Editors 2005 (CD) The Back Room

Dave Edmunds 1979 (V) Crawling from the Wreckage

Eight Mile 2002 (CD) Music Inspired by the Motion Picture

Elastica 1995 (CD) Elastica

Elbow 2002 (CD) Asleep in the Back

2003 (CD) Cast of Thousands

2005 (CD) Leaders of the Free World

2008 (CD) The Seldom Seen Kid

Electric Light Orchestra 1977 (V) Out of the Blue

Electronic 1999 (CD) Twisted Tenderness

Emerson, Lake and Palmer 1970 (CD) ELP

1971 (CD) Tarkus

1972 (V) Pictures at an Exhibition

1972 (V) Trilogy

Eminem 2000 (CD) The Michael Mathers LP

Empire 2000 (CD) Empire Elite

Eno 1973 (V) Here Come the Warm Jets

1974 (CD) Taking Tiger Mountain by Strategy

Brian Eno 1978 (CD) Ambient 1: Music for Airports

1982 (CD) Ambient 4: On Land

Erasure 1989 (V) Wild

Eurythmics 1985 (V) Be Yourself Tonight

Bill Evans 1956/58 (CD) Everybody Digs

Everything but the Girl 1994 (CD) Amplified Heart

1996 (CD) Walking Wounded

1999 (CD) Temperamental

2002 (CD) Like the Deserts Miss the Rain

2005 (CD) Adapt or Die

The Experimental Pop Band 1997 (CD) Discogrotesque

2000 (CD) The Tracksuit Trilogy

Music List - Albums D

2011-08-31T08:07:00.000+01:00

Some real favourites here. Dusted is one of my most-loved albums. It's the work of Rollo and the Faithless crew. I remember hearing a track as Mark and Lard's record of the week in the days when they had the Radio 1 afternoon show and I was travelling a lot. The Dead 60s is also an album I turn to when I need to dance alone around the house. Cross between old fashioned R and B and Madness. Definition of Sound was my second ever hip-hop album. The first, by Disposable Heroes, is also here. I bought a remastered Department S compilation recently, hoping they had done other stuff as good as their singles Going Left Right and Is Vic There? They hadn't. Ian Dury and Dr John always a delight. The latter an inspiration as a pianist. Dr Feelgood on in the car at the moment and What Were Once Vices another candidate for favourite album with no stand-out track. I wonder if Kind of Blue is the album I own that most other people own?

Check out Dr Feelgood doing Roxette here. Sorry about the talking-a-bit-pretentiously introduction first. So, the Ds:

Terence Trent D'Arby 1987 (V) Introducing the Hardline According to ...

The Dark 2010 (CD) The Dark

Miles Davis 1959 (CD) Kind of Blue

1970 (CD) Bitches Brew

Deacon Blue 1987 (V) Raintown

1989 (V) When the World Knows Your Name

The Dead 60s 2005 (CD) The Dead 60s

The Dears 2006 (CD) Gang of Losers

The Decemberists 2005 (CD) Picaresque

Deep Purple 1972 (V) Machine Head

Definition of Sound 1991 (V) Love and Life: A Journey with the Chameleons

Del Amitri 1989 (V) Waking Hours

Delays 2003 (CD) Faded Seaside Glamour

2005 (CD) You See Colours

Delphic 2010 (CD) Acolyte

Department S 2002 (CD) Sub-Stance

Dido 2000 (CD) No Angel

2008 (CD) Safe Trip Home

Diesel Park West 1995 (CD) Freak Gene

Dire Straits 1978 (V) Dire Straits

1982 (V) Love Over Gold

1984 (V) Alchemy

Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy 1992 (CD) Hypocrisy is the Greatest Luxury

Do Me Bad Things 2005 (CD) Yes!

Doobie Brothers 1972 (CD) Toulouse Street

1973 (CD) The Captain and Me

1974 (V) What Were Once Vices Are Now Habits

1976 (V) Best of the Doobies

Doves 2002 (CD) The Last Broadcast

2004 (CD) Some Cities

2009 (CD) Kingdom of Rust

Kit Downes Trio 2010 (CD) Golden

Dread Zeppelin 2000 (CD) de-jah-voodoo

Dr Feelgood 1991 (CD) Live 1976-90

Dr John 1995 (CD) The Very Best of Dr John

1997 (CD) Voodoo Blues

1998 (CD) Anutha Zone

1998 (CD) A Night in New Orleans

1999 (CD) Duke Elegant

Dr John and the Lower 911 2010 (CD) Tribal

Dubstar 1996 (CD) Disgraceful

Duffy 2008 (CD) Rockferry

Duran Duran 1981 (V) Duran Duran

Ian Dury 1992 (CD) The Bus Driver's Prayer and Other Stories

Ian Dury and the Blockheads 1977 (V) New Boots and Panties

1998 (CD) Mr Love Pants

Dusted 2000 (CD) When We Were Young

A Few Thoughts on Baptism

2011-08-30T19:40:00.003+01:00

Recently a member of the church I pastor - we'll call him Bill - left to join another, local evangelical church. Not an Anglican one. This member had been baptised and confirmed an Anglican and I had the great pleasure of baptising one of his children, old enough to make the promises for herself.

Another member of the church approached me a few weeks later and asked how I thought she should respond to an invitation to Bill's baptism. Apparently he was being baptised by immersion into membership of this new church.

We seem to be in a mess about baptism again.

The arguments for and against infant baptism have been well rehearsed. To summarise the pro position - whole households were baptised in the New Testament which knows of no way to treat someone as a Christian except to baptise them.

Those who practice only 'believers'' baptism argue that a profession of faith is needed from the lips of the candidate before any baptism takes place. Such people object to the practice of infant baptism (they tend to call it 'christening') and particularly to indiscriminate baptism which treats everyone as in before they opt out rather than vice-versa.

I don't think it's ever going to be resolved although it is a muddle for those who are on the outside of the church looking in. A parish with a strict policy looks silly if people simply go to another church of the same denomination just down the road.

As many of you know the practice of confirmation is to allow those who were baptised as infants to make their promises for themselves. It is administered by a bishop (I know not why). It is also the rite of full membership of the Anglican church although it feels a little odd to many adult converts who are asked to be baptised and then confirmed in quick succession. I was baptised aged 4 months and confirmed aged 19.

I wondered what they did at an American church I really respect - Mars Hill Bible Church. Their web-site states their policy as 'accepting anyone's baptism as valid if they do.' So, if you are satisfied that your 'christening' aged 4 months was valid, Mars Hill will be too. If you are not they will baptise you.

It saves a lot of trouble and offers those who practice infant baptism more respect than most non-Anglicans do.

As with much Anglican stuff, I wouldn't choose to start from here, but I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.

Music List - Albums C

2011-08-30T07:35:00.001+01:00

Chakk's album was twenty years too early. Keith Christmas was the support act at the first gig I ever went to alone (Ten Years After, Birmingham Town hall, 1971) and I was mesmerised by his guitar style but forgot him for thirty-five years until Amazon came along. The Christians (not Christians particularly) were a great band and the album has a lovely sense of progression to it. Great live at Rock City in about 1987 or 8. Commander Cody are a fine moonstomp, bar rock, country, truck-driving band. Again, great live and yet often the cause of divorce-related conversations (for instance, when I play their music in the house). Ry Cooder is a genius and has done as much as Peter Gabriel to get world music to the masses. Of course he promoted the Buena Vista Social Club which, amazingly, I have never catalogued and need to re-insert in yesterday's B-list.

Campag Velocet 1999 (CD) Bon Chic Bon Genre

2004 (CD) It's Beyond Our Control

Jim Capaldi 1972 (V) Oh How We Danced

Captain Beefheart 1972 (CD) The Spotlight Kid

1982 (CD) Ice Cream for Crow

1998 (CD) Electricity

Caribou 2010 (CD) Swim

Jasper Carrott 1975 (V) Rabbits on and on and on...

1978 (V) The Best of...

Cast 1997 (CD) Mother Nature Calls

The Cat Empire 2007 (CD) Two Shoes

Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds 2001 (CD) The Independent on Sunday

Chakk 1986 (V) Ten Days in an Elevator

Tracy Chapman 1988 (V) Tracy Chapman

Ray Charles 1990 (V) The Collection

Neneh Cherry 1989 (Tape) Raw Like Sushi

The Christians 1987 (V) The Christians

Keith Christmas 2004 (CD) Timeless and Strange

The Cinematic Orchestra 2002 (CD) Everyday

2007 (CD) Ma Fleur

Cinerama 2001 (CD) The Peel Sessions

City Boy 1976 (V) City Boy

Eric Clapton 1987 (V) The Cream of Eric Clapton

Eric Clapton and the Yardbirds 1992 (CD) Eric Clapton and the Yardbirds

Clap Your Hands Say Yeah 2005 (CD) Clap Your Hands Say Yeah

2007 (CD) Some Loud Thunder

Clor 2005 (CD) Clor

Bruce Cockburn 2006 (CD) Life Short: Call Now

Coldplay 2000 (CD) Acoustic (Free with Independent)

2002 (CD) A Rush of Blood to the Head

2005 (CD) X & Y

2008 (CD) Viva la Vida

Phil Collins 1981 (V) Face Value

1982 (V) Hello, I Must be Going

John Coltrane 2002 (CD) A Love Supreme

Commander Cody and the Lost Planet Airmen

1975 (CD) Lost in Space

1975 (V) Commander Cody and the Lost Planet Airmen

Ry Cooder 1979 (V) Bop Till You Drop

2005 (CD) Chavez Ravine

2007 (CD) My Name is Buddy

Julian Cope 1984 (V) Fried

The Coral 2002 (CD) The Coral

2003 (CD) Magic and Medicine

2005 (CD) The Invisible Invasion

Cornershop 2002 (CD) Handcream for a Generation

Elvis Costello 1977 (V) My Aim is True

Elvis Costello and the Attractions 1979 (V) Armed Forces

John Cougar 1985 (Tape) The Collection

John Cougar Mellencamp 1987 (V) The Lonesome Jubilee

Crazy Town 1999 (CD) The Gift of Game

Creedence Clearwater Revival 1970 CD) Cosmo's Factory

1970 (V) Willy and the Poor Boys

Brendan Croker and the Five O'Clock Shadows

1989 (V) Brendan Croker and the Five O'Clock Shadows

Crosby, Stills and Nash 1969 (CD) Crosby, Stills and Nash

Crowded House 1986 (CD) Crowded House

1988 (CD) Temple of Low Men

1991 (Tape) Woodface

1993 (CD&tape) Together Alone

CTI Records 2004 (CD) The Master Series Sampler

Jamie Cullum 2005 (CD) Catching Tales

The Cure 1990 (V) Mixed Up

1996 (CD) Wild Mood Swings

2001 (CD) Greatest Hits

Music List - Albums B

2011-08-29T10:39:00.000+01:00

There's some fine music in this set. Must dig out the Bible's album. Forgot I owned it. Also the Butts Band, a Jess Roden incarnation before he began his solo career. A wonderful British soul voice with a tight band behind him. Great music. One of my favourite albums with no stand-out tracks:

Bach 2003 (CD) Cello Suites 1-6 (Peter Bruns)

Bad Company 1974 (V) Bad Company

1975 (V) Straight Shooter

The Bad Plus 2001 (CD) These Are the Vistas

2005 (CD) Suspicious Activity?

Erykah Badu 1997 (CD) Baduizm

Band of Horses 2010 (CD) Infinite Arms

The Bangles 1984 (V) All Over the Place

Devendra Banhart 2007 (CD) Smokey Rolls Down Thunder Canyon

Bargrooves 2004 (CD) Metropolitan

2005 (CD) Manhattan

Battles 2007 (CD) Mirrored

Beach Boys 1962-69 (V) Twenty Golden Greats

1968 (V) The Best of the Beach Boys Vol. III

1973 (V) In Concert

Beach House 2010 (CD) Teen Dream

The Beat 1980 (V) I Just Can't Stop It

Beatles 1968 (V) White Album, disc one only in wrong sleeve

1966-70 (Tape) 1966-70

Jeff Beck Group 1972 (CD) Jeff Beck Group

Beck, Bogart and Appice 1973 (V) Beck, Bogart and Appice

The Bees 2004 (CD) Free the Bees

Bell 2004 (CD) Seven Types of Six

Bellowhead 2008 (CD) Matachin

Benga 2008 (CD) Diary of an Afro Warrier

The Beta Band 1998 (CD) Three E.P.s

1999 (CD) The Beta Band

2001 (CD) Hot Shots II

Beyoncé 2003 (CD) Dangerously in Love

Eric Bibb 2004 (CD) Friends

Bibio 2009 (CD) Ambivalence Avenue

The Bible 1988 (V) Eureka

Big Audio Dynamite 1985 (V) This is Big Audio Dynamite

Big Country 1983 (V) The Crossing

1984 (V) Steel Town

Big Issue 2004 (CD) Peace Not War

Black Affair 2007 (CD) Pleasure Pressure Point

Black Grape 1995 (CD) It's Great When You're Straight... Yeah

1997 (CD) Stupid Stupid Stupid

Black Kids 2008 (CD) Partie Traumatic

Blaxploitation - The Sequel 1997 (CD)

Blind Faith 1969 (CD) Blind Faith

Blondie 1998 (CD) No Exit

The Blue Melody Boys 1996 (CD) Staring into the Wind

Blues Brothers 1980 (V) Original Soundtrack

Blur 1991 (CD) Leisure

1994 (CD) Parklife

2003 (CD) Think Tank

2003 (CD) The Observer, Exclusive

Bonobo 2000 (CD) Animal Magic

2010 (CD) Black Sands

Boo Radleys 1993 (Tape) Giant Steps

1995 (CD) Wake Up!

David Bowie 1971 (V) Hunky Dorie

1969-75 (V) Changes One

1972 (V) The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars

1984 (V) Tonight

1997 (CD) The Best of 69/74

1997 (CD) The Best of 74/76

BR5-49 1996 (CD) BR5-49

The Bravery 2005 (CD) The Bravery

Edie Brickell and the New Bohemians

1988 (CD) Shooting Rubber Bands at the Stars

Brinsley Schwarz 1978 (V) Fifteen Thoughts of Brinsley Schwarz

British Gold 1975 (V) K-tel compilation

British Sea Power 2005 (CD) Open Season

2008 (CD) Do You Like Rock Music?

Broadcast 2006 (CD) The Future Crayon

Broken Bells 2009 (CD) Broken Bells

Ian Brown 2004 (CD) Solarized

James Brown 1991 (CD) The Very Best of...

Dave Brubeck 2003 (CD) The Essential

Bruce and the Robin Rockers 1966 (V) The Batman Theme

Lindsay Buckingham 2008 (CD) Gift of Screws

Grant Lee Buffalo 1993 (CD) Fuzzy

Built to Spill 2006 (CD) You in Reverse

Burial 2006 (CD) Burial

2008 (CD) Untrue

Kate Bush 1978 (V) The Kick Inside

1978 (V) Lionheart

1985 (V) Hounds of Love

1993 (Tape) The Red Shoes

The Butts Band 1974 (V) The Butts Band

Indestructible Toys

2011-08-28T15:56:00.001+01:00

The giant tennis ball lasted three days. The green springy thing was an aid to toothy health and guaranteed indestructible. Lasted three hours. We need more things to chew. Preferably made out of the same material as the black boxes for flight recorders.

Music List - Albums A

2011-08-28T08:03:00.000+01:00

So the singles thing was a bit of a passing phase. Individual tunes are easily listened to on YouTube these days if you get the whim. Today I only buy old singles from charity shops and nothing more. But I have been buying albums for forty years or so. This second half of the list will be altogether more interesting.

ABC 1990 (CD) Absolutely

Ace 1974 (V) Five-a-Side

1975 (V) Time for Another

Adem 2004 (CD) Homesongs

Aerosmith 2005 (CD) Gold

Afro-Cuban All Stars 1997 (CD) A Toda Cuba le Gusta

1999 (CD) Distinto, Differente

AGF/Delay 2009 (CD) Symptoms

Air 1998 (CD) Moon Safari

2000 (CD) The Virgin Suicides

2001 (CD) 10000 HZ Legend

Airhead 1992 (V) Boing

Alabama 3 1997 (CD) Exile on Coldharbour Lane

2000 (CD) La Peste

2002 (CD) Power in the Blood

2003 (CD) Last Train to Nashville Vol. 2

2005 (CD) Outlaw

2007 (CD) M.O.R.

2010 (CD) Revolver Soul

The Alarm 1988 (V) Electric Folklore Live

All About Eve 1988 (V) All About Eve

All Saints 2000 (CD) Saints and Sinners

Ambulance LTD 2005 (CD) LP

Amparanoia 2004 (CD) Rebeldia Con Alegria

Analog Man 2002 (CD) Bedside Music

Ian Anderson 1995 (CD) Divinities: Twelve Dances with God

Animals 1965 (V) The Most of the Animals

Anjunabeats 2003 (CD) Volume One

Appliance 1999 (CD) Manual

Arcadia 1985 (V) So Red the Rose

Argent 1973 (V) In Deep

Richard Ashcroft 2000 (CD) (Free with The Independent)

Mulatu Astatke / The Heliocentrics 2009 (CD) Inspiration Information

Athlete 2003 (CD) Vehicles and Animals

2004 (CD) Tourist

2009 (CD) Black Swan

Rowan Atkinson 1980 (V) Live in Belfast

Atlum Schema 2005 (CD) The Final Scene

Auteurs 1993 (V) New Wave

1995 (CD) After Murder Park

Joan Armatrading 1976 (V) Joan Armatrading

1978 (V) To the Limit

Average White Band 1978 (V) Feel no Fret

Somerset. Sunday, 6.45 a.m.

2011-08-28T07:34:00.000+01:00

Please excuse the quality of these pictures, taken on my Nokia X-6 this, and yesterday, morning but what a joy it is to walk in the early autumn Somerset countryside with a black labrador.

Music List - Z

2011-08-27T09:10:00.000+01:00

Here they come. Can you guess what they are yet? Two singles by artists beginning with Z:

Michael Zager Band 1978 (V) Let's All Chant

Z Z Top 1983 (V) Gimme All Your Lovin'

Tomorrow we start on the albums. There will be nine Zs. Mainly by two artists/bands.

Music List - X and Y

2011-08-26T09:51:00.001+01:00

I have no Xs. No X-Ray Specs, no XTC. Nothing. Y however includes:

Yazoo 1982 (V) The Other Side of Love

1982 (V) Only You

Yazz and the Plastic Population 1988 (V) The Only Way is Up

Yes 1971 (V) Yours is no Disgrace

1973 (V) And You and I

1983 (V) Owner of a Lonely Heart

Paul Young 1983 (V) Come Back and Stay

1983 (VT) Love of the Common People

1984 (V) I'm Gonna Turn Your Playhouse Down

Music List - W

2011-08-25T11:32:00.001+01:00

The wonderful Ws. The Who, Stevie Wonder and er, the Wombles. Oops. Also the Stuffies. Possibly the greatest rock and roll line ever written:

You can tell by the way I walk

I'm a Mindy man no time for Mork

Joe Walsh 1973 (V) Rocky Mountain Way

Clifford T. Ward 1973 (V) Scullery

Was (Not Was) 1987 (V) Walk the Dinosaur

Dennis Waterman 1979 (V) I Could Be So Good for You

Weather Report 1977 (VT) Birdland

Wham 1984 (V) Wake Me Up before You Go

1984 (V) Freedom

1984 (V) Last Christmas

Lenny White 1978 (V) Lady Madonna

Whitesnake 1981 (V) Don't Break My Heart Again

The Who 1967 (V) I Can See for Miles

1969 (V) Pinball Wizard

1972 (V) Join Together

1971 (V) Won't Get Fooled Again

1971 (V) Let's See Action

1973 (V) 5.15

1978 (V) Who Are You?

Wild Cherry 1976 (V) Play That Funky Music

Denise Williams 1977 (V) Free

Mason Williams 1968 (V) Classical Gas

Danny Wilson 1988 (V) Mary's Prayer

Victoria Wilson-James 1991 (V) Through

Pete Wingfield 1975 (V) Eighteen with a Bullet

Wings 1978 (V) I've Had Enough

Edgar Winter Group 1973 (V) Round and Round

Billy Withers 1977 (V) Lovely Day

Wizzard 1974 (V) Are You Ready to Rock

Wombles 1974 (V) Wombling Merry Christmas

Stevie Wonder 1972 (V) Superstition

1973 (V) Higher Ground

1973 (V) Living for the City

1974 (V) Boogie on Reggae Woman

Wonder Stuff 1989 (V) Who Wants to be the Disco King

Music List - V

2011-08-24T14:03:00.000+01:00

A short list for the letter V but a fantastic tune by Voice of the Beehive which I need to refer you to here.

Van Halen 1983 (V) Jump

Vapors 1980 (V) Turning Japanese

1980 (V) News at Ten

Village People 1978 (V) Y.M.C.A.

Voice of the Beehive 1988 (V) I Walk the Earth

Music List - U

2011-08-23T08:03:00.000+01:00

I would like to say that, whilst taking personal responsibility for most of the humiliating content of my music collection, Uncle Bruce's vinyl story came to me by marriage. I remind everyone this is two people's collection:

UB40 1980 (V) Food for Thought / King

1983 (V) Please Don't Make Me Cry

U.F.O. 1979 (V) Doctor, Doctor

Ultravox 1983 (V) We Came to Dance

1984 (V) One Small Day

1984 (VT) Dancing with Tears in My Eyes

Uncle Bruce 1969 (V) Sinbad the Sailor

Untouchables 1984 (V) Free Yourself

Midge Ure 1982 (V) No Regrets

U.S.A. Africa 1985 (VT) We Are the World

And that gets us to?

2011-08-22T07:34:00.000+01:00

There's an episode of the West Wing where C.J.Cregg has her first day as The President's Chief of Staff. Her secretary, Margaret has just listed several tasks and meetings and CJ says, 'And that gets us to?'

8.30 is the answer. And we are left with no doubt this is a.m.

Well I've been for a long and beautiful walk in the Somerset countryside, tidied the conservatory twice, done all the recycling sorting, updated my blog and had breakfast and it appears to be 7.30 a.m. The next two weeks in the company of Diesel the labrador are going to see a subtle change to my working patterns.

He is eating a giant tennis ball at the moment. That is fine as the debris can be thrown away but the indestructible squeaky duck may have to be confiscated.